Home Friendship Groups - The Individual

I doubt there has ever been a day or society more dysfunctional than the one we are living in today.

Children are growing up in homes with absent and all too often abusive fathers and mothers. These children grow up in an emotionally or physically abusive atmosphere. One recent statistic stated that 1/3 of the homes in America are verbally abusive homes. Where husbands stop short of hitting their wives, but instead wound them with words that cut deep into her heart and emotional make up. Many husbands are grown men with childhood scars that leave them wounded little boys for the rest of their lives. These same men are often emotionally unable to minister to the sensitive needs of their own children and thus a new generation of dysfunctional adults are born.

The individual is wounded, emotionally scarred and hurting spiritually. There is in America a vacuum of need in the individual's life. It may well be said that there has never been a time when this vacuum has been greater.

We have a Savior who can answer the needs of the individual, yet with this wonderful touch of God on our lives, we are all too often unable to transfer God's loving touch to the hurting, needy individual.

Where is the catalyst that will bring Christ to this hurting world? The catalyst is the Church, yet the catalyst is sometimes unable to accomplish her part. We have to ask ourselves, why? The disciples tried their best to shut Blind Bartimaeus up. They were so inebriated with their own relationship with Jesus that they almost angrily tried to shoo Bartimaeus away. Never noticing his need, they said, "Leave the Master alone".

The individual in America is an emotional mess, with wounds and scars that alcohol, drugs and psychologists cannot heal. The Church is this person's only hope. However, in the traditional church setting, the individual is not always wholly ministered to. Many people have needs that cannot be completely met in the traditional church service. If a silent poll were taken in the average church, I believe we would be surprised to hear what some people would say concerning their personal, spiritual and emotional needs being met.

In the Home Friendship Group setting, the individual has an opportunity to not only be ministered to, but to minister to others. The Bible does tell us to "edify one another". A true family unit is developed when adult members share in the responsibility of preparing food for fellowship times, praying & worshiping together, caring for the children of the group, and hosting meetings in one another's homes.

Are You In Way Over Your Head?

I don't want to be so presumptuous as to speak for everyone in ministry, so allow me to speak from my experience;

I often feel overwhelmed and under qualified at that task that God has set before me. I sometimes wonder if I will be able to communicate what I feel so strongly about in a fashion that would cause those who hear me to feel the same passion I feel. I wonder if I can motivate the Church to move in the direction I believe God wants it to move. I feel especially burdened with these thoughts when I am ministering in an outreach setting where the people have not yet heard the Apostolic Message. (with this group, I may have only one chance) No doubt you have felt the same way.

Early in my ministry, I figured this feeling would dissipate over time as my experience grew. But it hasn't. I still feel overwhelmed and under qualified, even more so than before. Yet, now, I have come to understand this is how God wants me to feel. When I lose this feeling, I am on my way down.

What I am describing is not so much a lack of confidence in one's self. I am not describing someone who is fearful or timid of people and pulpit ministry, but rather someone who is humble. God requires humility in every leader. Without humility you will never reach your people. The moment you feel like you have everything in control is the moment you lose control. The message that you just know is going to fill the altars is going to flop. Pride has no place in ministry. Pride will backfire every time. Yet, when you feel like you are in way over your head or when you feel like you don't have the words to say, God will always make up the difference.

What’s the holdup?

Here’s a line you can use while waiting in line at the local gas station, but never at the local bank.  Not too long ago while standing in line waiting to cash my check at my bank, a gentleman at the window next to me began to grow impatient with the banks teller.  A bit angrily he asked her “What’s the holdup?”  Needless to say, all the banks employees immediately looked alarmed and worried.  They did not hear the entire question the man asked, all they heard was the word “holdup”.  You can imagine why the bank’s employees became alarmed when the word holdup was used in this setting.  Especially when used with a bit of anger.

What’s the holdup?  What’s stopping your church from having revival?  What’s keeping your ministry from fulfilling its vision?  What obstacles stand in your way?

We oftentimes say we're waiting on God in certain situations.  We say things like, “It will happen in God’s timing.”  or “We’re just waiting on God.”   In reality however, God is most often waiting on us.  He is not a God who is late or tardy.  He’s not so busy that He barely has enough time to get everything done that He needs to do in the course of a day.  His calendar is not so full that He has to cancel appointments at the last minute or push your needs off to another day in order to meet somebody else’s needs.

He is all sufficient.  He’s always on time.  His resources never run out.  He created time, so time is not a problem for Him.  He created the heavens and the earth, so resources are never an issue for Him.  His ways are above our ways. His understanding goes beyond human reason. 

God is not the source of delay.  It’s important for us to understand that at no point since His death on the cross has God delayed any good thing.  He is not the reason your church is not having revival today.  He is not the reason visitors do not attend your church.  It is not His desire that any in your city, town, hamlet, village, neighborhood, or family should perish.  It is His complete desire that they would come to the knowledge of full Truth.   He wants them to join your church.  His complete desire is that every man woman boy and girl in your city would be in church worshiping Him and hearing His Word this Sunday morning.

If God’s perfect will were performed this Sunday morning, there is no way possible that your church could contain the kind of growth that God would give it.  The exponential explosion of growth that your church would experience if God’s will were accomplished, would blow the minds of every evangelist, visionary, and revivalist.

Leadership – Working Smarter, Not Harder

How do you evaluate your performance as a Christian leader? I hope it’s not just by how hard you work or how good your intentions are. Listed are 15 points to use as a gauge of leadership effectiveness:

1. Leaders know their No. 1 assignment is to develop others. The find joy in giving a new skill to someone they have a glimmer of vision for. Leaders develop other leaders; non-leaders are interested only in self-development.
2. Leaders understand the “WOW factor.” The WOW factor means a commitment to a standard of excellence that goes beyond the call of duty.
3. Leaders see what is really going on. They understand that parking-lot attendants aren’t just parking cars; they are forming a first impression and winning friends. Effective preachers realize that when they are preaching, something more is happening; They are building faith and bringing healing. Anointed musicians know they aren’t just playing music; they are opening hearts.
4. Leaders are people of action. They do. They don’t just talk. This is one of the key factors that sets the leaders apart from the followers.
5. Effective leaders have dealt with their insecurities. Leaders make room for others. They seldom feel threatened and are happy to make room for the growth of those they lead.
6. Leaders don’t care who gets the credit. The success of the cause is more important than the need for a personal ego boost.
7. Leaders constantly find new ways to include people in the action. Only a small portion of the work is done by the leaders themselves.

Shut Up and March

While in Bible College many years ago I was fortunate enough to be selected for the Chorale. It was a big thing to make the Chorale. We were to go on a two-week tour during the summer break. It was the highlight of our summer. I don't know why, but recently one of the songs we sang during that summer tour has been on my mind. I can't remember much of the song except the main line of the chorus, which was also the title of the song. It was called, "Shut up and March".

The theme of the song centers around the idea that talk can only do so much good. There is a time to quit talking and a time to get on with the business at hand. I frequently tell my employees, "A little less chatter and a little more clatter, please." I think you get the idea.

When Israel fled from Egypt after 400 years of slavery they thought they had gained their freedom. The Pharaoh had finally relented and allowed them to go. On their very first night of freedom, they set up camp on the shores of the Red Sea. I can imagine how their spirits were soaring. They were looking forward to a bright future. However, in a moment's notice, their freedom was taken from them again. The Pharaoh had changed his mind. He had assembled his mighty army and come to take Israel back. When Israel saw the Egyptian Army they panicked and began to cry out to God. They began to curse Moses for leading them out.

When this barrage of words came against Moses, he responded with some of the most inspiring words in Scripture;

Ex 14:13-14

13 And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will shew to you to day: for the Egyptians whom ye have seen to day, ye shall see them again no more for ever.

14 The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.

Signs You Need A Church Administrator

Here are five symptoms that indicate you need a church administrator to help with the load:

1.  More than 25% of your time is spent on church administration. Pastors often find themselves attending to administrative needs that are beyond the scope of a secretary’s authority. This may include tasks such as directing the volunteers who clean the church, reviewing the accounts payable and managing the building maintenance.

2.  Your administrative tasks are increasing – with no relief on the horizon. A growing church will generate an ever-increasing amount of administrative tasks. Although the financial strength of the church is a key factor in determining the right time to hire an administrator, the problem of administrative overload will have to be faced and resolved sooner or later.

3.  You can’t seem to find enough time for prayer and sermon preparation. Too many hours spent on administration can result in a starving flock because your times with the Lord and your personal study of the Scriptures have been neglected.

How soon do you...

How soon do you begin training people in leadership positions.  Well, let me ask you – how long do you wait to help a baby walk?  Until they learn to do it on their own?  No, early in their development, you take them by the hands, lift them up, steady them and one step at a time you help them learn balance, endurance and strength.  If you wait until a person is already involved in leadership to use them, they may have gotten their leadership skills from a source such as the corporate world where the same values are not shared in the church.  Start working with people early.  Trust them.  Some will fail and embarrass you.  Others will succeed and astound you.

How soon do you use them in leadership positions?  Generally before you feel they are 100% ready.  There is always a need for leadership help in the church.  You will find that as soon as you begin raising up a person in the church for a position, God will begin raising up a position in the church for a person.  The reason many churches do not have certain ministries in their churches is not because the needs are not there for those ministries, it is because there are not people ready to lead those ministries.

How soon do you move someone out of a ministry?  As soon as you have another ministry to advance that person to and someone to take their place.  Never leave someone in a position for years if that person has the ability to excel into another office or ministry in the church.

Lead More Manage Less

Causing growth in a church and leading God’s people is a challenge.  Looking through the scripture one quickly notices that no leader of God’s people found his role easy.

It often seems that our job as ministers is more reactive than proactive.  It’s important to understand that while there will always be a needed degree of reactive management, there also needs to be a healthy measure of proactive leadership. 

One doesn’t need to pastor long before he/she finds themselves becoming bogged down with the daily routine of managing a congregation.  Your own list of duties preformed regularly would be very comparable to many other Pastors and church leaders.   As I communicate more and more with church leaders around the globe, I am surprised to find that even though regions and languages may differ, there are often, very similar “People Problems” that Pastors have to deal with.

Managers organize. They report on what is. Their role is to assign and control people.  Leaders on the other hand cast vision.  They offer what could be.  Their role is to align and motivate people.  Notice the difference between these two leadership styles.  One is managing what already exists and the other is moving the church forward into new growth and greater increase.

Nearly all pastors and church leaders perform both management and leadership roles.  An imbalanced church is often one whose Pastor and leadership team has succumbed to one role or the other.  It is the Pastor who has lost his zeal for growth so he simply manages what is already happening.  Or it is the Pastor who constantly promotes growth and new programs, but does not provide constant management for the growth that happens.

Have I lost you?  Are you already saying, “Now wait a minute.  I can’t do it all!”  You are right.  You can’t.  As much as you are talented, gifted, anointed and blessed, you are not Solomon.  Moses couldn’t do it all and neither can you.  In fact, the church leader that attempts to do all the management themselves will be overridden with the load of caring for God’s people. 

This is why our Lord brings us other people into the church.  Many Pastors overlook the people resources in their congregation.  Since they lack the ability to trust others to a task, many Pastors fail to allow the talents of their congregation to become invested. 

Moses had his captains of fifties and thousands.  You too have been given certain individuals who can come beside your ministry to assist you in maintaining the growth from the vision you cast. 

Do you find yourself routinely doing the job of the church janitor?  Did you fix or repair something around the church lately?  Are you the office manager?  Are you the one who adds ink to the printer?  Are you the only one visiting and praying for the sick?  Who does the computing and tallying of numbers to record progress?

Addicted To Anger?

Anyone can become angry.  That is easy.  But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way, that is not easy. - Aristotle

Some of you will not appreciate us quoting from Aristotle, but you have to admit, the guy has a good point.  Anger can eat a person up.  Your true potential as a minister of God can be thwarted by un-harnessed anger.

People who explode and express anger easily can cause great harm to those they are called to encourage.  It’s important for us to understand anger and its potential to destroy.

Exploding because someone hurt you.  When most people get hurt they cry out.  This is natural.  But it is not healthy to express anger every time someone hurts your feelings. 

A good leader has the ability to harness his anger and even displace it toward healthy and more productive avenues.  Mistreating someone because they hurt you is not just.  It is bullying. 

It is entirely possible that the person who hurt you did it unintentionally and without malice.  You would be wise to forgive them quickly and swallow that anger before you create a fissure in a relationship that cannot be mended.

Being addicted to anger.  Some people love to be angry.  They enjoy the feeling of superiority they get when they have told someone off.   They actually look for opportunities to get after someone or give someone a hard time.  Certain hormones even create a strong physical sensation when they really get mad. 

These people are addicted to this hormone and the emotion of anger and have no place in church leadership.  It is important to be a person of peace.  If you find yourself constantly getting angry at others for little reasons, you might be addicted to anger.  Just like any other addict, you can actually build up a tolerance for this drug.  Once this happens, you will find it necessary to constantly become angrier in order to get the same euphoria.  This could end in a terrible way if you do not get deliverance from this addiction. 

Using anger to exploit.  Most people learn to exploit by anger at a very early age.  Babies learn quickly to cry out in anger when they are not getting what they want.  They will use anger tantrums to control their parents who simply want to appease them.

These same people grow up believing that they can use anger to get their way all the time.  On the job, they will use anger to cause others to cave into their demands.  These people may not stomp their feet in the workplace or church office, but you know when they are mad and they will use this to control others.