A Husband's Responsibilities - For Men Only

I. He is to love his wife as Christ loved the church.

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband" (Ephesians 5:25-33).

• This is total self-giving love. He can only love his wife to the degree that he receives the love of God. Through this kind of love, he brings a sanctification and cleansing for his wife.

II. He is to be tenderhearted toward his wife.

"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you" (Ephesians 4:32).

"Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye" (Colossians 3:12- 13).

• The one major complaint women give about their husbands is that they are not tenderhearted (sensitive to their feelings). "He just can't show his emotions."

III. He is to be the provider for the family.

"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel" (I Timothy 5:8).

"For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat" (I Thessalonians 3:10).

• God works through the husband and father to provide for the wife and the children. This provision should also include protection from physical or emotional harm.

Your Life and Ministry Is A Balancing Act

Balance in life does not come naturally.  For many of us, our lives are lived in extremes.  Incredible things happen when ministry and life are lived at their fullest. The problem however, is that when one area of our life is lived at an extreme, the others become out of balance. 

Spending larger amounts of time in one area causes the other areas of our life to become anemic.  Few vocations understand this more than the ministry.  Our dedication to God and commitment to His church often cause us to have an imbalanced allocation of energy and time resources.   Sadly, our families are too often the benefactors of the lessor of the imbalance.

Someone once said, “Time waits for no one!”  How true!  We really do only have one life and one chance at making the moments of every single day of that life count.  Moments that are divided between our jobs, families and ministries.  Moments that we will never get back.  Moments that turn hours into days.  Days into years and years into lifetimes. 

• How do you manage all those moments? 
• What are the priorities that you have set to budget those precious moments? 
• What rules have you put into place to guard the distribution of those moments? 
• Is your life so frenzied that you really have no idea who should get the best of “you”?

Simple Strategies to Motivate Others

Motivating yourself to get going and gain momentum is one thing, but inspiring others is another. It starts with your own motivation and continues with strategies that speak to your people. Use the following ideas to give those around you an extra boost of motivation:

• Communicate with Clarity. Before you try to motivate others to act, be sure you know exactly what to ask for. Then communicate it as simply and clearly as you can. After all, people cannot do what they do not understand.

• Be Committed to a Purpose. The one common denominator of all great people in history is that they believed in what they were doing. They were dedicated and committed to their vision and purpose. People will always be persuaded more by the depth of your convictions than by the height of your logic. So, to motivate others, always show them your commitment.

• Give People Recognition. Few things motivate us better than praise. When you tell others that they are doing a great job, it makes them want to work even harder to continue earning your praise. We all have a desire to feel needed and important. For that reason, recognition can be the most dynamic of all motivating factors.

10 Steps To An Empowered Team

Are you struggling to get things done?  Are you the one who is usually completing the projects of your church and overseeing every ministry?  Does it seem like there is never enough time to get all that you need done, even though you are not doing nearly what your vision would require?  Are you feeling used up and exhausted?

You are not alone!  Many Pastors and ministry leaders feel this same way. One of the reasons is because we are not very good at utilizing the talents and strengths of others.  Here are 10 ways you can begin utilizing the people in your ministry to create a more resourceful and accomplished ministry team.   

Cast a vision - The next time you get up to announce a new ministry in your church or the direction you feel the church should be taking, cast a vision.  Share with your ministry team the end result.  You don't have to tell them all of what it is going to take to get there, just tell them the end result.  "I believe our church can be running 200 by next Easter!"  Now there will be many facets of ministry that are going to be needed to cause your congregation to run 200 by Easter, but for now all you want to do is give the leadership team a goal.  "200 by Easter!"

Ask for help - Acknowledging you need help is liberating for the leader!  it is also a grand opportunity for the team to feel like they are coming alongside their pastor.  Asking for help is not becoming vulnerable, it is being honest.  It is also being responsible.  God gave you your ministry team for a reason.  That reason is so that you can utilize their talents, knowledge and energy to accomplish the work of ministry God has envisioned you with.  "Would you consider working together and with me to cause our church to be running 200 by Easter?"

Allow the Genius of the group to be found - The smartest person in the room is not you.  Nor is it any one other person in the group.  The Genius in the room is always the sum of all of those who are on your ministry team.  If allowed to be heard, there are people on your team who have ideas and experiences that can advance your vision much better than you can by yourself.  "What are some things that we could do to cause our church to be running 200 by Easter?"

A Leader's Courage - An Honest Look

Fear can and will keep many good leaders from becoming great leaders. Many mountain climbers have stood at the base camp of Mt. Everest, yet only a small percentage of them have had the courage it takes to actually climb to the top of that mountain.

Fear of the unknown. Fear of what people will say if we fail. Fear of the criticism along the way. Fear of being the only one saying “It can be done.” Fear of our vision being rejected by others.

Fear can kill our God given directive. It can suffocate our dream.

A position or office does not cause a person to become a leader. Though a person be chosen to Pastor a church, they are not truly a leader until they face their fears and actually lead that congregation into the places that God would want it to go. Being chosen to lead is easy. Actually leading is hard.

What defines a true visionary? Is it someone who has a lot of great ideas? Someone who sees the need for change, but never causes that change to take place? About 1 year ago I asked my wife to be very critical of me. I asked her to honestly tell me if I was someone who saw the things that needed to change and caused them to change or if I was someone who pointed out all the areas of needed change and did nothing. Her response though honest, was not what I wanted to hear.

I have determined, that if I am unable or unwilling to cause change in a given area, I will keep my mouth shut. Although I may see a need to change, I will say nothing, unless it is to spark a vision in another person who is capable of creating the needed change.

When I see another person or ministry who is successful, I go to them and find out how/why they are having success. I try to learn from them. Yet, I usually find that the reason they are having success is something I felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me about in the past. I get beat up pretty bad as I realize that God told me to do this same thing several years ago, only I lacked the courage to launch into it. You must admit with me that some of the more successful people around you are doing things that you yourself have considered, only they did it and you didn’t.

The Work Of The Connector

In his book, The Turning Point, Malcolm Gladwell describes the work of the connector.  The connectors he explains are important to social epidemics.  The reason why a new restaurant would become the new hotspot in the community might well depend a great deal on the work of the connector.  You see, a connector is the person in the market place who tells all their friends about the great deal they just got at Wall Mart.  Or the fantastic food they ate at a new restaurant.  Every church has connectors in them.

I have identified my wife as being a connector.  Should Natalie find a bargain at say Wall Mart, she will immediately call her mother and sister on the phone and them about the great deal and why they should head over to Wall Mart as soon as they get off work.   My wife is a connector.  She loves telling people about everything from the newest restaurant, to the store who has a sale on paper napkins.

My life was changed by a connector.  I was 17 years old when I came into contact with this person.  95% of the relationships I have today are a direct result of this one connector in my life.  Mike was his name.  Had this person never told me about and invited me to his church, I never would have met most of the people who I now know as my close friends and colleagues.  He was not a preacher.  He was a connector.

Something excited him about his church and he could not help himself to share it with someone else.  Mike is not an orator.  He is not a teacher of God’s word.  But he connected me to the people who would eventually change my life. 

We all have had the work of a connector in our lives.  They introduced us to the church.  They introduced us to our spouse.  They told us the kind of car we should buy.  They work behind the scenes to promote projects, products and agendas and they do it every day without pay or recognition.  You might say it’s their personality.  I would say it’s more of an obsession with some people.

My wife can’t help herself.  She has to share her good fortune.  I have told her in the past to keep some bargains to herself.  Like the beautiful new dress she just got off a clearance rack for a few bucks.  I tell her let people think you paid a little something for it, but no, she has to tell the world where they can get the same deal.  She loves to be the connector.

Knowledge Will Increase!

Over the holiday season, I took my family shopping in Chicago. As we were heading home to Indiana, it was dark and you could see the lights of the city. As we topped the Skyway (a very high bridge), I looked out and viewed a sea of rows of lights from the street lights below. Thousands and thousands of illuminating beams of light in every direction. As I drove along viewing the endless rows of lights that make up the Chicago skyline, I couldn't help think about a man by the name of Thomas Edison. He's the guy who thought up the light bulb. Without him, we would still be in the stone age with regards to much of the technological breakthroughs of this century. As I thought about Mr. Edison, I couldn't help wishing he was there with me right then to see the spectacle of light that came from his dream.

Over 10,000 failed experiments went into the first light bulb being created. People all around him, inventors and investors alike said he was mad, even insane.

• He believed in something no one else believed in.
  
• He saw something no one else saw.
  
• The light bulb!

You can buy them for around a quarter today. Imagine, a world without the light bulb. I could go on and on telling of all the inventions and advancement which came as a result of that one human hair dipped in carbon and encased in vacuumed glass.

It's hard for us to imagine a world without cars, computers, airplanes, Palm Pilots or light bulbs. However think with me for a minute. For thousands of years, the best mode of transportation was the horse. From the beginning of time the very best thing the human mind could come up with was a saddle to put on that poor beast of burden. They thought they really came up with something when a guy from England came up with something called the stirrup to keep a rider from falling off.

This last century has been filled with incredible advancements which we credit to the superior minds of our century. However, I'm not so sure we should give the credit so vainly to our selves. Yes, the Wright brothers really had something with that small glider. Yes, Henry Ford had a great idea with that assembly line. But, let's not be so foolish as to think that the medical, technological, manufacturing, farming, space exploration advancements have come from the human mind.

It's Your Time!

A few years ago, I hired a man to work for me who was from Africa. His family had brought him to the United States and he was in need of job skills. My small painting company was a great place for him to learn a trade. Frances was a pure joy to work with. He was happy every day. He would sing beautifully as he worked and often expressed his appreciation to me for giving him a job. He was fun and often told funny jokes. He was always ready for work on time. His attitude was perfect. However, I had to fire him.

Frances did not understand the value of time. One day he would paint 30 doors, the next day he would paint 2. After speaking to the family member who was his sponsor to the US, she told me that in Africa, time is of little value. She said, “people where he came from do not place a value on time. If something did not get done today, that’s ok, it can get done tomorrow.” Unfortunately, we in the US do not and cannot look at time this way. I knew how much Frances’s time was worth not only to him, but also to me. As his employer, I had to cause Frances to improve his time to show a profit or I would lose money on each job he did for me. Frances was unable to change his way of thinking regarding time and as a result I had to let him go.

The Bible itself begins with a reference of time, “In the beginning”. Time has always been important to God. A reading of the early chapters of Genesis shows God creating the world as sequential event. Christ Himself did not come to this world until His time was fulfilled and when it was time, he returned to glory. Time is important to God, and it should be important to His ministers.

Some people view time like Frances did. It simply did not matter. “Didn’t do it today? That’s ok, do it tomorrow.” The fact of the matter is, we only have one life. We are only allowed so many days, hours, minutes and seconds in this life. At some appointed second in time we will pass from this life.

The Principle of Momentum

Why Shouldn’t We Succeed?

· God wants you to succeed in ministry!

· God desires that you experience great revival in your church and ministry!

· God has guaranteed that the church will prevail!

The powerful force of excitement and energy in the Church doesn’t have to stop or slow down. You CAN maintain Ministry Momentum.

David Church and I have set out to build a resource together that would challenge what most people think about church leadership and keeping the momentum going when things start to fade, and people lose interest.

In Momentum in Ministry you’ll learn:

1. Keys to consistent growth.

2. How to become the Church that God Designed.

3. How to attain everything that God has promised.

4. How to create momentum.

5. How to maintain momentum.

6. How to use timing to your advantage.

7. How to build momentum for your altar service.