The Dark Side of Spiritual Abuse -- Part 1

In the past, I have written on church trouble from the angle of people in the congregation who found great enthusiasm for tormenting pastors until they finally ran them off. The religious landscape is littered with men who no longer pastor churches and gave up the calling of a ministry because of a situation where they found themselves in great contention with the hidden powers that ran the church. If you are interested you may read those old Barnabas Blog posts from a couple of years ago (Part 1 & Part 2). Since writing those posts, I have observed a few more of these unfortunate situations as they unfolded.

On the other hand, there are also churches that have had endure terrible abuses at the hands of heavy-handed, manipulative, and dark pastors who fall into the category of being a spiritual abuser.

I must say from the outset that this kind of activity to me is totally foreign because of the environment that I grew up in with my own pastor (and now father-in-law) Joe Patterson. Because of his spiritual leadership, I grew up with the idea that the church was the most incredible, warm, and safe place on the earth. It was only after I begin to travel around a bit and grew up some spiritually and mentally that I was exposed to the dark side of the church and ministry. To be quite frank with you, it was a bit unnerving and initially faith-jarring.

Who Wants To Be The Leader?

Do you remember saying that as a child? The game was called..."Follow the leader". In the course of playing this particular game, a leader would be chosen, then each individual would imitate the actions & movements of the leader. That game was a blast! You could get your friends to do all kinds of stuff they would ordinarily never do. {I won't go into details.}

Wouldn't it be something if leading the people in your local church was as easy as "Follow the Leader"?! I know I'm being a little too simple, but think about it. There would be no complaining, arguing or questioning. Everyone would simply do what ever you did because you were the "leader".

The reality of it however, is people will follow you if you don't hurt them. If you love them. If you care for them. If you put trust in them. They will especially follow you when they sense that you are close to God.

I believe some leaders make the mistake of expecting people to follow them simply because they are the "leader". Some people may for a while, but the first time there is trouble, "Look out"! Jesus found this to be true even in His ministry.

The Dark Side of Spiritual Abuse -- Part 2

To give a little history as to how some of the heavy-handed authoritative traits came into play among pastors you have to trace back to the charismatic movement. Out of the charismatic movement there was the evolving of a concept called “shepherding.” 

The Latter Rain movement actually had its earliest beginnings in the late 1800’s and was born out of the Methodist and Holiness camp-meeting environment. It would continue to generate momentum and experience growth during the post-World War II years and be much encouraged by the Charismatic movement in the 1960’s and 1970’s. Marked by extreme excess and abuse of the gifts of the Spirit, this activity led to the production of “prophets” who had little use for personal holiness and consecration. After a while it appeared that they only had a desire for their own personal kingdoms to grow.

As time went by these intruders became susceptible to moral and ethical failures. The subsequent fallout from their failures caused many who followed them to be led astray by their repulsive actions. In an effort to recover from these shenanigans a group of leaders came together and formed what was called “The Shepherding Movement.” Bob Mumford, Derek Prince, Charles Simpson, and Don Basham were the primary founders of this loosely formed organization who determined that its sole purpose would be to form a system of personal accountability. Later a fifth leader, Ern Baxter would be added to make up what was referred to as the “Fort Lauderdale Five.”

They decided that their work would be modeled after the pattern of Paul mentoring his sons in the faith, Timothy and Titus. They would work toward building a system of accountability that would form deeper relationships among pastors, ministry development at all levels, and ethical standards with emphasis on moral and financial dealings.

The whole system worked with the idea that anyone who came into the church needed a“shepherd.” After witnessing the moral collapse of several prominent men, this seemed to be a good and necessary thing. Who could object to the need for spiritual leadership and accountability? It became very heavy on authority and control in a manner that even simple decisions of daily living had to be monitored and approved by the pastor/leader of local congregations.

As an example, the leader would have to make the final decisions on car purchases, home mortgages, and job opportunities. In some cases, the “shepherd” would designate who young men and young women would marry to the degree that the marriages were arranged and carried through. The “shepherd” would have almost complete control over the personal finances. The parishioners would bring their paychecks to him and he would cash them and take his cut which was oftentimes more than 10% and give them the remainder. So as you can see the role of the pastor changed into an extreme form of authoritative control.

Some of the characteristics of the Shepherding system are as follow:

• Discipleship only takes place when one is committed to the group, cell ministry, and its leader.

• The only hope of salvation is extreme devotion to the shepherd of the group. This indicates the leader has more power to save than does Jesus Christ.

• Jesus Christ does not work directly in the life of the follower but rather He works through a system of delegated authority that flows down from the shepherd. You are to submit to this man as you would submit to God.

• Our relationship with God is not primary but rather it works in tandem with the power of a shepherd who has total control over the present, material world we live in.

• Our obedience

Bi-Vocational Pastors

If your ministry is only one of your jobs, here are 12 tips to make the road a little smother.  

In light of the fact that 50 percent of all North American churches have 75 people or fewer, many pastors do not receive full salary from the church they serve. This forces them to consider options such as finding other employment on the side or having a spouse work to help make ends meet.

1. Guard your attitudes. Sometimes it is hard for those “called into the ministry” to accept the fact that they may have to work “secular” jobs at times. These are understandable feelings, but will lead to bitterness of heart and cripple our ministries unless we overcome them.
2. Look primarily to God. It is easy to become resentful toward people if we look to them as our sources. God is our ultimate employer and provider, not the church.
3. Beware of get- rich-quick schemes. A pastor desperate for additional sources of income may be vulnerable to the allure of multilevel marketing and other “easy money” systems.
4. Assess the hidden costs of having a spouse that works. After the cost of travel, food on the road, child care, house cleaning etc, you may find that it is cheaper for them to stay home. A job or career is often times more of an outlet or escape. Check all the motives and the real cost involved.
5. Make the most of the situation while you’re at it. Working a secular job can actually have many overlooked benefits other than just additional income: contact with unchurched people and experience with realities of work environments.
6. Define your ministry. Bi-vocational pastors should beware of trying to have a “full- service” ministry. You need definite limits and boundaries. You cannot do everything, so you must have a clear focus for what you will handle....

Some things to consider when planning church activities.

People are very busy, don’t burden them with mere activities.

• Many full time church leaders do not understand the time constraints of the working saint and their family.
• Many homes are two income homes where families seldom have time for one another. 
• God and church should be at the center of our lives, however church leadership needs to realize that people need a break once in a while as well. 
• We live in a different world than we did 30 years ago and the family unit is suffering as a result. 
• It would be a good exercise for church leadership to see how they can cut the church calendar 20% by removing unproductive activities. 
• Often a meeting can be held shortly after church rather than have people set aside another evening of the week to attend.

Church activities should have a purpose.

• Just because you did it last year is not a good reason to do it this year. 
• Kill the sacred cow! 
• Does the event promote evangelism? 
• Will souls be won as a result of it? 
• Will the body be strengthened because of this event? 
• If not, consider something that will or give them a break by deleting that event and moving on to the next one.

Don’t have a meeting just to have a meeting.

• If you have no clear direction for the meeting or there is not immediate need for one, don’t have it. 
• Wait until you have the agenda thoroughly thought and planned out and then announce a meeting. 
• Accomplish something at every meeting and your people will feel like coming to the meeting was worth their sacrifice of time.

How To C.R.A.F.T. A Message

C – collect & categorize

• Eccl. 12:9 (NLT) Because the Teacher was wise … He collected proverbs and classified them …
  
• Collect Bible verses, quotes, articles, books, sermon tapes, illustrations, etc. – even years in advance!
  
• Categorize them in a filing system – put something away each day

R – research & reflect

• Eccl. 12: 9 (NASB) The Preacher … pondered and searched out …
  
• Research is studying with my mind; reflection is listening with my heart (meditation).

A – apply & arrange

• Eccl. 12:11 (NLT) A wise teacher’s words spur students to action and emphasize important truths.
  
• Each sermon should answer three important questions:

                    o What?
                    o So what?
                    o Now what?

• Arrange your sermon in an outline:

1. Keep it SIMPLE.
   Haddon Robinson: “Television has destroyed linear thinking”

A Few Good Things To Know About People

1. Showing your compassionate and caring nature will aid you in forging successful relationships.
2. When you extinguish hope, you create desperation.
3. Remember that your followers generally want to believe that what they do is their own idea and, more importantly, that it genuinely makes a difference.
4. If you practice dictatorial leadership, you prepare yourself to be dictated to.
5. Delegate responsibility and authority by empowering people to act on their own.
6. When you make it to the top, turn and reach down for the person behind you.
7. You must be consistently fair and decent in both the business and personal side of life.
8. Never add the weight of your character to a charge against a person without knowing it to be true.
9. Never crush a man out, thereby making him and his friends permanent enemies of your organization...

After A Really Really Really Bad Day

Ever had one? One of those days where you wish you would have stayed in bed? I had one last week. Well, actually I had two of them in a row. My boy Jeremy had just gotten the cast off his arm from the break he received when he fell out of the tree 2 months ago. So, Thursday evening, we decided to take our dirt bikes out and go riding. We had ridden about an hour when Jer flipped his bike on a jump and it landed on his foot, thus breaking it. So to the house we go to get a few things before we head to the emergency room. Before we leave the house though, we should let Molly out. Molly is our 5 pound Maltese. The baby of the family. She is almost ready to come into the house when the neighbors dog comes over and mauls her. She wasn't hurt badly, only bruised and frightened, but we don't have time to comfort her because Jeremy is needing to go get X- rays. This has turned out to be a very bad day.

I wake up Friday morning, thinking, ok the worst is behind us. It's a brand new day, right?! Wrong. All I did was turn my head and sneeze. That's all. But now my neck has gone into a spasm and the vertebrae are out and I can't move my neck in any direction more than an inch without causing excruciating pain. So I lay on the bed for an hour. Unable to move. (6 days, and 2 chiropractor appointments later, I'm still in pain.) Boy this is starting out to be a bad day. Unable to get an appointment with a chiropractor, I suffered though a very painful day at the computer, with set back after set back on site development. Finally after a long, frustrating, painful day, my wife and I (still suffering) go to bed hoping tomorrow will be better.

Two hours later the phone rings. It's Kristi, our 17 year old. She was driving back from church camp, a 2.5 hour drive from Indianapolis and fell asleep at the wheel. All she could tell us was that she was in a wreck. She didn't know where she was at and the car is totaled. We asked her if anyone had stopped to help her. "No". "Do you see any road signs?" Frantic and in shock, she replied in tears, "No, I don't know where I'm at." I cannot tell you how fearful my wife and I were. Not only were we not able to tell the police where she was, but we really did not know her condition since she was in shock and unable to tell us very much.

Guessing her time of departure and the approximate distance in the trip, I called the State Police and told them the situation and to look for her on Route 65 between Rensselaer and Lowe, about a 60 mile stretch. Amazingly the phone rings 10 minutes later and the fire department has found her 1 mile off the exit ramp from Rensselaer To our relief she is bruised, but ok. God really had his hand on her. She hit the guardrail at around 65 MPH, completely destroying the guardrail and totaled out the car.

But God is good isn't He! At the end of a second very bad day, I got to hold my baby girl in my arms and thank God for keeping her from certain death. Holding her, I realized that by all rights, we should be in a hospital room seeing the worst.

We can complain about the neck spasms, dog fights, broken bones, and bad days at the office, but when it's all over we really just need to stop and thank the Lord for breath. Thank Him for our children. Thank Him for a job, any job. We would complain about the old junk car that we are driving, but we need to notice the old lady walking home from the grocery store with bags in her arms and a long walk ahead of her. How blessed we really are.

Developing a Growing Church

1. There are specific, reasonable and attainable growth goals that have been developed. A pastor must see, believe it and work for it!

2. There is powerful Bible-based preaching and teaching, anointed singing, vibrant worship, fervent praying, and generous giving.

3. There is consistent visitation and follow-up on visitors.

4. The pastor recognizes and releases the gifts and callings among the congregation. These gifts include the gifts of teachers, helpers, prophecy, exhortation, ruling, etc.

5. The organization, coordination, and emphasis of the basic departments - Sunday School, Youth, Outreach, Music, New Convert Care - is always on soul-winning and discipleship.