The Pastoral Paradox

Paradox - "A statement seemingly absurd or self- contradictory, but really founded in truth."

Being a Pastor or Christian leader is not easy. Whoever said it was, was lying. Being a Pastor or Minister is rewarding and satisfying, but it is not easy.

The part that is not easy for me is when I do good for someone and they turn against me. It knocks me back a step when someone who I have really bent over backwards to help, lies against me or without gratitude, throws "it" all in my face. If you've ministered for more than 1 year, I'm sure you will be able to relate. If you've ministered for 10 years, you could probably write a book on the subject.

One thing they never taught us in Bible College was how to take a direct hit in the chops and keep a smile. Don't you just love getting bawled out by someone in the office, 10 minutes before service. It's not easy getting up in front of your church to preach a positive message after an encounter like that. But we do it anyway! Why? Because that's who we are. That's what we do. We are Ministers. We do good when people hurt us. What a Paradox!

If You Chase Two Rabbits

“If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one.” I found this old Russian proverb in the early pages of a recent book written by Gary Keller.  The title of this book, “The One Thing” jumped out at me above all the other titles on the shelf.  This concept of One Thing is totally foreign to me.  I have always thought myself quite adept at doing several things at one time.  I have done it all my life.  I learned this early in my working career.  In fact, the manager of the McDonalds restaurant where I found my first job told me, “The one thing you will learn and take with you from this job is the ability to do many things at one time.” It was not long before I learned first hand what he was talking about.  Since that day to this, I can rarely remember doing only one thing at a time.

There is in me a drive that feels like I am not being productive unless I am accomplishing several things at once.  Rarely do I ever do “One Thing”.  According to Keller’s book, doing more than One Thing is usually not the most productive or profitable way to conduct oneself. This book has some incredible insight as to how to stay on track and build momentum towards your goals, but for many of us preachers, doing more than one thing at a time is a way of life that we are unable to change. 

Most Pastors and ministers of the Gospel have families and ministries as well as secular jobs or businesses.  This creates a constant pulling in different directions that leaves us feeling tired, confused and even guilty that we are unable to accomplish all that we want to do in any of these areas.  We endlessly wrestle with our time constraints as well as our energy levels for each of these.

It would be very nice to do only One Thing Mr. Keller, but for the average preacher out there, this prospect of staying focused, is probably going to be a challenge for us beyond the pages of your book. 

Back Row Bullies

They may not sit in the back row.  In fact many times they sit closest to the front.  Most would say they are “Faithful” as they seldom miss a service.  They appear to be the backbone of the church.  They pay their tithes.  They dress right.  They look right, but once you really get to know them, you find that they are the Back Row Bullies of the church.

These people all too often run the church.  They decide who is going to do what.  They decide how loud the music is and what color the walls of the sanctuary are going to be.  Little happens in the church that they don’t know about and don’t in some great way influence the out come of.  Theirs is a mission.  Theirs is a job that nobody else will do.  Without them they know that the church would fall apart.   They are the Back Row Bullies.

No one is quite sure how they gained such influence.  Maybe it has to do with the amount of money they gave at one time or even still.  They may have family within the church whom they have great influence over.  Their measure of sacrifice is probably great, but nonetheless, they are Back Row Bullies.

We all know what a bully is.  It’s someone who pushes their weight/influence/resources around to cause you to do something you would not ordinarily do.  Let me break that down a bit.  You ordinarily would not put up with someone creating division in the church behind your back, but since they give so much money…  You otherwise would not allow them to have the position in the church that they have, but because their influence over so many in the church is strong… 

The Solution To Your Problem

Problems. If you're going to work with or minister to people, you are going to have problems. Sometimes big problems. Moses was one person in the scripture who had people problems. Millions of them. Everywhere he looked - people problems. How to feed them. How to water their livestock. How to settle their petty problems. How to settle their big problems. Where do the tents go? How about the toilets. Everywhere problems.

Surely with all these problems, the solution must be complex. Big problems should mean big, intricate, thoroughly researched and analyzed solutions - right? Not necessarily. In fact, very often, the solution to one's problem is asymmetric to the problem itself. Big problem, small solution.

When our problem is large or complex, we too often feel that the solution has to be the same. Because of this we usually miss the obvious, simple answer. In Moses' case, it took his shepherd father-in-law's simple mind to figure it out. A shepherd understands that a flock can get too big. When it does, it can begin to overgraze the fields and ruin the good pastures. This simple sheepherder was not educated by the most learned teachers of Egypt as Moses was, but he did understand something about having too many sheep in one place. He knew that when you have more sheep in a field than what that field can contain, you have to hire an under-shepherd to take part of the flock to another field. With that elementary laymen's thinking Moses was able to correct very simply, the extremely complex dilemma the nation of Israel had found herself in. Jethro told Moses to break the number of people down into smaller segments and then place leaders over these small segments. How simple.

The biggest problems that your ministry is facing today probably could very well be corrected with a simple solution. Too often however, we go shopping for the big answer: The complex answer. The expensive answer. The time consuming answer. Here's why: We focus on the negative instead of the positive. Seriously, nearly everyone does. Did you know that in the English language, 62 percent of the "emotion" words are negative, vs 38 percent that are positive. A group of psychologists once reviewed over two hundred articles and concluded that for a wide range of human behavior and perception, a general principle holds true: "Bad is stronger than good." Ask yourself, do you remember more of the bad that you hear about others or do you remember more of the good. A vastly larger audience of people remembers the bad instead of the good.

Where To Look For Leadership In Your Church

One of the biggest problems in many of our churches is a lack of leadership.  Where do you find people who have leadership abilities?

"You don't have to bring in a hireling to find leadership in your church…the person you are looking for might be closer than you think."

People who have displayed faithfulness in small things.   He might be the usher who is constantly faithful to the duties of ushering.  Don't leave that person doing the same thing for 30 years because they do it so well.  Move them into areas of leadership.

Look for people who worship well and who love their pastor.  You might think they have no leadership ability, and they may not.  But their love for God and their Pastor will give them the zeal they will need to learn how to lead from you.

Working As A Team

At a Midwestern Fair, spectators gathered for an old fashioned horse pull. The Grand-champion horse pulled a sled with 4,500 pounds on it. The runner up was close, with a 4,400 pound pull. Some of the men wondered what the two horses would pull if hitched together. Separately they totaled nearly 9,000 pounds, but when hitched and working together as a team, they pulled a total weight of over 12,000 pounds.

Herein lies the value of team work. There is some kind of energy that is exchanged when someone feels that there is someone working with them.

I read somewhere a while back of a ward in a particular hospital for premature babies. In one case there was an infant who was several months premature. The mother and father had abandoned the baby at the hospital and it looked as though the child would die. The doctors and nurses did everything they could to care for it, but in all that they did, it grew weaker. In a last ditch effort, one nurse had the idea to place another healthier infant in the same bed as the weak infant. She made sure that the two children were close and touching at all times. Immediately upon feeling the touch of the stronger infant, the weaker one's heart rate began to get stronger and stronger. After several days of touching and being touched by the stronger infant, the preemie became stronger and soon was able to eat on it's own and became healthy.

As leaders, I believe it is paramount that we understand the value of the existent and potential leaders around us. Moses was a man who tried to do everything by himself. He was someone who felt that if God called him to a task, then God would give him the supernatural strength to complete the task. Moses also found out that he was wrong in his assumption.

Moses' father in-law on the other hand, was someone who saw untapped leadership resources everywhere he looked. So, he suggested that Moses find, recruit and train other leaders to assist him in his leadership responsibilities. Once Moses did this, he was not only able to sleep at night, but the needs of Israel were met.

Jesus hardly started His ministry before he chose out 12 men to train in leadership. He understood multiplication instead of addition. Rather than build the church on one man's shoulders, he chose to build it on 13. His and 12 others. As a result of this, when His own life and ministry was ending, 11 others were just beginning. The beauty of the situation was that not one of them detracted from his own ministry, but rather added to it.

What’s the holdup?

Here’s a line you can use while waiting in line at the local gas station, but never at the local bank.  Not too long ago while standing in line waiting to cash my check at my bank, a gentleman at the window next to me began to grow impatient with the banks teller.  A bit angrily he asked her “What’s the holdup?”  Needless to say, all the banks employees immediately looked alarmed and worried.  They did not hear the entire question the man asked, all they heard was the word “holdup”.  You can imagine why the bank’s employees became alarmed when the word holdup was used in this setting.  Especially when used with a bit of anger.

What’s the holdup?  What’s stopping your church from having revival?  What’s keeping your ministry from fulfilling its vision?  What obstacles stand in your way?

We oftentimes say we're waiting on God in certain situations.  We say things like, “It will happen in God’s timing.”  or “We’re just waiting on God.”   In reality however, God is most often waiting on us.  He is not a God who is late or tardy.  He’s not so busy that He barely has enough time to get everything done that He needs to do in the course of a day.  His calendar is not so full that He has to cancel appointments at the last minute or push your needs off to another day in order to meet somebody else’s needs.

He is all sufficient.  He’s always on time.  His resources never run out.  He created time, so time is not a problem for Him.  He created the heavens and the earth, so resources are never an issue for Him.  His ways are above our ways. His understanding goes beyond human reason. 

God is not the source of delay.  It’s important for us to understand that at no point since His death on the cross has God delayed any good thing.  He is not the reason your church is not having revival today.  He is not the reason visitors do not attend your church.  It is not His desire that any in your city, town, hamlet, village, neighborhood, or family should perish.  It is His complete desire that they would come to the knowledge of full Truth.   He wants them to join your church.  His complete desire is that every man woman boy and girl in your city would be in church worshiping Him and hearing His Word this Sunday morning.

If God’s perfect will were performed this Sunday morning, there is no way possible that your church could contain the kind of growth that God would give it.  The exponential explosion of growth that your church would experience if God’s will were accomplished, would blow the minds of every evangelist, visionary, and revivalist.

The Work Of The Connector

In his book, The Turning Point, Malcolm Gladwell describes the work of the connector.  The connectors he explains are important to social epidemics.  The reason why a new restaurant would become the new hotspot in the community might well depend a great deal on the work of the connector.  You see, a connector is the person in the market place who tells all their friends about the great deal they just got at Wall Mart.  Or the fantastic food they ate at a new restaurant.  Every church has connectors in them.

I have identified my wife as being a connector.  Should Natalie find a bargain at say Wall Mart, she will immediately call her mother and sister on the phone and them about the great deal and why they should head over to Wall Mart as soon as they get off work.   My wife is a connector.  She loves telling people about everything from the newest restaurant, to the store who has a sale on paper napkins.

My life was changed by a connector.  I was 17 years old when I came into contact with this person.  95% of the relationships I have today are a direct result of this one connector in my life.  Mike was his name.  Had this person never told me about and invited me to his church, I never would have met most of the people who I now know as my close friends and colleagues.  He was not a preacher.  He was a connector.

Something excited him about his church and he could not help himself to share it with someone else.  Mike is not an orator.  He is not a teacher of God’s word.  But he connected me to the people who would eventually change my life. 

We all have had the work of a connector in our lives.  They introduced us to the church.  They introduced us to our spouse.  They told us the kind of car we should buy.  They work behind the scenes to promote projects, products and agendas and they do it every day without pay or recognition.  You might say it’s their personality.  I would say it’s more of an obsession with some people.

My wife can’t help herself.  She has to share her good fortune.  I have told her in the past to keep some bargains to herself.  Like the beautiful new dress she just got off a clearance rack for a few bucks.  I tell her let people think you paid a little something for it, but no, she has to tell the world where they can get the same deal.  She loves to be the connector.

Are You Ready For Your Healing?

We live in a world that needs healing.  We are surrounded by people who need healing.  The pain of this healing is manifold.  It comes from the past.  It comes from the present.  It is physical.  It is emotional.  It is spiritual.  It is mental.  Some of these people have received a bad report from the doctor and are desperate for a miracle.  Physical injuries of every kind have left others maimed or crippled to the point that they struggle to accomplish even the smallest of tasks.  Many others are victims of childhood abuses and neglect that have crippled them emotionally and mentally as adults.

These people encircle our churches.  They are our members.  They are our neighbors.  They are the people we bump into at the grocery store and places where we do business.  We speak to them on our jobs.  We speak to them on the streets.  Every day of our lives we are in constant contact with individuals who desperately need a healing of some sort in their life.

But healing does not come.  The pain does not subside.  The inner and outer suffering is constant and there is oftentimes no help from doctors, psychologists, counselors or even the ministry.

This is very sad, especially when you consider that many people spend their entire lives and fortunes seeking the healing they need.

Just because a person is a member of a church and filled with God’s Spirit does not mean they are not still suffering as the world does.  Oftentimes, a person can sit in a church pew their entire lives, and many of them never do completely open up and let God heal the wounds of their heart and mind.  Others still are struggling with the news they just received from the doctors.  Panic, fear and despair all attack these sweet people as the realization sets into their minds that they may not have long to live or that their malady is something that cannot be healed by the doctors.

For many, the doctors and specialist have done all they can do.  Help is not eminent.  The suffering is going to continue.  Pain, of the heart and mind and throughout the body, is all they have to look forward to.  Fear, panic, worry, and anxiety of every kind is constant and is not promised to end.

But God asks the question, “Are You Ready For Your Healing?”

Why does it seem that God heals some and not others?