How does a right relationship of intimacy between pastor and people become a reality? It is the pastor who sets the stage for such a relationship. Here are a few suggestions for developing this kind of relationship with your saints.
Express your love openly. After you preach on Sundays, stand at the door and shake hands with and hug as many as you can. Love them. Brag on them. Encourage them.
Listen to your critics. You don’t have to do all that your critics suggest, but do listen to them.
Do not strike the first blow. Refuse to retaliate. You will notice in football games, that the one who strikes the second blow often gets the penalty even though he didn’t start the conflict.
Be quick to apologize. I try, and sometimes I fail. So I have learned how to apologize for my mistakes
Never show your anger publicly. The bible advises us in Ephesians 4:26, “Be angry, and sin not.” Publicly berating someone never heals and always hurts.
Reward faithfulness openly. Affirm others. Honor and thank God publicly for what others do in the ministry.
Give others credit and accept none. Of course, we never accept any of God’s glory. But it is appropriate to honor others when they have worked hard, faithfully serving the Lord.
Heal the hurt when someone is wounded. I never take Monday off because it is the day I gather up all the hurts that may have been caused on Sunday and seek to heal them.
Walk slowly through the crowd. Years ago, I caught myself shaking hands with one person while looking past that person to the next in an earnest attempt to see everyone. As a result, I missed giving my attention to the one right in front of me. Now I give each person I encounter my attention and look them in the eye.
Let others save face. A business man once said to me, “Sometimes a relationship is more important than being right.” A relationship is more important than being right, winning an argument or proving a point.
Always befriend the little person. Those that seem insignificant and unimportant – be their friend.
Make all the friends you can on the way up because you may need them on the way down. When you are in a position to give, do so. There will come a day when you need to receive, and those that have received from you in the past will minister to your need.
Keep all the cards on the table. When people know that you are transparent, they will trust you. Remember, you have nothing to fear, nothing to hide and nothing to lose. The love of Christ has conquered your fear. When you confess your sins, you come clean and are forgiven. And since you have lost your life in Christ and know that everything belongs to Him, no one can take anything from you.
Lead by example. Paul said to follow his example. If chairs need to be put up after a service, be right in the middle helping your people.
Be predictable. Let your people know what to expect of you. Don’t preach on money when you’ve told your people to bring the unsaved. Keep a schedule so people know where you are and how to contact you.
Believe in people. expect that your people will do something great for God.
Be transparent and vulnerable. Let people know that you are human and have real feelings and a real life.
Have a certain mystique about you. People do not need to know and understand everything about you. Mystique happens when a pastor spends time alone with God, getting to know His will and hearing His voice.
Be able to identify with your people. Understand what your people are going through and the demands upon their lives.
A leader must be able to relate to his people, to love them and to care for them. Love covers a multitude of sins – especially in a ministers own life. Amen!
Taken from Tommy Barnett’s book intitled Multiplication, published by Creation House.
