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How important are relationships anyway? I don’t know about you, but in my life, one of the things that has caused me the most pain, is relationships with other people. The relationship between myself and my parents when I was growing up was a most excruciating experience. I nearly took my own life as an adolescent because of the painful experience of relationships in our home. My brothers and sisters beat up on me and literally tortured my brother and I at times.
I have to admit, my understanding of proper relationships or relationship skills was pretty messed up for almost half of my life. For that matter, even for the last 20 years of ministering to others, I have to admit, I have suffered painfully at the hands of relationships with people. People I have trusted have stolen from me and lied on me. People I have loved, have hated me. People I have helped have turned on me. I don’t know about you, but relationships with other people, have really hurt me.
On the other hand, my relationships with some other people have been my salvation. Had it not been for a relationship with a friend in High School, I may have never been introduced to Christ. My relationship with my Pastor helped mold my character as a young man. My relationship with other ministers has solidified my faith and walk with God. My relationship with other Christians, has renewed my faith in people and allowed me to experience a proper relationship experience. In fact many of the brothers and sisters in the church are closer to me than my own siblings. My relationship with my wife has given me something to work towards every day. My relationship with my children is my passion.
Relationships. A good relationship can make you, but a bad relationship can destroy you. The chance we take to have a good relationship is almost not worth the risk to many people. They have been so hurt by relationships that they choose rather to become introvert and avoid relationships with other people at all costs. Their way of avoiding another painful experience is to avoid all close relationships.
This almost sounds like good rational to me. If you stick your hand into a flame enough times, you will learn by the pain to avoid fire. The problem we run into with this thinking is we are creatures designed to have relationships. It’s in our make up. Our own spiritual DNA shows a need for and desire to have a relationship with God Himself. As well, humans have always grouped together in villages, hamlets and cities – why? There is a human need for relationships. As much as these people don’t talk to the average person on the street, neither would they leave the village to live the life of the hermit who would remove himself from any possibility of relationships with other people.
The church was my salvation in many ways. Most importantly, with regards to relationships. Had it not been for the loving embrace of the church, I would have never learned to trust people. Jesus understood the value of relationships within the church. By becoming flesh and walking among men, He showed an attempt to create relationships with people. His example to us was to become the most powerful force on the planet. The result of His building relationships with the disciples and many others was the establishment of the Church. His commandment to that same church was to build and cultivate relationships with one another and the rest of the world. In fact he told us that our identity with him would be confirmed to a lost world when we showed “Love one toward another”.
In a Small Group church, proper relationships are established and maintained. Many have testified that these relationships have been the source of strength which have helped them maintain a consistent walk with God. Without proper relationships or with only surface relationships, an individual has no real connection with the church body and easily finds reason to leave.
A relationship with a person is powerful. Entering into a good relationship with a person enables you opportunity to affect that person in many ways. In fact you’re allowed, by that person, to express your views, opinions and beliefs. As a result, your bond with them will cause them to assume much of the same belief system as you have.
It is important that the Church look closely at it’s relationship building ministry. Is there such a thing in your church? Do you have a ministry that directly works to build relationships among the members of your church? If not, your people may be missing out on the blessing of having and developing many good relationships within the Body of Christ.
By Rev. James Smith
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A Pure Heart
Matthew 5: Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
“Pure” as it is used here in the original Greek is katharos. Katharos is pronounced Kath-ar-os. It means of uncertain Affinity; clean (literally or figuratively): clean, clear, pure.
Jesus declared to the people that day that if someone was capable of having, keeping or obtaining a pure heart, that they would see God someday.
It is the desire of every believer that, one day, they would see God.
However, the enemy of our souls has a desire too. His desire is to keep us from seeing God. Both in this world and in the next. His attempt is to cause us to lose our pure hearts.
One thing that I have found to be universal amongst new converts/believers is the pure heart that the Lord gives to them.
As newborn babes in Christ, their hearts are open to receive anything that the church has to offer them. They trust the ministry and they trust their newfound church family.
Their hearts are pure. Their motives are pure. Their intensions are pure. They are simply thankful to be saved and are happy and content to be a part of the Family of God...
[ read more...]
A Pure Heart
Matthew 5: Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
“Pure” as it is used here in the original Greek is katharos. Katharos is pronounced Kath-ar-os. It means of uncertain Affinity; clean (literally or figuratively): clean, clear, pure.
Jesus declared to the people that day that if someone was capable of having, keeping or obtaining a pure heart, that they would see God someday.
It is the desire of every believer that, one day, they would see God.
However, the enemy of our souls has a desire too. His desire is to keep us from seeing God. Both in this world and in the next. His attempt is to cause us to lose our pure hearts.
One thing that I have found to be universal amongst new converts/believers is the pure heart that the Lord gives to them.
As newborn babes in Christ, their hearts are open to receive anything that the church has to offer them. They trust the ministry and they trust their newfound church family.
Their hearts are pure. Their motives are pure. Their intensions are pure. They are simply thankful to be saved and are happy and content to be a part of the Family of God...
[ read more...]
It's Not a People Problem - It's a Situation Problem
Often times in ministry we feel that the problems we face in the church are usually people problems. After all we are in the business of ministering to people. So when a problem arises it must be a people problem - right? Not always.
Too often, but thankfully, a problem is not as it seems. It's not ALWAYS a people problem. Let's face it. People problems are a hassle. Dealing with personalities and character flaws is exhausting. Sadly, many Pastors and Ministers simply stop trying to improve the ministry capacity of their congregation simply because they have grown tired of trying to change the behaviors of people to create positive change......
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It's Not a People Problem - It's a Situation Problem
Often times in ministry we feel that the problems we face in the church are usually people problems. After all we are in the business of ministering to people. So when a problem arises it must be a people problem - right? Not always.
Too often, but thankfully, a problem is not as it seems. It's not ALWAYS a people problem. Let's face it. People problems are a hassle. Dealing with personalities and character flaws is exhausting. Sadly, many Pastors and Ministers simply stop trying to improve the ministry capacity of their congregation simply because they have grown tired of trying to change the behaviors of people to create positive change......
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The Dark Side of Spiritual Abuse -- Part 4
Leadership seems to be the buzzword of our times. Bookstores now have multiple rows upon rows of books concerning this particular subject. Some of the content is very good and can help a person to hone their management skills and work toward becoming self-disciplined in a manner that will prove good for the organization that they are serving. I personally have benefited from some of the secular leadership books that I have read over the years. Despite all of these necessary and good resources only a small, in fact, microscopic amount of these books address spiritual issues in the life of the leader.
There aren’t any spiritual leadership concepts given in the books that Jim Collins has written. Patrick Lencioni does not address the spiritual side of a man who wants to build a Fortune 500 company. Peter Drucker’s works have almost elevated him posthumously to an exalted messiah among the leadership gurus of the last century. If we are not careful, there can be a tendency to think that we can build a church the same way that Steve Jobs made Apple successful. Once a spiritual leader buys into that particular idea that he can build a spiritual church with the same techniques that a profit-driven company is built, he deceives himself and he will create spiritual mayhem with the sheep he is meant to feed.....
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The Dark Side of Spiritual Abuse -- Part 4
Leadership seems to be the buzzword of our times. Bookstores now have multiple rows upon rows of books concerning this particular subject. Some of the content is very good and can help a person to hone their management skills and work toward becoming self-disciplined in a manner that will prove good for the organization that they are serving. I personally have benefited from some of the secular leadership books that I have read over the years. Despite all of these necessary and good resources only a small, in fact, microscopic amount of these books address spiritual issues in the life of the leader.
There aren’t any spiritual leadership concepts given in the books that Jim Collins has written. Patrick Lencioni does not address the spiritual side of a man who wants to build a Fortune 500 company. Peter Drucker’s works have almost elevated him posthumously to an exalted messiah among the leadership gurus of the last century. If we are not careful, there can be a tendency to think that we can build a church the same way that Steve Jobs made Apple successful. Once a spiritual leader buys into that particular idea that he can build a spiritual church with the same techniques that a profit-driven company is built, he deceives himself and he will create spiritual mayhem with the sheep he is meant to feed.....
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You First!
Whether you pastor a church or lead a small group, it is critically important to have a plan of action for the growth of your ministry. However, it is a serious error to place the program above the person. You, as the person, must take priority over the program. Your program will only be as successful as you are. Your program will only be as successful as your relationship with Christ. If you make personal growth your priority, church growth will happen out of the excess of what is happening in your own life. Your life will be the example to the people you lead. You will be a living testimony. You will have a story to tell.
It is so much easier to lead people if there is a surplus of energy, ideas and anointing in your own life. Take the time to make personal growth a priority. A Plan of action for personal growth is just as important as a plan of action for church growth.
Three must do's for Personal Growth:
1. Get Into God's Presence.
When the Old Testament priest went beyond the veil into the Holy of Holies he was literally stepping into the presence of God. It was there that God communed with him and spoke to him everything he needed to hear.
Exodus 25:22
22 And there I will meet with thee, and I will commune with thee from above the mercy seat, from between the two cherubims which are upon the ark of the testimony, of all things which I will give thee in commandment unto the children of Israel.
It is a good thing to talk to God every day, but it sure is a lot better when God talks back to us. That's what happens every time we get in His presence. God speaks to us. God communes with us. God tells us everything we need to hear. We must have the voice of God in our life. If we have God's voice in our life, people hear God's voice from us.
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You First!
Whether you pastor a church or lead a small group, it is critically important to have a plan of action for the growth of your ministry. However, it is a serious error to place the program above the person. You, as the person, must take priority over the program. Your program will only be as successful as you are. Your program will only be as successful as your relationship with Christ. If you make personal growth your priority, church growth will happen out of the excess of what is happening in your own life. Your life will be the example to the people you lead. You will be a living testimony. You will have a story to tell.
It is so much easier to lead people if there is a surplus of energy, ideas and anointing in your own life. Take the time to make personal growth a priority. A Plan of action for personal growth is just as important as a plan of action for church growth.
Three must do's for Personal Growth:
1. Get Into God's Presence.
When the Old Testament priest went beyond the veil into the Holy of Holies he was literally stepping into the presence of God. It was there that God communed with him and spoke to him everything he needed to hear.
Exodus 25:22
22 And there I will meet with thee, and I will commune with thee from above the mercy seat, from between the two cherubims which are upon the ark of the testimony, of all things which I will give thee in commandment unto the children of Israel.
It is a good thing to talk to God every day, but it sure is a lot better when God talks back to us. That's what happens every time we get in His presence. God speaks to us. God communes with us. God tells us everything we need to hear. We must have the voice of God in our life. If we have God's voice in our life, people hear God's voice from us.
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The Three Longest Words in the Bible
When we submit to God's will for our lives, and put our hand in His hand, He does the leading. And sometimes before we get to the place that He has called us to go, he brings us to another place to teach us valuable lessons. To show us that whenever we do get to where He's leading us that He will be able to sustain us. He calls us to a certain city. He calls us to a certain country. He calls us to a certain ministry. We know that He has called us and we even know where He has called us to. We know that He has plans for us. But it's taking a little long to come to pass. We know that blessings are in store. He has promised us certain things. They just haven't come to pass yet. We know that we are supposed to wait on the promises of the Lord. But we get antsy. We start questioning God. Am I really called to this place? Am I still in the will of God? What am I doing here? How much longer? How long are you going to have me stay here Lord?.....
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The Three Longest Words in the Bible
When we submit to God's will for our lives, and put our hand in His hand, He does the leading. And sometimes before we get to the place that He has called us to go, he brings us to another place to teach us valuable lessons. To show us that whenever we do get to where He's leading us that He will be able to sustain us. He calls us to a certain city. He calls us to a certain country. He calls us to a certain ministry. We know that He has called us and we even know where He has called us to. We know that He has plans for us. But it's taking a little long to come to pass. We know that blessings are in store. He has promised us certain things. They just haven't come to pass yet. We know that we are supposed to wait on the promises of the Lord. But we get antsy. We start questioning God. Am I really called to this place? Am I still in the will of God? What am I doing here? How much longer? How long are you going to have me stay here Lord?.....
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Guard The Gates - Part 4
I have taken my inspiration from this series from the book written by John Bunyan called The Holy War. The previous messages (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3) were instructional in how we should work to control the gates of our mind. Early in the book, Bunyan introduces us to what he terms the Council of War. At this council, there is a conglomerate of devils that all are sitting down trying to make a determination of how they are going to get into the city of Mansoul to destroy it. There are four schemes that they consider prior to the attack of the city....
[ read more...]
Guard The Gates - Part 4
I have taken my inspiration from this series from the book written by John Bunyan called The Holy War. The previous messages (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3) were instructional in how we should work to control the gates of our mind. Early in the book, Bunyan introduces us to what he terms the Council of War. At this council, there is a conglomerate of devils that all are sitting down trying to make a determination of how they are going to get into the city of Mansoul to destroy it. There are four schemes that they consider prior to the attack of the city....
[ read more...]
The Seven Habits of the Highly Ineffective Pastor
What would an ineffective pastor look like? Here are seven habits of highly ineffective pastors and how you can avoid them.
- Be reactive. Effective people are proactive. They take responsibility for their lives and aren't swayed by their physical or social environments. Being proactive means responding by choices and values, not by emotions or circumstances.....
The Seven Habits of the Highly Ineffective Pastor
What would an ineffective pastor look like? Here are seven habits of highly ineffective pastors and how you can avoid them.
- Be reactive. Effective people are proactive. They take responsibility for their lives and aren't swayed by their physical or social environments. Being proactive means responding by choices and values, not by emotions or circumstances.....
Formula for overcoming failure
Recognize
What is failure? Is it permanent? Is there a second chance? Complete the sentence by circling the right phrase “a person is a failure when…”
- He makes a mistake;
- He quits;
- Someone thinks he is.
Review - Failure should be a teacher, not an undertaker. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end street. A winner is big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them and strong enough to correct them.
Repress - Perhaps your own personal problems and hang-ups caused the failure. If so, begin to work immediately on self-discipline. If you were the problem, put yourself under control. Lord Nelson, England’s famous naval hero, suffered from seasickness throughout his entire life. Yet the man who had destroyed Napoleon’s fleet did not let illness interfere with his career.
[ read more...]
Formula for overcoming failure
Recognize
What is failure? Is it permanent? Is there a second chance? Complete the sentence by circling the right phrase “a person is a failure when…”
- He makes a mistake;
- He quits;
- Someone thinks he is.
Review - Failure should be a teacher, not an undertaker. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end street. A winner is big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them and strong enough to correct them.
Repress - Perhaps your own personal problems and hang-ups caused the failure. If so, begin to work immediately on self-discipline. If you were the problem, put yourself under control. Lord Nelson, England’s famous naval hero, suffered from seasickness throughout his entire life. Yet the man who had destroyed Napoleon’s fleet did not let illness interfere with his career.
[ read more...]The Witnesses: Dr. James Naismith
(1861-1939)
Dr. James Naismith was born in 1861 in Ramsay Township, Ontario, Canada. Naismith’s parents died of typhoid when he was only 9-years-old leaving him to live with his strict religious grandmother and uncle.
In 1883, Naismith entered McGill University in Quebec. Initially, he stayed away from sports until friends suggested he join football rugby and lacrosse to stay fit. He graduated top 10 in his class earning a Bachelor of Arts degree in philosophy and Hebrew. Naismith won scholarships in theology and continued to participate in sports, much to the dismay of his professors. They particularly didn’t like lacrosse due to its aggressive nature. Yet Naismith held to his belief that a person could play sports and have a good spiritual life.
After obtaining his diploma and becoming an ordained minister, Naismith departed for Massachusetts and joined the YMCA in the summer of 1890. While teaching youth physical education, he discovered that football, baseball, and track and field were great in the summer months, but there was nothing in the winter months to keep the young boys busy and off the streets at night.
[ read more...]The Witnesses: Dr. James Naismith
(1861-1939)
Dr. James Naismith was born in 1861 in Ramsay Township, Ontario, Canada. Naismith’s parents died of typhoid when he was only 9-years-old leaving him to live with his strict religious grandmother and uncle.
In 1883, Naismith entered McGill University in Quebec. Initially, he stayed away from sports until friends suggested he join football rugby and lacrosse to stay fit. He graduated top 10 in his class earning a Bachelor of Arts degree in philosophy and Hebrew. Naismith won scholarships in theology and continued to participate in sports, much to the dismay of his professors. They particularly didn’t like lacrosse due to its aggressive nature. Yet Naismith held to his belief that a person could play sports and have a good spiritual life.
After obtaining his diploma and becoming an ordained minister, Naismith departed for Massachusetts and joined the YMCA in the summer of 1890. While teaching youth physical education, he discovered that football, baseball, and track and field were great in the summer months, but there was nothing in the winter months to keep the young boys busy and off the streets at night.
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