Ten Principles for Getting Along With Difficult People

1. Maintain your confidence by being in right relationship with God. You can’t be objective or discerning if you’re not in good standing with God. A strong relationship with God gives you the grace and confidence to deal properly with difficult people.
2. Remember over- reacting will only accentuate the conflict and confuse the issue.
3. Hold realistic expectations. Make sure the difficult person can reach your expectations. You may be expecting him to do or be something that is impossible.
4. Quit trying to change the difficult person. Give up your rights and expectations regarding this person. Accept the fact that you can’t change him, but you can change your reactions to him.
5. Refuse to play his games. He may attempt to use you or make you feel guilty or obligated. Recognize the emotional games, and don’t participate.
6. Don’t allow yourself to become the difficult person’s slave. Be honest with yourself and learn to say no.
7. Keep a proper spirit and attitude. Maintaining credibility is the greatest struggle. Don’t let bitterness, anger, or resentment grow.

Are You Being Followed?

1Th 1:6  “And ye became followers of us, and of the Lord, having received the word in much affliction, with joy of the Holy Ghost:”

A young upstart in the ministry once asked an elder more seasoned minister, "When will I know that I am leader in the Church?"  With that the seasoned minister responded simply, “When you are being followed.”

Leadership in God’s church is not position.  It is not having or being in an office.  Being elected by a group of people neither actually causes you to become their leader.  They may have elected or chosen you to do a job, but that does not mean that you are their leader.  Leadership only happens in the church when you are being followed. 

Jesus’ followers literally followed him through deserts, mountains, and stormy seas.  No obstacle was too great for the opportunity to be near to the master.  Here is where many church leaders find out if they’ve made the grade or not.  One statistic tells us that very often after a building program, many pastors too often leave a church to find another pastorate.  Why is that?  Could it be that the parishioners didn’t like the color of the paint the pastor chose?  Did they not like the way he conducted the business of the project?  Was too much money spent?  Too little accomplished?  Wrong decisions?  Bad decisions?  A leader will know if he is truly a leader if he followed even after a storm.

When Jesus’ followers were in the ship that was being tossed by the waves, they cried out to their leader and he healed the situation they were in.  Here is where an elected person becomes a leader of people.  Knowing what to do in the storm will validate your leadership.  Knowing how to act in a crisis elevates you above your fellow.  Not everybody is capable of making tough decisions.   Only a leader worth following knows when and how to step to the forefront and take charge of a chaotic situation.

Shut Up and March

While in Bible College many years ago I was fortunate enough to be selected for the Chorale. It was a big thing to make the Chorale. We were to go on a two-week tour during the summer break. It was the highlight of our summer. I don't know why, but recently one of the songs we sang during that summer tour has been on my mind. I can't remember much of the song except the main line of the chorus, which was also the title of the song. It was called, "Shut up and March".

The theme of the song centers around the idea that talk can only do so much good. There is a time to quit talking and a time to get on with the business at hand. I frequently tell my employees, "A little less chatter and a little more clatter, please." I think you get the idea.

When Israel fled from Egypt after 400 years of slavery they thought they had gained their freedom. The Pharaoh had finally relented and allowed them to go. On their very first night of freedom, they set up camp on the shores of the Red Sea. I can imagine how their spirits were soaring. They were looking forward to a bright future. However, in a moment's notice, their freedom was taken from them again. The Pharaoh had changed his mind. He had assembled his mighty army and come to take Israel back. When Israel saw the Egyptian Army they panicked and began to cry out to God. They began to curse Moses for leading them out.

When this barrage of words came against Moses, he responded with some of the most inspiring words in Scripture;

Ex 14:13-14

13 And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will shew to you to day: for the Egyptians whom ye have seen to day, ye shall see them again no more for ever.

14 The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.

Storm the Gates - Part 4

John Bunyan’s book The Holy War describes the capture and re-taking of Mansoul. The gates were taken advantage of by Diabolus and his armies because they were not guarded properly. When King Shaddai decided that he was going to gain control of it again, he chose to assault the gates also. The Eye Gate and the Ear Gate were the primary ways of going back into the city. So he determined that he would have his best men to attack the Ear Gate. It literally shook while these men assaulted it. While the allegory is best understood as preaching that is being used to reason with the Ear Gate, Bunyan does an excellent job in describing the ways that it falls back to the control of King Shaddai.

The first to assault the Ear Gate was Captain Boanerges and his first assistant, Mr. Thunder. The second man to assault the gate was Captain Conviction and his first assistant, Mr. Sorrow. The third man sent in is Captain Judgment and Mr. Terror. Obviously Bunyan is describing the most effective tones of evangelistic preaching. Although all of these techniques, authority, passion, conviction, godly sorrow, judgment, and a fear of the judgment awaiting every man, it appears that much of this kind of preaching has fallen by the wayside.

Captain Judgment and Mr. Terror (knowing the terror of the Lord, we persuade men; 2 Cor. 5:11) are dressed in red uniforms with an insignia of a burning furnace. When he stepped up to speak immediately after Captain Conviction, his words rang out.

‘O ye, the inhabitants of the town of Mansoul, that have lived so long in rebellion and acts of treason against the King Shaddai, know that we come not today to this place, in this manner, with our message of our own minds, or to revenge our own quarrel; it is the King, my Master, that hath sent us to reduce you to your obedience to him; the which if you refuse in a peaceable way to yield, we have commission to compel you thereto. And never think of yourselves, nor yet suffer the tyrant Diabolus to persuade you to think, that our King, by his power, is not able to bring you down, and to lay you under his feet; for he is the former of all things, and if he touches the mountains, they smoke. Nor will the gate of the King’s clemency stand always open; for the day that shall burn like an oven is before him; yea, it hasteth greatly, it slumbereth not.

Not Too Far From Home

As pastors and spiritual leaders we have many things on our plates.  We have schedules, deadlines and appointments to fulfill.  Our calendars are filled up with church meetings and conferences before we even get a chance to plan a family vacation.  We run out of room to write in our daily planners.  We are busy with Kingdom work.  We are constantly about our Father's business.  It would be all too easy to just quit and justify our quitting with being "burnt out."  However, if we could see with our spiritual eyes just how close we are to reaching our final destination.  If we could know exactly how close we are to the coming of the Lord, we would work faster and harder than we have ever worked before.  We would load up on Bible studies and go teach our whole neighborhood the Word of God.  If we could only see!

In 1952, young Florence Chadwick stepped into the waters of the Pacific Ocean off of Catalina Island, determined to swim to the shore of mainland California.  She'd already been the first woman to swim the English Channel both ways.  The weather was foggy and chilly; she could hardly see the boats accompanying her.  Still, she swam for fifteen hours.  When she begged to be taken out of the water along the way, her mother, in a boat alongside, told her she was close and that she could make it.  Finally, physically and emotionally exhausted, she stopped swimming and was pulled out.  It wasn't until she was on the boat that she discovered the shore was less than half a mile away.  At a news conference the next day she said, "All I could see was the fog... I think if I could have seen the shore, I would have made it."

Busyness Or Fruitfulness

In John chapter 15, Jesus lets us know that if we are going to be a part of the vine, we are going to have to be fruitful. Do we truly understand what that means.? Often times we allow ourselves to be overwhelmingly busy with things that will never be fruitful.  Much of a minister’s time is spent on things that could be delegated.

People will let you do all the work if you let them. They will smile at you, thank you and tell you that you are the greatest thing that ever happened to their church. Ultimately however, you have to ask yourself, what am I really accomplishing that is relative to my calling.

The scriptures tell us to make our calling and election sure.  It’s important that we settle in our minds what our calling is. Yet, this is saying more than that to us than this. It is telling us also to know our job description. I have learned by Pastoring, that people will let the Pastor mop the floors, shovel the sidewalks, cut the grass, and nearly every other menial task of the church if he lets them. There is a certain source of self-gratification that comes with having done some manual labor. It is even good exercise. However, we truly have to ask ourselves, “Is this my calling?  Did God call me to this city to mop the kitchen floor and to cut the grass? Did he call me here to teach every single Bible Study?” If you answered yes to those questions, then keep at it. However, you are about to find that the human body is only capable of so much. As well, your mind can only take in so much information.

If however, you were called to that city to Preach the Gospel and Pastor a church, you may need to learn the art of delegation.

Sustaining Hope: First Steps/Next Steps

What does sustaining hope mean to you?  

We live in a world of epidemic uncertainty from politics to the financial world.   Even religious views and positions have taken changed dramatically in recent years.  Ours is a world with changing opinions and attitudes about God and His church. How people thought about the church 20 years ago is much different than how their children feel about it today.  

How does one stay resolute in Hope?  Those who feel a call of God to preach His Word to this ever-changing world should guard themselves from the elements that would discourage or dissuade them from the call to "sustain hope."

Sustaining hope means being encouraged when everyone else is discouraged.  It means keeping your head up and showing people faith even when situations look their darkest.  But, how does one stay encouraged?  How do they keep that positive mental attitude when life is hitting them the hardest?

Bi-Vocational Ministry - Your Family

What If Everyone Tithed

The following was a excerpt from chapter 2 of the EBook intitled Where Your Treasure Is...

You can find out more about this incredible tool and related resources to help your church increase it's tithe and giving at http://www.pastoralhelps.com/training/where-your-treasure-is-teaching-set-edownload-w/cd

What are the possibilities if every Christian in America tithed ten percent of their increase to the Kingdom?

We can imagine those possibilities through a recent CNN article about tithing....

The churches of the U.S. last year received about $4 billion in donations. If the 112 million Americans who claim a religious affiliation had given one tenth— the traditional tithe—of their personal income to churches, that total could have topped $25 billion.

It takes money to advance the Kingdom of God in this world yet, according to this article, the average Christian in America gives only $35.71 to God’s work each year. And we wonder why America is straying so far from God.

Jesus said in...

Matthew 6:21 KJV

21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Notice this verse reads the opposite of the way we think. We think that wherever our heart is, our treasure will be also. Or whatever our passion is, that is what we will support.

That is not what Jesus said...and His ways are above our ways.

Jesus said that our heart is the follower, not the leader.

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Our heart will follow our treasure...What a revelation!

This is what commitment is all about…