Parenting On Purpose

 

Judges 13: 8  Then Manoah entreated the LORD, and said, O my Lord, let the man of God which thou didst send come again unto us, and teach us what we shall do unto the child that shall be born.  9  And God hearkened to the voice of Manoah; and the angel of God came again unto the woman as she sat in the field: but Manoah her husband was not with her.  10  And the woman made haste, and ran, and showed her husband, and said unto him, Behold, the man hath appeared unto me, that came unto me the other day.

11  And Manoah arose, and went after his wife, and came to the man, and said unto him, Art thou the man that spakest unto the woman? And he said, I am.  12  And Manoah said, Now let thy words come to pass. How shall we order the child, and how shall we do unto him?

Israel was in a terrible backslide condition…  13:1  And the children of Israel did evil again in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD delivered them into the hand of the Philistines forty years.

Manoah’s wife was barren… and an Angel appeared unto her.

(Sometimes you know when your gonna have a baby – and sometimes it’s a surprise! )

8       Then Manoah entreated the LORD, and said, O my Lord, let the man of God which thou didst send come again unto us, and teach us what we shall do unto the child that shall be born.

**** THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH SEEKING CLARIFICATION FROM GOD! ****

So God sends the angel again to her…  and he chases the angel down and asks = How shall we order him?

ORDER: = H8199; prop. a verdict (favorable or unfavorable) pronounced judicially, espec. a sentence or formal decree (human or [partic.] divine law,    (è  What kind of law do we raise him under? )

POINT:  When God gives us children… they are to be ORDERED  = ( raised with direction )

Psa 127: 3  Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.  4  As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. 5  Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them:

The life of a young man or woman will be shot in some direction by a parent!

That is why parenting must be proactive!   (AGGRESSIVE AT TIMES )

Paul described our times as … PERILOUS   (Never before have children / youth been so corrupt & hurting )

Saints need to be willing to exercise some “DISCIDIUM AETERNUS”  = (refuse to go along with a crowd)

è We live in a time when your laughed at if you’re a lifestyle conservative.  (political or religious)

è  be careful not to get sucked into pop culture  = BIBLE IS OUR GUIDEç

But it is in the midst of a religiously backslide and evil generation that Manoah prayed…

TELL ME HOW TO DIRECT & RAISE MY CHILD!  ( our kids really belong to God )

IN OUR PERILOUS TIMES WE NEED SOME PROACTIVE PARENTS WITH BIBLICAL BACKBONE

Not afraid to stand up against conventional pop cultural thinking

The NT Apostolic church was born with this Holy Ghost HEADLINE…

THIS PROMISE IS UNTO YOU, AND YOUR CHILDREN AND TO ALL THAT AFAR OFF!

So let’s talk about PROACTIVE PARENTING a bit…   Some points to consider…

First = it’s well that all of us PRAY for God’s help in guiding our homes!

We are trying to lead our children in a dark world!

(Hottest New Wireless hand held device in CA = flashlight)

LISTEN:          IF THE HOUSE IS DARK  – IT’S THE LIGHTS FAULT!

BIBLICAL POINT # 1:

= KIDS ARE INHERENTLY EVIL!

This is NOT what our world is saying… basic thinking today is kids are basically good.

Self Actualization is the buzz word of today…

Jer 17: 9  The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?  10  I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.

Prov 22: 15  Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Children are so precious when born… The Apple looks so good = but there’s a worm in it!

Children are born in self centered delinquency! =  BARBARIC SAVAGES!

GIVE ME NOW!!!    Every society is 20 years from barbarism

Rom 7: 18  For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. 19  For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.

WE WERE BORN WITH ADAM’S SIN  = Our PREDISPOSITION IS TOWARD SIN!

I Cor 15: 51  Behold, I show you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed,  52  In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.  53  For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality.  54  So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory.

Sometimes your kids will whine…  “YOU DON’T TRUST ME”

A parent must be willing and direct sometimes and say = YOUR RIGHT!

I DON’T TRUST YOU WITH THAT MUCH TEMPTATION!

Creating accountability is a key to protecting your child

TEACH THEM :  It’s a wicked world out there – people will hurt you

SOMETIMES PARENTS: JUST SAY NO!

BIBLICAL POINT #2

PARENTS HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF TEACHING

                                                                  RESPECT FOR AUTHORITY!

Real Issue with me:   Kids need a parent – not another friend!   (don’t fear your kids not liking you)

To many parents are afraid their kids wont love them…I have a greater fear that my child wont respect me!

NEWS FLASH:  If your kids don’t respect you… they will never truly learn to love you!

Prov 9: 8  Reprove not a scorner, (A VERBAL MOCKER) lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee.  9  Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.  10  The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.  11 For by me thy days shall be multiplied, and the years of thy life shall be increased.

NEWS FLASH:        I BELIEVE IN SPANKING             ( But I don’t believe in abuse)

Here is a verse that makes pop cultural liberals come unglued… buts its still the word!

Prov 19: 18  Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.  19  A man of great wrath shall suffer punishment: for if thou deliver him, yet thou must do it again.  20  Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.  21  There are many devices in a man’s heart; nevertheless the counsel of the LORD, that shall stand.  22  The desire of a man is his kindness: and a poor man is better than a liar.  23  The fear of the LORD tendeth to life: and he that hath it shall abide satisfied; he shall not be visited with evil.

A PARENTS JOB IS TO TEACH THE FEAR OF THE LORD TO THEIR CHILDREN

But it’s hard to do when you don’t have any of your own!

Eph 6:1  Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.  2  Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;  3  That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.  4  And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

If a parent does not instill RESPECT in a child for the rule of order… eventually they will be lost.

WON’T OBEY – Police, Judge, Pastor – GOD

DON’T SAY YOUR DIRECTION TO YOUR CHILD OVER AND OVER AGAIN!  = (mean it 1^st time)

DON’T YELL…  SIMPLY ENFORCE  ( if your emotions are all tied up in it – you might abuse!)

CORRECTION DOES NOT REQUIRE ANGER!

LISTEN TO THE QUALS OF A BISHOP…

I Tim 3: 2  A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;   3  Not given to wine, no striker, (QUARELSOME) not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, (PEACEABLE)  not covetous;  4  One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;  5  (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

**** THE CONTEXT WAS THIS:  You have to learn how to rule w/o being a tyrant!

You don’t need ANGER, LOUD YELLING, PUSHING

*** You can’t lead God’s house that way  – and yours either!

Parents:  If you have to scream in order to get anything done… You are not in charge of your house!

Heb 12: 5  And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:  6  For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.  7  If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?  8  But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.  ( ILLEGITIMATE SON )

Chastening = disciplinary correction

SERIOUS BUSINESS TO GOD

Due 23: 2  A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

BASTARD: ( mongrel, i.e. born of a Jewish father and a heathen mother )

  9  Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?   10  For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.   11  Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.  (EMILY’S HOMEWORK)

12  Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees;  13  And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.  14  Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:  (SUCK IT UP AND TOUGHEN UP!)

TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO RESPECT THE HOUSE OF GOD!

I Tim 3: 14  These things write I unto thee, hoping to come unto thee shortly:  15  But if I tarry long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth.

Know how to practically do that?

BACK UP THE TEACHER / YOUTH DEPT –  INSTEAD OF THE CHILD ALL THE TIME

Folks:  The church is here to help you order your child… we are on the same team!

When you constantly talk about the church or pastor in front of them…

Your undermining your own household!

BIBLICAL POINT # 3     

è   DON’T STOP PARENTING TO SOON!

 

By the time your kids get into teenage years…  they need parents more then anytime! (wont admit it)

Sometimes your kids will wear you out…   OK… rest… BUT DON’T STOP!

When they are children… your role is protector and provider and ruler…

When they get older = THEY NEED A MENTOR  (not constantly yelling)

KNOW WHAT THEY ARE INTO… KNOW WHO THEY ARE WITH!

WATCH THEM CLOSE !!!

Let them know…  I will continue to care about WHO you hang around with.  Where you will be.

WHAT you are watching!   I will check your room!

THIS HOUSE IS NOT A DEMOCRACY!

PARENTS =  BE PROACTIVE =   aggressive…  How do I order the child?

ASK GOD TO SHOW YOU WHERE YOUR KIDS ARE HIDING THEIR MISCHEIF!

And don’t loose control and fall apart when he does!

LISTEN:  Your kids will try the lines and get into mischief  (doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent )

It means you had a delinquent like your parents did!

THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT NEED TAUGHT TO OUR KIDS…

HINT: Sometimes what your doing is so loud they can’t hear what your saying!

Here are some great LESSONS to teach your kids…

Prov 22:1  A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold.   (CHARACTER)  2  The rich and poor meet together: the LORD is the maker of them all. (NOT BETTER THEN SOMEBODY JUST CAUSE YOU GOT MORE MONEY)   3  A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished.  (LIFE REQUIRES MANAGEMENT –SO THINK AHEAD AND PAY ATTENTION!)   4  By humility and the fear of the LORD are riches, and honour, and life. (A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD IS PARAMOUNT)  5  Thorns and snares are in the way of the froward: = (distorted, twisted, false) YOU CAN’T DO THINGS WRONG AND EXPECT THEM TO COME OUT RIGHT!  =  DOING THINGS RIGHT DOES PAY OFF!   he that doth keep his soul shall be far from them. IN OTHER WORDS – IT DOES MATTER WHO YOU FELLOWHIP WITH!   6  Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.  7  The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.   (MONEY MANAGEMENT / STEWARDSHIP)

THESE ARE THE KIND OF THINGS THAT NEED TO BE TAUGHT

****  Let us seek God for our family like Manoah… HOW SHALL WE ORDER THE CHILD?