Why Do People Leave The Church?

Knowing some answers to this question can not only keep a church from losing some great people, but will also bring a church into revival as the back door is closed to a large degree.

It’s kind of like money.  It’s not how much you make, it’s how much you save.  Some count their new converts by the hundreds, but few of these converts are still in the church a year later. 

People leave the church because of boring sermons.  Some people can tell when a preacher is shooting from the hip or preaching to the choir.  “Study to show yourself approved.”   You are not going to keep some people unless your messages are getting into their heart and mind.   They have come to hear a Word from God.  Get one from the Lord for yourself and then give it to the congregation.

People leave the church because they feel the ministry does not care about them.  Greet them, shake their hands, phone them, write them a letter, smile at them, visit them when they are sick, send them a card when you can’t.  Let them know you care.  One kind word spoken at the right moment in a person’s life can cause them to be devoted to you for the rest of their life.

People leave the church because they have no relationships there.  Develop ways for new converts to develop relationships within the church.  Small Groups are a great place for new people to gain those necessary relationships.

When Taking Up the Offering

Here are a few things to remember when taking up the offering.

Don’t be timid or embarrassed to ask people for money.   It takes money to make ministry happen. 

Teach your people to give financially to the church.  You are robbing them of a tremendous blessing if you are not teaching them to give tithes and offerings.   It is the job of the ministry to instruct people how to give financially to God’s work.

Be the first to give.  Instruct your ushers to take the offering from the platform first.  The Pastor should be the first to give and then anyone who is seated on the platform.  Preachers, musicians, singers, everybody should be instructed to be an example in giving in every service.  Rule number 1 – If you are on the platform, you must give in every offering.  (This serves as an example to the rest of the congregation.  You will be amazed at the increase in offerings when your congregation begins to notice the leadership of the church being the first to give.

Tell the ushers to slow down – Recently I visited a church where the ushers went so fast collecting the offering that people did not even have time to get their wallets out before the ushers were finished.   Slow them down.  People need time to dig deep.

A Husband's Responsibilities - For Men Only

I. He is to love his wife as Christ loved the church.

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband" (Ephesians 5:25-33).

• This is total self-giving love. He can only love his wife to the degree that he receives the love of God. Through this kind of love, he brings a sanctification and cleansing for his wife.

II. He is to be tenderhearted toward his wife.

"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you" (Ephesians 4:32).

"Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye" (Colossians 3:12- 13).

• The one major complaint women give about their husbands is that they are not tenderhearted (sensitive to their feelings). "He just can't show his emotions."

III. He is to be the provider for the family.

"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel" (I Timothy 5:8).

"For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat" (I Thessalonians 3:10).

• God works through the husband and father to provide for the wife and the children. This provision should also include protection from physical or emotional harm.

Smile, You're on the Platform!

"...happy is that people, whose God is the LORD."  (Psalm 144:15)

Allen Funt, creator and original host of the landmark television series Candid Camera, perfected an art that has entertained people for over 60 years. From a humble start on radio in 1947, he used hidden microphones and cameras to catch unsuspecting people worldwide—all in the spirit of fun.  The show's famous tag line—"Smile! You're on Candid Camera!"—is universally known. 

Somebody is always watching you, so why not smile. All too often, we’ve all been in church services where the people who were on the platform, hardly ever smiled.  In some of these instances,  I personally knew these people and knew that they had a great sense of humor and personality, but watching them from the audience I realized that they hardly ever smiled while on the platform.  I know that there are times of deep worship when there is crying and weeping before the Lord.  I'm not talking about these instances.  What I am referring to are all of the other times while on the platform.  Most of the time our musicians and singers are on the platform for most, if not all, of the service.  Pastors and other spiritual leaders usually sit on the platform for all of the service also.  Spending all of this time in front of the congregation becomes second nature to us and we develop the bad habit of not smiling. Sometimes while leading worship service, preaching or even singing, we scrunch up our face and it looks like we are mad at something or that we are in a bad mood.  All the while, we may be in the best mood ever but it comes across to the audience in a different way.

A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.  ~Charles Gordy

"If you're happy and you know it then your face will surely show it."  In fact, all of the leadership of the church represents who the church is to the congregation and also to the guests.  If you are the greeter who stands at the front of the church and welcomes everyone into the sanctuary, you definitely should be smiling.  You are the first face that members and guests see and it should be a happy, welcoming face.  If you are a Sunday School teacher, make a conscious effort to smile, whether you are teaching that Sunday or not.  If you are a musician in the church who is normally on the platform but maybe you have the service off and are sitting in the congregation, make sure you are still smiling.  You would be surprised who is watching you to see who you are whenever you aren't in front of everyone. 

Is Your Vision Large Enough

There’s a difference between leadership and management.  Management consists primarily of three things:  analysis, problem solving and planning.  If you go to any management course, you’ll find it revolves around those three things.  But leadership consists of communicating your Vision and Values. 

If you don’t clarify the purposes as the leader, who will?

Here are a few guidelines:

Believe it or not, the bigger your vision, the easier it is to reach.  People are rarely motivated by small visions.  They will follow a big vision easier than a little one.  People need a purpose.  Giving them a grand vision will enable them to connect as some level with that vision.  If your vision is narrow, you may fail to interest some people.  However, if your vision is large, it will leave plenty of room for others to get involved.

Don’t worry about solving the problem before casting the vision.  A good example of visionary leadership would be the United States President, John F. Kennedy.  Regardless of what you think about his politics, Kennedy stood up one day in the early 1960’s and said, “We will put a man on the moon by the end of the decade.”  He was clear; he was precise; and the vision was something people could look to.  Now, here’s the interesting thing – when he said it, the technology to put a man on the moon hadn’t even been developed.  That’s visionary leadership!  Just because you don't have all the pieces of the puzzle just yet, does not mean that you can't share the vision.  Let others come along side you who will bring those pieces to the table.

Your God determines how big your goal is.  So, how big do you think God is?  The issue is not who do you think you are, but who do you think God is?  In your dreams for ministry, don’t limit yourself by saying, “What can I do?”  Instead ask, “What can God do?  What can God do in this place?”  Then, use every single tool and resource that God puts in front of you - no matter what it looks like.  Judging whether or not a resource if "of God" will limit God's ability to bless you in your work for Him.  

The Hillside Strangler

Without fail, every time I fly, I am amazed at what I can see from the window of an airplane. Whether it is scenic mountains and lakes or large cities, I love to see the view from above the world.

I live about forty miles from Chicago and I drive the Chicago highways quite frequently. What a horrible mess they are. Often it takes two hours or more to get from one side of the city to the other. Many times I have sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic wondering what the problem is and promising myself that I will never drive that highway again. Yet, when I fly over the city I can see all of the highways at the same time. I can point out all of the trouble spots in just a few moments. I can see the bottlenecks, I can see the accidents. New perspective is gained.

If you have been through Chicago more than once, you have probably heard of the 'Hillside Strangler'. It is a notorious section of highway near the town of Hillside where two interstates and a road merge into a single lane to enter the Eisenhower Expressway. It has long been dubbed one of the worst traffic bottlenecks in the world. It will literally stop you dead in your tracks where you won't be able to move for a long, long time. A few years ago they spent over a 100 million dollars to fix the problem. They widened the entrance to three lanes. However, after all of the time and money they spent to fix this, the traffic flow is only slightly better. People are just as frustrated as before. When you see this area from above, you can see that the congestion has only been pushed further east. The problem is easily seen from the sky, three lanes are not enough for this traffic merger, and they need more lanes stretched out over more distance. The estimated cost to rebuild this section of highway is now well over one billion dollars.

It is amazing how crystal clear the answers are when seen from above. The perspective one can receive from the skies is like receiving new revelation.

During a time of terrible persecution and uncertainty, the Apostle John was banished to the Isle of Patmos. There was no way out. Facing the darkest hours of his life, John had many questions on his heart. He couldn't think his way out. He couldn't see his way out. Though he lived to an old age there, he didn't know he would do so at the time.

However, Jesus knew some things John didn't know. Jesus was about to invite John up into the heavens. Jesus wanted to give John some new perspective and some fresh insight.

Are You Trained To Fail?

“Have you been trained to fail?”  You have been trained in ministry to fail if you have been taught to do the ministry rather than to train others for ministry.  I am grateful to the teachers who taught me to perform the functions of ministry:  visiting, counseling, marrying, burying, teaching, witnessing, and a host of other duties.  All are needed.  By themselves, however, they help us only to maintain, not to maximize ministry.  We can never be effective ministers until we learn what it means to be a leader and how to function as a leader.  The following are five common ingredients in growing churches:

• (1)  The pastor and the congregation understand their God-given gifts and use them in ministry.
  
• (2) The pastor’s hands-on ministry decreases and the congregation’s increases.
  
• (3) Both the quality and the quantity of ministry increase.
• (4) The pastor’s ministry influence increases as he shares ministry responsibilities with the congregation.
  
• (5) A biblical philosophy of ministry is established.  That is, leadership plus lay ministry equals growth.

How can you build a leadership team and maximize ministry in your church?  The following six steps are proven and effective.

1. Identify the leaders in the church.  Who are the influencers?  These persons may hold formal or informal positions of leadership.  They are the ones to whom others look for decisions.  Write down their names and rank them on a scale of 1 to 10 as to their leadership and influence within the church.
2. Intentionally take time to build relationships with your current and future leaders.  Do not ignore or exclude the others, but focus on developing leaders.

How to Prepare a Message

Our Pastor Stinks!

 It is fair to say that Levi, or Matthew,  was not a man of good character.   He had accepted the office of tax-collector for the Romans.  And being a Jew this did not go over too well.   The Jews did not take too fondly to an office that put them in subject to the Romans.  Therefore, they gave these tax-gatherers a bad name.  They had  a certain hatred for them.

But when Jesus went out looking for disciples to come and follow him, one of the first places he went was  to this tax collecting booth and simply said to Levi (Matthew)"follow me."  Levi, who was rejected by so many because of his occupation, was in disbelief that Jesus had sought him out and selected him on purpose.  Luke writes that  "he left all, rose up, and followed him. "

Jesus was used to hanging out with people who were down-trodden.  First a leper, then a paralytic, and now a tax collector! If Jesus were running for public office he ought to be more careful about the company he is keeping.  But Jesus has a higher mission than popularity: "to preach the gospel to the poor, to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind" (Luke 4:18), and the needy aren't always clean or respectable.