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There are two essential elements of community. Interpersonal commitments and A sense of belonging. True community needs both of these elements in operation. Without interpersonal commitments, a sense of belonging would soon be lost as a sense of belonging is derived from and is a result of the interpersonal commitments. Did I loose you there? Ok, let me break it down.
Bob joins a new church. He is warmly welcomed. He soon receives salvation. Bob likes the people and enjoys what he feels in the church. However, as time goes on, Bob soon realizes that since his only real commitment is to come to church, worship and give in the offerings, his commitment level is not very deep. In fact, if Bob only develops a deep relationship with the pastor there, then the Pastor is Bob’s only real reason for staying there. What happens however, when Bob gets upset at the pastor? What happens if the pastor resigns? You and I know what happens, Bob soon leaves. However, what would happen if Bob were was interconnected in a deep level of community or fellowship with 10-12 other people within the church? (Small Group) What if it were possible that Bob could get upset with the Pastor, yet his love for and interconnectedness with these other 10-12 were so deep that he would stay?
Relationships are powerful.
A good relationship will build a person up and a bad relationship has the potential to destroy someone. We often fail to realize the value of relationships within the church. We exhaust ourselves with evangelistic efforts and get so excited over the sudden growth or influx of visitors. Yet we then often fail to get those new people into bonding relationships within the church and soon lose them. What we end up with is a person who is easily offended and will have nothing or nobody to stand in their way of an exodus.
I have actually heard pastors say a key to keeping someone is to find them something to do in the church. “Make him an usher.” “Let her teach Sunday school.” What happens then when we find that this person was not so qualified to teach that class? What happens when we have to remove them from the position we gave them. This position may be the main thing or the only thing binding them to the Church. (Don’t negate that statement. If you look around your church you will find people whose only connection to the church is their position or role.) I’ll tell you what happens. They leave. Why do they leave? It is because you took away from them the only thing that bound them to the congregation.
Relationships and not jobs or job titles are the most valuable and most bonding element for converts.
Jesus understood this. Notice in the whole 3 years He discipled the 12, he never did hand out offices or titles. He built relationships. He not only connected them to Himself, but He connected them to one another. Why did he eat at their houses and teach in their homes? He knew that this was the place were deep meningful relationships could be developed.
It is the early relationships in a person’s life that molds their emotional and spiritual make up. A child who is wounded by those relationships will grow up a wounded adult. Relationships give us identity within a unit. They give us purpose and reason for belonging. A bad relationship in a marriage will cause a person to seek ways to leave the marriage. A good relationship in a marriage will cause a person to find ways to improve that relationship. This principle works the same in any case.
Within the church we realize that problems will arise.
Negative personalities and situations within a congregation will work to drive people away or cause them to leave. However those influences will have little effect if the individual is in a deep meaningful relationship with others in the church.
Can I give you an example? I have seen in marriages where a spouse will stay in an adulterous or abusive marriage simply because they do not want to hurt the children. We would all agree that this marriage should remain, but notice the reason many people stay in an abusive and unfaithful situation, it is for the children. The person has other relationships within the marriage that cause them to “stick it out”. They are interconnected within the family to other people than the one who is the offender.
For this reason it is imperative that we labor as hard at building relationships within the church as we do at evangelizing.
Opps, I just lost someone there. I went too fast. Ok, let me ask you something. What kind of a society would we have if women became impregnated and in 9 months gave birth to a child that they never did raise? As a matter of fact, the child never did even know its father. No brothers. No sisters. We just threw them out into society to be raised by and reared up by who ever and what ever came alone. You and I know that this would breed a dysfunctional person and ultimately one messed up society. Yet we somehow believe that the church can become impregnated with revival, give birth to souls and then not give those people bonding relationships that connect them to the family unit that is the church.
It is not enough to teach someone a bible study, baptize them and see them filled with the Holy Ghost.
I wish it were. That is fairly easy. In this, God is doing most of the work. We simply teach the person and pray with them. No really love relationship is necessary. But a relationship takes work. It takes commitment. It brings us to a place with our brother or sister where we have to work threw some things rather than just write each other off. It gives significance to Jesus’ statement when he said the world would know we are His disciples because we have Love one for another. Notice he did not say we would have a casual commitment with these people, but we would have a Love for them.
Small Groups offer to the church the mechanism needed to create and maintain genuine Love relationships. Within a small group these relationships work together to reinforce the teachings of the church as well as bind the person to the family unit that is the local church.
Other articles you might like

Why Are Small Groups So Successful?
The institution that is the home, is under attack. (I will leave out all the gory statistics.) Lifestyles that are illicit, abusive, negligent, are too often, lived out in the home. If ever there was a place I believe the Holy Spirit would want to go, it would be these homes. In the Gospels, you find over and over, Jesus inviting himself into people’s homes. Look at what happened when Jesus invited Himself to Zacceous’s home. Immediately, the man began repenting of his sin and promised to make his wrongs right.
I’m really not convinced that the New Testament church is supposed to have a central church building. (I’m glad we do.) It appears that the Holy Ghost was quite capable of falling on people when they met in their homes with their Oikos to pray and worship. In fact it is the home, He desires and needs to heal. The greatest needs in the world whether social or religious, are needs that can and should first be met in the home. When you study some of the wicked men/women in history, you will find that the home they grew up in was dysfunction at best.
Over and over again, Small Group churches see whole families instead of just individuals come into the church. We are hearing of spouses who have never come to church, but are now involved in church services because a Small Group meeting was held in their home and they stayed to “check it out”....
[ read more...]
Why Are Small Groups So Successful?
The institution that is the home, is under attack. (I will leave out all the gory statistics.) Lifestyles that are illicit, abusive, negligent, are too often, lived out in the home. If ever there was a place I believe the Holy Spirit would want to go, it would be these homes. In the Gospels, you find over and over, Jesus inviting himself into people’s homes. Look at what happened when Jesus invited Himself to Zacceous’s home. Immediately, the man began repenting of his sin and promised to make his wrongs right.
I’m really not convinced that the New Testament church is supposed to have a central church building. (I’m glad we do.) It appears that the Holy Ghost was quite capable of falling on people when they met in their homes with their Oikos to pray and worship. In fact it is the home, He desires and needs to heal. The greatest needs in the world whether social or religious, are needs that can and should first be met in the home. When you study some of the wicked men/women in history, you will find that the home they grew up in was dysfunction at best.
Over and over again, Small Group churches see whole families instead of just individuals come into the church. We are hearing of spouses who have never come to church, but are now involved in church services because a Small Group meeting was held in their home and they stayed to “check it out”....
[ read more...]
The Three Longest Words in the Bible
When we submit to God's will for our lives, and put our hand in His hand, He does the leading. And sometimes before we get to the place that He has called us to go, he brings us to another place to teach us valuable lessons. To show us that whenever we do get to where He's leading us that He will be able to sustain us. He calls us to a certain city. He calls us to a certain country. He calls us to a certain ministry. We know that He has called us and we even know where He has called us to. We know that He has plans for us. But it's taking a little long to come to pass. We know that blessings are in store. He has promised us certain things. They just haven't come to pass yet. We know that we are supposed to wait on the promises of the Lord. But we get antsy. We start questioning God. Am I really called to this place? Am I still in the will of God? What am I doing here? How much longer? How long are you going to have me stay here Lord?.....
[ read more...]
The Three Longest Words in the Bible
When we submit to God's will for our lives, and put our hand in His hand, He does the leading. And sometimes before we get to the place that He has called us to go, he brings us to another place to teach us valuable lessons. To show us that whenever we do get to where He's leading us that He will be able to sustain us. He calls us to a certain city. He calls us to a certain country. He calls us to a certain ministry. We know that He has called us and we even know where He has called us to. We know that He has plans for us. But it's taking a little long to come to pass. We know that blessings are in store. He has promised us certain things. They just haven't come to pass yet. We know that we are supposed to wait on the promises of the Lord. But we get antsy. We start questioning God. Am I really called to this place? Am I still in the will of God? What am I doing here? How much longer? How long are you going to have me stay here Lord?.....
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It's Called Character
Based on surveys of more than 15,000 people, the following traits were selected as the key to effective leadership:
· Being honest – 87%
· Being forward-looking – 71%
· Being inspirational – 68%
· Being competent – 58%
- Honest people have credibility – and that’s what gives leaders the trust and confidence of their people. High credibility leaders foster such things as greater pride in the organization, a stronger spirit of cooperation and teamwork, and more feelings of ownership and personal responsibility. What are some of the other characteristics of credible leaders?
- They do what they say they will do. They keep their promises and follow through on their commitments.
- Their actions are consistent with the wishes of the people they lead. They have a clear idea of what others value and what they can do.

It's Called Character
Based on surveys of more than 15,000 people, the following traits were selected as the key to effective leadership:
· Being honest – 87%
· Being forward-looking – 71%
· Being inspirational – 68%
· Being competent – 58%
- Honest people have credibility – and that’s what gives leaders the trust and confidence of their people. High credibility leaders foster such things as greater pride in the organization, a stronger spirit of cooperation and teamwork, and more feelings of ownership and personal responsibility. What are some of the other characteristics of credible leaders?
- They do what they say they will do. They keep their promises and follow through on their commitments.
- Their actions are consistent with the wishes of the people they lead. They have a clear idea of what others value and what they can do.

Small Groups - My Passion
Small Groups (Home Friendship Groups/Cell ministry), are gaining greater and greater interest as we hear the success stories from those who have ventured into this ministry. The largest and fastest growing churches in the world are churches with Small Groups.
Many years ago, the Lord began to speak to me about a model of ministry that to my knowledge, no one was doing at that time. (little did I know) Often, I would look over the congregation and notice people who were faithful to church services, but because of a lack of available positions in the church or their inability to find their own personal ministry, they weren't doing much for the Lord. I also noticed that many visitors and new converts were coming into the church and going right back out since they had no one to befriend or disciple them. As much as these churches had great evangelistic efforts, there was no clear cut program or ministry that was designed for the purpose of retaining new converts....
[ read more...]
Small Groups - My Passion
Small Groups (Home Friendship Groups/Cell ministry), are gaining greater and greater interest as we hear the success stories from those who have ventured into this ministry. The largest and fastest growing churches in the world are churches with Small Groups.
Many years ago, the Lord began to speak to me about a model of ministry that to my knowledge, no one was doing at that time. (little did I know) Often, I would look over the congregation and notice people who were faithful to church services, but because of a lack of available positions in the church or their inability to find their own personal ministry, they weren't doing much for the Lord. I also noticed that many visitors and new converts were coming into the church and going right back out since they had no one to befriend or disciple them. As much as these churches had great evangelistic efforts, there was no clear cut program or ministry that was designed for the purpose of retaining new converts....
[ read more...]
Leading Leaders Who Think
One of the challenges all pastors face is leading those who have the same vision you have but don't have the same idea's about accomplishing that vision. I call these people 'thinkers'. Thinkers are good and bad. Every pastor loves to have a group of leaders that agree with everything he says. But there comes a point when that starts working against the pastor.
It is not always healthy to have a ministry team full of 'yes-men.' Most "yes-men" cannot think for themselves. What good are leaders who cannot work situations out? They need instruction for just about everything they do. Some even like to be micro-managed. Pastors cannot afford to be micro-managers, it steals ones time and produces people who cannot make it on their own.....
[ read more...]
Leading Leaders Who Think
One of the challenges all pastors face is leading those who have the same vision you have but don't have the same idea's about accomplishing that vision. I call these people 'thinkers'. Thinkers are good and bad. Every pastor loves to have a group of leaders that agree with everything he says. But there comes a point when that starts working against the pastor.
It is not always healthy to have a ministry team full of 'yes-men.' Most "yes-men" cannot think for themselves. What good are leaders who cannot work situations out? They need instruction for just about everything they do. Some even like to be micro-managed. Pastors cannot afford to be micro-managers, it steals ones time and produces people who cannot make it on their own.....
[ read more...]
Community Through Small Groups
There are two essential elements of community. Interpersonal commitments and A sense of belonging. True community needs both of these elements in operation. Without interpersonal commitments, a sense of belonging would soon be lost as a sense of belonging is derived from and is a result of the interpersonal commitments. Did I loose you there? Ok, let me break it down.
Bob joins a new church. He is warmly welcomed. He soon receives salvation. Bob likes the people and enjoys what he feels in the church. However, as time goes on, Bob soon realizes that since his only real commitment is to come to church, worship and give in the offerings, his commitment level is not very deep. In fact, if Bob only develops a deep relationship with the pastor there, then the Pastor is Bob’s only real reason for staying there. What happens however, when Bob gets upset at the pastor? What happens if the pastor resigns? You and I know what happens, Bob soon leaves. However, what would happen if Bob were was interconnected in a deep level of community or fellowship with 10-12 other people within the church? (Small Group) What if it were possible that Bob could get upset with the Pastor, yet his love for and interconnectedness with these other 10-12 were so deep that he would stay?
Relationships are powerful.
A good relationship will build a person up and a bad relationship has the potential to destroy someone. We often fail to realize the value of relationships within the church. We exhaust ourselves with evangelistic efforts and get so excited over the sudden growth or influx of visitors. Yet we then often fail to get those new people into bonding relationships within the church and soon lose them. What we end up with is a person who is easily offended and will have nothing or nobody to stand in their way of an exodus....
[ read more...]
Community Through Small Groups
There are two essential elements of community. Interpersonal commitments and A sense of belonging. True community needs both of these elements in operation. Without interpersonal commitments, a sense of belonging would soon be lost as a sense of belonging is derived from and is a result of the interpersonal commitments. Did I loose you there? Ok, let me break it down.
Bob joins a new church. He is warmly welcomed. He soon receives salvation. Bob likes the people and enjoys what he feels in the church. However, as time goes on, Bob soon realizes that since his only real commitment is to come to church, worship and give in the offerings, his commitment level is not very deep. In fact, if Bob only develops a deep relationship with the pastor there, then the Pastor is Bob’s only real reason for staying there. What happens however, when Bob gets upset at the pastor? What happens if the pastor resigns? You and I know what happens, Bob soon leaves. However, what would happen if Bob were was interconnected in a deep level of community or fellowship with 10-12 other people within the church? (Small Group) What if it were possible that Bob could get upset with the Pastor, yet his love for and interconnectedness with these other 10-12 were so deep that he would stay?
Relationships are powerful.
A good relationship will build a person up and a bad relationship has the potential to destroy someone. We often fail to realize the value of relationships within the church. We exhaust ourselves with evangelistic efforts and get so excited over the sudden growth or influx of visitors. Yet we then often fail to get those new people into bonding relationships within the church and soon lose them. What we end up with is a person who is easily offended and will have nothing or nobody to stand in their way of an exodus....
[ read more...]
Bi-Vocational Ministry - The Need to Refuel
To avoid burnout one needs to identify ways to refuel the energy expended in their challenging role of bi-vocational ministry. Exercise, proper diet, and adequate rest cannot be over-emphasized for long-term health, stamina, and creativity.
One analogy is that of an automobile over the course of a year. It order to function without failure it needs to visit the occasional gas station, be serviced for lubrication and filter replacements, undergo routine preventive maintenance, be cleaned, have inspections and documentation kept current, and so forth. Just as these things are essential to problem-free automobile service, similar things are essential to problem-free bi-vocational ministry.
A few tips include:
- Block out multiple windows of time for quality family time each week.
- Maintain spontaneity and the capacity to have fun.
- Schedule a vacation or time away from church and work at the same time.
- Leave work at the office. When you come home bring “you” with you.
- Discover ways to expend excess energy, tension, and anxiety......

Bi-Vocational Ministry - The Need to Refuel
To avoid burnout one needs to identify ways to refuel the energy expended in their challenging role of bi-vocational ministry. Exercise, proper diet, and adequate rest cannot be over-emphasized for long-term health, stamina, and creativity.
One analogy is that of an automobile over the course of a year. It order to function without failure it needs to visit the occasional gas station, be serviced for lubrication and filter replacements, undergo routine preventive maintenance, be cleaned, have inspections and documentation kept current, and so forth. Just as these things are essential to problem-free automobile service, similar things are essential to problem-free bi-vocational ministry.
A few tips include:
- Block out multiple windows of time for quality family time each week.
- Maintain spontaneity and the capacity to have fun.
- Schedule a vacation or time away from church and work at the same time.
- Leave work at the office. When you come home bring “you” with you.
- Discover ways to expend excess energy, tension, and anxiety......

How To Gain Loyalty
Some of the things you can do in your own congregation to rectify any lack of loyalty are:
1. Teach the difference between faithfulness and loyalty.
2. Remind your people that, according to their new nature, they already want to be loyal. Unless they are outright rebels, disloyal acts come out of ignorance and/or weakness of the flesh.....
[ read more...]
How To Gain Loyalty
Some of the things you can do in your own congregation to rectify any lack of loyalty are:
1. Teach the difference between faithfulness and loyalty.
2. Remind your people that, according to their new nature, they already want to be loyal. Unless they are outright rebels, disloyal acts come out of ignorance and/or weakness of the flesh.....
[ read more...]
Conducting a Spiritual Audit
Twelve questions to keep your personal accounts in order
- Am I content with who I am becoming? Every day I get one day closer to who I will ultimately be. Am I satisfied with who this will be?
- Am I becoming less religious and more spiritual? The difference: I can control religion, while spirituality controls me.
- Does my family recognize the authenticity of my spirituality? If I am growing spiritually, my family will recognize it.
- Do I have a flow-through philosophy? As a Christian I am to let the blessings flow through me to others.
- Do I have a quiet center to my life? There is an important difference between the fast track and the frantic track. Peace is the evidence of God.....

Conducting a Spiritual Audit
Twelve questions to keep your personal accounts in order
- Am I content with who I am becoming? Every day I get one day closer to who I will ultimately be. Am I satisfied with who this will be?
- Am I becoming less religious and more spiritual? The difference: I can control religion, while spirituality controls me.
- Does my family recognize the authenticity of my spirituality? If I am growing spiritually, my family will recognize it.
- Do I have a flow-through philosophy? As a Christian I am to let the blessings flow through me to others.
- Do I have a quiet center to my life? There is an important difference between the fast track and the frantic track. Peace is the evidence of God.....
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