After A Really Really Really Bad Day

Ever had one? One of those days where you wish you would have stayed in bed? I had one last week. Well, actually I had two of them in a row. My boy Jeremy had just gotten the cast off his arm from the break he received when he fell out of the tree 2 months ago. So, Thursday evening, we decided to take our dirt bikes out and go riding. We had ridden about an hour when Jer flipped his bike on a jump and it landed on his foot, thus breaking it. So to the house we go to get a few things before we head to the emergency room. Before we leave the house though, we should let Molly out. Molly is our 5 pound Maltese. The baby of the family. She is almost ready to come into the house when the neighbors dog comes over and mauls her. She wasn't hurt badly, only bruised and frightened, but we don't have time to comfort her because Jeremy is needing to go get X- rays. This has turned out to be a very bad day.

I wake up Friday morning, thinking, O. K. the worst is behind us. It's a brand new day, right?! Wrong. All I did was turn my head and sneeze. That's all. But now my neck has gone into a spasm and the vertebrae are out and I can't move my neck in any direction more than an inch without causing excruciating pain. So I lay on the bed for an hour. Unable to move. (6 days, and 2 chiropractor appointments later, I'm still in pain.) Boy this is starting out to be a bad day. Unable to get an appointment with a chiropractor, I suffered though a very painful day at the computer, with set back after set back on site development. Finally after a long, frustrating, painful day, my wife and I (still suffering) go to bed hoping tomorrow will be better.

Two hours later the phone rings. It's Kristi, our 17 year old. She was driving back from church camp, a 2.5 hour drive from Indianapolis and fell asleep at the wheel. All she could tell us was that she was in a wreck. She didn't know where she was at and the car is totaled. We asked her if anyone had stopped to help her. "No". "Do you see any road signs?" Frantic and in shock, she replied in tears, "No, I don't know where I'm at." I cannot tell you how fearful my wife and I were. Not only were we not able to tell the police where she was, but we really did not know her condition since she was in shock and unable to tell us very much.

Guessing her time of departure and the approximate distance in the trip, I called the State Police and told them the situation and to look for her on Route 65 between Rensselaer and Lowe, about a 60 mile stretch. Amazingly the phone rings 10 minutes later and the fire department has found her 1 mile off the exit ramp from Rensselaer To our relief she is bruised, but ok. God really had his hand on her. She hit the guardrail at around 65 MPH, completely destroying the guardrail and totaled out the car.

But God is good isn't He! At the end of a second very bad day, I got to hold my baby girl in my arms and thank God for keeping her from certain death. Holding her, I realized that by all rights, we should be in a hospital room seeing the worst.

We can complain about the neck spasms, dog fights, broken bones, and bad days at the office, but when it's all over we really just need to stop and thank the Lord for breath. Thank Him for our children. Thank Him for a job, any job. We would complain about the old junk car that we are driving, but we need to notice the old lady walking home from the grocery store with bags in her arms and a long walk ahead of her. How blessed we really are.

10 Traits To Identify A Promising Person

Identifying that next leader is not easy.  You must often times select a few prospects and begin to work with them waiting for the cream to rise to the top.  While you are mentoring and waiting for maturity, here are a few things to begin to look for.

Leadership in the past. The best predictor of the future is the past.  Is this a person who has worked well on a team previously?  Maybe, they needed a break and stepped aside for rest, but are now able to get back on board.

The capacity to create or catch vision. When I talk to people about the future, I want their eyes to light up. I want them to ask the right questions.  When you are sharing your vision with people do they get excited along with you?  Do they offer suggestions that spur your imagination further?  When you find someone who is able to catch the same vision as you, you have found someone that you can entrust much of the responsibility with.  They will have a similar passion for the work as you yourself would.

A constructive spirit of discontent. Some people would call this criticism, but there's a big difference in being constructively discontent and being critical. The unscratchable itch is always in the leader.  These people are a bit hard to sift from the genuine critics, but when you do you may have found a diamond in the rough.  Just because they are questioning a few things does not mean they are not on your side.  Give them an opportunity to help make a needed change and you may have found a great friend 

Practical Ideas. Not everybody with practical ideas is a leader, of course, but leaders seem to be able to identify which are and which aren't.  A person's experience will often times lend practical ideas.  When someone offers an idea that is helpful, it may be that they have been involved in a project much like what you are facing which will make them a helpful candidate for your ministry team.

A willingness to take responsibility. Leaders will bear work, for the feeling of contributing to other people is what leadership is all about. When you find a person who is willing to take responsibility for not only the ministry you have given them, but also the success of it, you have found pure gold.  These are people to build upon.  The ministry is dependent on individuals who are willing to take responsibility.

A completion factor. In the military, it is called "completed staff work." The half-cooked meal isn't what you want. Someone who competes what they have set out to do is invaluable.  When looking for leadership that will help you move your church forward, look for people who finish what they start, no matter how small or trivial the task is.

What is Leadership?

What is Leadership? Leadership is first and foremost influence. When you look over history, you will find People like Hitler, Churchill. Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, who were all great leaders. Not all of them were great people, but they had a way of drawing the masses into their way of thinking.

Of those people listed here, the one who intrigues me the most is Adolph Hitler. If there ever was a political mad man, he was one. However, with all of his error, he was able to lead the masses of Germany into his way of thinking. He was able, with his mindset of madness, to convince them, that murderous mayhem was the necessary means of creating a better and stronger Germany.

So, leadership is influence. How a person uses that influence is the proof of that persons character. Some even in church arenas, have used their influence of people for their own self gratification. Their own self-preservation. And their own agendas. This is not Godly or Spiritual Leadership, however it is Leadership.

Regardless of the result of your effect on a person’s life, whom you have influence over, you are ultimately leading them. It may be your children. It may be the people who work for you or are under you in a corporation or church. It may be the kids in your Youth Group. Or it may be the people you Minister to in your local church.

I recognize the effect of my father’s leading in my life growing up as a child. For years, my father was an alcoholic. He beat his wife. He neglected his children. He abandoned his post of fatherhood, yet he was, with all of his silence in my life, leading and influencing me. Who I would become as a man, was being formed by a person who, for the most part of my childhood, was absent.

Still Walking on Asphalt

It's nice and relaxing to sit back and close our eyes and let the words of John come to life in our minds as he describes that great City.  We look around and see the great and high wall which is made of jasper.  In fact, the whole city is pure gold like unto clear glass.  The foundations of the wall are garnished with all manner of precious stones.  We notice that there are twelve gates and they are all pearls.  What a beautiful, pure river that flows from the throne of God!  And finally we look down and to our delight, the streets are pure gold.  That's right, not just paved with gold, but they ARE pure gold.  What a beautiful City that He has prepared for us!   Heaven is going to be wonderful!

However, eventually we have to open our eyes again and realize that we are still here.  The trumpet of the Lord has not sounded yet.  We haven't been raptured away to be with Him.  We aren't yet walking on streets of gold; no, we are still walking on asphalt.

Home Friendship Groups - Helping close the back door.

“A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.” Prov 18:19

Bob stopped me a while back to thank me. A trustee and board member in his church, he explained that he and his wife were greatly offended by a situation and people in the church. He told how one Sunday without knowing their situation, I encouraged them. I told them that “they were very important to the work of God there” and a “wonderful example to me”. I didn’t know they had already decided this was their last service in that church. He told me that had it not been for my encouraging them that day, they never would have gone back.

I wonder how many Bob’s leave the church without anybody noticing.

It is often said, “If we could just win back those who have already left, that would be a great revival. My question is, “how did we ever let them get away in the first place”?

In my years of pastoring and ministry, I’ve found that people usually leave the church because they were never truly assimilated into the family of God to begin with. Once a person is established into the church and have formed nurturing relationships, it’s less likely they would become offended and leave.

We think that we have to “get them into the choir right away” or “find them a position or job in the church” to keep new converts. This may help that person feel more attached, but it will never assimilate them into the church.

Why do people exit the church? Many times, a person leaves because they were never provided the proper relationships within the church.

Some ABC’s of Modern Ministry

What are people, especially younger generations, looking for?

Authenticity, Not Hype – In all things, the church should strive to be genuine – to be real.

Balance, Not Burnout – For a world running on empty, where teenagers use Day-Timers, the church should be a place of balance.

Connections & Community – A place to belong.

Disciples, Not Decisions – Recognize the different stages of faith development. (Making a one-time decision for Christ is not enough. Christianity is a lifetime walk not a one-time decision. Once the decision has been made, training for growth must begin. How many “saved” are still in the church growing six months or more down the road?)

God Wants To Change Our Reality, Now!

The problem with life is that is shows up regular and so suddenly, leaving in its wake—Our Reality. Many of us wish that our Reality was something much different: all good and no bad; all sunshine, no clouds; all answered prayer, no waiting, or even worse…refusals. Reality can become a Prison Of Despair, which can drag the best of us way down. We must allow Faith to forecast change, so that our Reality becomes all God intends. Remember; today is not final; the God of Glory has the great power to alter and change what seems to be Final. Time is totally subject to God; He can use it to alter whatever in our lives that is not becoming what He wants.

So many of us have in our lives either hoped for or worked toward a Reality that was of our dreams. Reality, for most of us, is a far cry from the ideal, but that does not mean we cannot make some real progress, so that our Reality can become a better issue for us. I refuse to allow what is now existing to stop all that can be. Reality is not the final word; Jesus has that all to Himself.

How many of the followers of our Lord have found themselves in situations less desirable and not at all what they had believed for, yet they did not cave in, but, rather, moved ahead and did some great things? How many cripples were affected when He impacted their Reality? How many lost and sinful lives were greatly altered, even though their Reality seemed set in stone?

Can You Turn a Loser into a Leader? Part 1

 "Not on your own, but with God's help you can!"

Luke 1:37

37 For with God nothing shall be impossible.

If you asked anybody, "What amazes you most about what Jesus did while on this Earth?" You would get responses like, "He raised the dead," or "He died for my sins" or "He healed the blind and the lame."  No doubt that each of these are amazing works of God, Calvary can never be denied as the greatest work that Jesus did. I would have responded the same way. Calvary aside,  one of the most amazing things to me that Jesus did while on this Earth was transforming the twelve into disciples, and ultimately into the leaders of the first century church. That was an amazing accomplishment.

I know firsthand as a leader and a pastor how difficult it is to change people. I understand how much time it takes to cause habits and thinking to change. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that the twelve disciples were total idiots, but let's be honest, they didn't have a whole lot going for them. They were definitely less than ordinary. They didn't have a lot of natural talent. Their intellectual abilities were lacking. Each one of them was prone to failure, bad attitudes and mistakes, no one more than the leader of the group, Peter. Almost every one of them had issues with their faith. They all had bouts with doubt. On one occasion, Jesus said of them;

Luke 24:25

25 Then he said unto them, O fools, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken:

Jesus called them fools, yet He also saw them for what they could be, instead of what they were. These twelve "fools," or at least eleven of them, went on to turn their world upside down. They became the propagators of the Gospel after Jesus ascended. They built the church from the ground up. Their ministry continues to influence us to this day. So the answer is 'yes', a loser can be turned into a leader. A fool can become a person of wisdom. In fact, more often than not, God typically calls these kind of men and women to become the leaders in the church

Live Personal Mentoring

If you are like most Christian church and business leaders you have already discovered that "quick-fix" leadership solutions simply do not work.

At best they are Band-Aids that only temporarily mask the real problems. Perhaps you also have experienced the frustration experienced after spending precious dollars to attend conference after conference and realizing that the motivation received wore off shortly after returning to the real world at home. Or maybe you are one of the countless leaders who visit the bookstore for the latest catchy title, only to buy another book that never gets finished and simply winds up looking good on the bookshelf behind your desk. Impressive but ineffective.There is a solution to the leadership dilemma. For many pastors the real solution is less costly than hosting an evangelist, or for a business leader to hire a consultant. The real solution is one-on-one live mentoring with a gifted and seasoned professional who is focused on you and your needs.

Dr. Fred Childs is highly solicited by Christian church and business leaders for personal mentoring. He offers invaluable understanding, insights, and solutions to leaders on a wide range of topics.ChurchMentor.net has an inexpensive monthly membership fee that introduces its members to an abundance of relevant leadership materials in written, audio, and video formats. However, now the services being offered are expanding to include live mentoring as well.