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The Ten Habits Of Highly Healthy Homes
Lesson 10: Discover Real Contentment
Exodus 20:17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.
Some time ago, Milton Bradley released a game called “Mall Madness.” It’s a board game similar to Monopoly. Here’s their description: “Will you be the first to lose your money? You are let loose in a shopping mall with $200. Go to it and spend it all. Empty your pockets first and you will win the game. When you’ve spent every cent, your marker moves triumphantly into the winner’s space labeled ‘broke’ and you win!” The game even features an electronic voice that announces sales and clearances, and credit cards so you can plunge yourself into debt.
A recent survey of female teenagers discovered that 93% of them said their number one favorite pastime was shopping. Sorry guys, it beat out dating by a long shot! One husband said, “If my wife doesn’t go out shopping at least three times a week, I send her a get-well card.”
Today, we’re going to talk about contentment and its negative counterpart: coveting. Coveting is a word that isn’t used much anymore, but we encounter its effects hundreds of times a day in our materialistic society.
Did you know that Sunday shopping begins next weekend in Saint John, purportedly to make it easier for people to get their Christmas shopping done; in August? Merchants say that Sunday shopping doesn’t add to sales, it just spreads them out over one more day. Retail employees almost unanimously hate losing their only day off. But there is pressure from a select group of consumers who want to be able to buy whenever the urge hits them, be it on Sunday or in the middle of the night.
Never before have people been as “pushed to possess” as we are. Marketing research is a billion-dollar-a-year business. Thousands of people spend forty hours a week designing ways to trigger our buying mechanisms, using music, images, slogans, fear, nostalgia, pride, jealousy, even sex to attract our attention. Their ultimate goal, though, is to impair our self-control just long enough for us to decide that we simply “must have” their product. They’re trying to make us covet!
According to the Educational Forum (Winter 1996), “The typical [North American] consumer is the recipient of 3,000 advertisements daily. The general message in this merchandising is that all of our problems can be solved immediately by the consumption of the proper product.”
Our culture actually discourages the idea of contentment. People are continually bombarded with the message, “What you have isn’t enough. You need more. A bigger house, a better car, a larger salary, whiter teeth, fresher breath, nicer clothes, etc. etc.” The list is endless! But there are no surveys indicating that people are any happier with more stuff! One interviewer asked several instant millionaires, “How many of you are happier today?” Not one responded positively. One winner replied, “Every time you get something nicer, it isn’t good enough, because you see and want something even nicer.”
What Is Coveting? Coveting is the uncontrolled desire to acquire.
The impulse for wanting is a very necessary part of being human. Without this particular form of energy, people would be inactive and unmotivated. However, it is also true that human nature desires more than it needs. Animals and plants function automatically to take from their environment only what they need to survive. There are clear limits to their acquisitions, dictated by instinct. But not so with human beings!
When a journalist asked the late John D. Rockefeller how much wealth was enough, the millionaire, who was at the time one of the richest and most powerful men in the world, answered, “Just a little more.”
Coveting is serious business with God, because it is one of the most complex and grievous of sins. The Bible lists it with vile passions, and warns that unrepented covetousness will exclude a person from heaven.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10
9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
Coveting is what you might call a “seed sin”, because it can quickly lead to other sins. In fact, the Bible tells us that coveting was the original sin behind the fall of man…
Genesis 3:6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.
Both the Old and New Testaments point out that coveting is the root of many forms of sin, including lying, theft, domestic troubles, murder, lust, greed, envy, and jealousy. These are all manifestations of desire that has run amok. Does this really happen? Read the news!
On September 9, 1996, Wanda Holloway pled no contest to solicitation of capital murder. All she wanted was for her teenage daughter to achieve her dream of becoming a cheerleader. But Mrs. Holloway actually paid a hit man to kill Verna Heath, the mother of her daughter’s chief rival for the coveted position on the cheerleading squad, using diamond earrings as a down payment. By the time she pled no contest to the crime, Wanda had already spent 6 years of a 15-year sentence in prison. Legally, Wanda Holloway is guilty of solicitation of capital murder. Morally, she is guilty of coveting. Mrs. Holloway determined to get what she wanted for her daughter even if it meant selling her own soul. (HBO made this into a COMEDY called “The Positively True Adventures of the Alleged Texas Cheerleader-Murdering Mom”)
One student at Harvard University coveted a particular roommate so badly that when she was rebuffed, she stabbed the young woman 45 times before hanging herself.
According to the US Department of Labor, homicide is now the second leading cause of death in the workplace. A number of such murders are committed by employees exacting revenge after being passed over for a promotion they coveted. Vince Foster, President Bill Clinton’s boyhood friend and deputy legal counsel, committed suicide early in Clinton’s first term during the “Travelgate” scandal, in which innocent employees of the White House Travel Office were unjustly fired because powerful Clinton friends coveted the lucrative business for their own company. Foster’s body was found in Ft. Marcy Park on the shores of the Potomac River on July 20, 1993. Several days later, a torn note was discovered in his briefcase with what appeared to be talking points on how to explain the Travelgate controversy to the media. The note ended with this lamentation: “I was never meant for the spotlight of public life. Here ruining people is considered sport.”
The Hebrew word for covet in this command is CHAMAD, which means “to desire with the intent to own something that can never be rightfully yours.” That’s why the commandment specifies your neighbor’s house, wife, etc. There are some things that you can never legitimately possess. Every adulterous affair is rooted in covetousness, which is, in its simplest form; wanting something at someone else’s expense.
Coveting is a powerful and underestimated sin that can cripple you spiritually and ultimately destroy you, and yet it is hard in our culture to be content with what you have!
1 Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
Five Effects Of Always Wanting More
- 1. Fatigue
In our push to get more, we overwork ourselves and take on second jobs. Everybody in the family works just to keep up in the material rat-race. As a result, everyone is tired and cranky.
Proverbs 23:4 Labour not to be rich: cease from thine own wisdom.
- 2. Debt
Coveting wreaks havoc with budgets. We think the problem is that we don’t make enough, but the real problem is just that we want too much. The average North American puts $1300 on credit for every $1000 he makes; that’s called deficit spending and the only people who can get away with that are called government officials! (And they can’t get away with it forever!)
A lot of what we call need is really just greed! The tenth commandment deals directly with the problem we have today of distinguishing between needs and wants (“keeping up with the Joneses”). We spend money we don’t have to buy things we don’t need to impress people we don’t even like! If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you can bet the water bill is higher over there, too!
Ecclesiastes 5:11 When goods increase, they are increased that eat them: and what good is there to the owners thereof, saving the beholding of them with their eyes?
- 3. Worry
The more you have, the more you have to worry about: How am I going to protect it, save it, invest it, insure it, repair it, maintain it, avoid taxes on it, keep from losing it?
The higher you rise on the corporate ladder, the more likely you are to bring work and job frustrations home with you and stress out about it. One study said insomnia increases with income.
Ecclesiastes 5:12 The sleep of a labouring man is sweet, whether he eat little or much: but the abundance of the rich will not suffer him to sleep.
- 4. Conflict
There is no place harder hit by covetousness than the home! The number one cause of divorce is financial tension; arguments over money and possessions. Conflict comes when we’re always wanting more. And the children always suffer the most!
James 4:1 From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?
- 5. Dissatisfaction
Things can bring happiness for a while, but the excitement soon wears off and we get bored. Why don’t things keep you permanently happy? Because things don’t change. But human beings are constantly changing (just look at fashion and style!).
Pretty soon we have to redecorate, remodel, repair, replace, or at least rearrange! How many of you are still thrilled about the Christmas gift you got last year? How many of you even remember the Christmas gift you got last year?
Ecclesiastes 5:10 He that loveth silver shall not be satisfied with silver; nor he that loveth abundance with increase: this is also vanity.
The Antidote To Coveting
The antidote to coveting is contentment, and contentment is something you have to learn; it does not come naturally or automatically. None of us are by nature a contented person!
Philippians 4:11-13
11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Paul “learned” through his experiences that contentment is not related to our circumstances! Contentment is not passive or lazy; it’s not the absence of ambition. Instead, contentment means that at every stage of your life your happiness is measured by an appreciation for what you have, and not postponed by dwelling on an inventory of what you are missing.
Three Ways To Conquer Coveting
- 1. Resist comparing myself to others.
Comparing always leads to coveting! If you’re comparing yourself with others, God says that you just create dissatisfaction within. One of the greatest lessons you can ever learn is to be able to admire without having to acquire. If the only things in life you enjoy are the things you own, you’re going to be miserable a lot of your life, because you can’t own everything.
Why do we constantly compare? Because the way we “keep score” in our society is by possessions. We’re insecure, so we’re always looking around and asking, “How am I doing compared to…?” But net worth has absolutely no relation to self worth.
2 Corinthians 10:12 For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.
You can be possessed by your possessions, sacrificing values, morals, integrity, even relationships, just to obtain more things.
1 Timothy 6:9 But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition.
When you can truly enjoy the success, happiness, and blessings of others, you know you are on the right track. But when you feel resentment, you are ensnared by the sin of covetousness.
Ahab coveted Naboth’s, David coveted Uriah’s wife, Saul coveted David’s popularity, Miriam coveted Moses’ ministry. What do you covet?
Proverbs 14:30 A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.
- 2. Rejoice in what I do have.
None of us would have anything if it were not for the goodness of God. He wants us to enjoy what He has given to us! (Think of how you feel as a parent when your children enjoy what you give them.)
Ecclesiastes 5:19 Every man also to whom God hath given riches and wealth, and hath given him power to eat thereof, and to take his portion, and to rejoice in his labour; this is the gift of God.
Some people fall into the trap of “when and then” thinking, which says, “When I get… then I’ll be happy.” But that’s faulty logic, because things never satisfy! What are you waiting for to make you happy? You’re falling into the trap of covetousness!
You are as happy as you want to be! Happiness is not getting whatever you want, it is enjoying whatever you have. One of the marks of maturity is being able to say, “Enough is enough.” There are two ways to have enough in life: get more or want less.
Ecclesiastes 6:9 Better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of the desire: this is also vanity and vexation of spirit.
- 3. Release what I have to help others.
God doesn’t want to just bless you for your own benefit. He wants you to share your blessings to help others. He’s watching you to see what you give away.
1 Timothy 6:17-19
17 Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy;
18 That they do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate;
19 Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life.
This verse is talking to those who are rich; that’s US! North Americans are in the top 2% of income in the world; even if you’re on social assistance in Canada, you’re RICH! Is it possible to be rich and not be materialistic? Yes, because materialism is an attitude, not an amount. To avoid it, we need to do what Paul said: don’t become proud of our wealth, don’t put our trust in money, use our money to do good, and give happily. Giving is the cure for materialism!
Acts 20:35 I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.
Everything earthly is temporary. We must give our attention to permanent values and reorganize our lives around eternal priorities!
2 Corinthians 4:18 While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.
The worst thing about materialism is that it clouds our vision of God, and we begin to think that all there really is to life is getting and enjoying things. Our perspective gets warped.
At a funeral in Beverly Hills, CA people were gathered around the casket of a wealthy widow who was worth millions. One person said, “It’s so sad; she had so much to live for.” The person standing next to them said, “No, she had so much to live on; she had nothing to live for.” What are you living for?
Luke 12:15 And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.
I challenge you to challenge the myth that says having more will make you happier! You have to make the choice: is my lifestyle going to be determined by culture or by Christ? What’s really important in light of eternity? What do I talk about the most? What do I spend the most time on? What am I really living for? Break the grip of materialism!
The Last Commandment
Why is the sin of covetousness mentioned last in God’s Ten Commandments? Perhaps because this last sin is capable of producing the downward slippery slope that leads to any of the first nine sins. Virtually all sins begin with this one!
When we covet, we are questioning God’s fairness in our lives, and demonstrating a lack of faith in Him. The tenth commandment is the final exclamation point on the first commandment; let God be God!
One day in heaven, somewhere in eternity past, Lucifer coveted God’s position and sought to take it for himself. He failed then, but now attempts to do the same thing through encouraging mankind to sin and become gods unto themselves. That’s the wrong kind of coveting!
But the Bible teaches us that God wants us to covet some things with a passion; this is the kind of desire that makes life worthwhile! And this right kind of coveting does not take from or diminish anyone else. In fact, others benefit when we covet the things of God!
Psalm 27:4 One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in his temple.
