Identity Crisis Times Two

I am the second born in a family of five siblings. My older brother is a little less than two years older than me. While growing up, I can remember my mother dressing me exactly like my older brother. This happened quite frequently, especially while we were young. I remember people asking her if we were twins. I thought that was really strange since I was two years younger, smaller and did not look like my brother at all. (I am better looking) Then my twin sisters were born. Identical twins. They were the cutest little girls. They looked exactly alike. Even until recently their husbands have mistaken their identity. This has led to many interesting moments in our family.

I don't know what mom was thinking, but after the twins were born the matching outfit thing became more regular. I caught up to my brother quickly in size and for a number of years it actually looked like there were two sets of twins in the family. I admit it probably looked cool to have two sets of twins. We drew a lot of attention from people in churches, restaurants and malls. Everywhere we went, people would crowd around the 'church twins'. They thought it was cute, but it was actually an identity crisis times two.

As I grew older, I did not appreciate being dressed like my brother, and he felt the same way. It wasn't so cool anymore. We weren't twins and were not anything alike. I didn't want to be like my brother and he didn't want to be like me. In fact, we wanted to be as different from one another as possible. My twin sisters came to feel the same way. Thankfully, mom gave up on the 'two sets of twins' thing and our unique identities were preserved.

We live in a world today of 'identity crisis times two'. Everybody wants to be like somebody else. Look like somebody else. Talk like somebody else. Live like somebody else. It is no different in the church. It is part of man's nature. We want to preach like somebody else. Sing like somebody else. Build a church like somebody else. Inherently, we look to others successes and desire the same for ourselves.

Take Time For What Matters

Understand the value of your time. In the corporate world, managers are encouraged to assess the actual dollar value of their time. This helps the person and their staff understand that time equals money. As much as the church is not focused on money as the corporate world is, a minister should understand that his time is very valuable and it is limited.

Invest your time wisely. Understand that you only have so much time to invest in a given ministry, project or person. Make the best use of it. Don’t allow distractions or other people’s agendas to keep you from staying on track. A minister should be allowed the same courtesy as any other professional when it comes to his time.

Think of your time like you think of your money. You would never think of investing your money unwisely or just wasting it on every person would ask you for it. You would consider wisely where it should be spend and on who. Time is more valuable than your money, invest it wisely.

Set aside time each day to prioritize the demands on your time. Yes, you should be allowed to decide how your time should be spent. Prioritizing the demands of your time will allow you to spend time in areas where it is most needed and where the greatest return will come from it.

Are You Being Followed?

1Th 1:6  “And ye became followers of us, and of the Lord, having received the word in much affliction, with joy of the Holy Ghost:”

A young upstart in the ministry once asked an elder more seasoned minister, "When will I know that I am leader in the Church?"  With that the seasoned minister responded simply, “When you are being followed.”

Leadership in God’s church is not position.  It is not having or being in an office.  Being elected by a group of people neither actually causes you to become their leader.  They may have elected or chosen you to do a job, but that does not mean that you are their leader.  Leadership only happens in the church when you are being followed. 

Jesus’ followers literally followed him through deserts, mountains, and stormy seas.  No obstacle was too great for the opportunity to be near to the master.  Here is where many church leaders find out if they’ve made the grade or not.  One statistic tells us that very often after a building program, many pastors too often leave a church to find another pastorate.  Why is that?  Could it be that the parishioners didn’t like the color of the paint the pastor chose?  Did they not like the way he conducted the business of the project?  Was too much money spent?  Too little accomplished?  Wrong decisions?  Bad decisions?  A leader will know if he is truly a leader if he followed even after a storm.

When Jesus’ followers were in the ship that was being tossed by the waves, they cried out to their leader and he healed the situation they were in.  Here is where an elected person becomes a leader of people.  Knowing what to do in the storm will validate your leadership.  Knowing how to act in a crisis elevates you above your fellow.  Not everybody is capable of making tough decisions.   Only a leader worth following knows when and how to step to the forefront and take charge of a chaotic situation.

Don’ts For Preachers

1. Don’t live beyond your income.

2. Don’t be a stingy person.

3. Don’t preach your doubts.

4. Don’t preach so much against things but preach principles.

5. Don’t be tempted on any occasion not to preach your best.

6. Don’t be looking for a larger field or another call.

7. Don’t be a pessimist.

8. Don’t deal in off-color stories.

9. Don’t lose your temper in public.

10. Don’t overlook the Bible when looking for preaching texts.

Fish Bowl Mentality

Few people will deny the theory that a local church stops growing as the size of the church building reaches 80% capacity.  The reason for this is purely human and not so spiritual.  Most people simply will not tolerate feeling crowded in the pews.  Using chairs instead of pews helps this problem somewhat, but eventually the congregants feel like their space is being invaded and soon become uncomfortable.

However, this is not the biggest reason for a church's lack of growth or the reaching of certain size and then growth stopping. 

We use the analogy that a fish will only grow to a certain size in a small fish bowl but in a larger pond for instance, the fish can grow much larger.  I’m not so sure however, that God’s church should so easily be compared to a fish.  I suggest that the building however, is not necessarily the problem in most cases.  In fact, we have all seen churches who were literally bursting out at the seams.  In many parts of the world today, revival is happening at an unprecedented rate.  Pews are packed and chairs are in the aisles.  Some churches are utilizing 2-3 services per day to accommodate the crowds. 

While it is true that most people don’t like to be in a crowded atmosphere, it is also true that people will come when they are being fed.  Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love me Peter?”   Peter responded in the affirmative and when he did, our Lord told him to “Feed my sheep.”  He did not tell Peter to house them or get them plenty of exercise.  He told him to “Feed Them."

The Role of a Mentor

As common as the word mentor is in society, and in the business culture in general, when it comes to many religious organizations and the individuals that comprise them, mentoris often still a mysterious term. Confusion and misperceptions abound, and yet mentoring has been around since the dawn of man.

Just the mention of the word mentor causes an insecure leader or pastor to manifest jealousy, others to cry out that "I already have mentors in my life", and a few to simply confess they still do not know why they would even need a mentor.

Nonetheless the reality remains the same . . . the leadership actions of most leaders validate their need of a mentor. Every new endeavor of life often brings to the leader a need for mentoring. In essence, business training seminars and workshops is a multi-billion dollar industry because it is mentoring in real life to those desiring to improve and advance in their skills and knowledge.

Please read on.

A mentor is not some mysterious know-it-all guru that floats in and out of your life dressed in a white robe and riding on a cloud. Neither is a mentor a genie in a bottle that appears with the answer when you have a need and rub him correctly. Nor is a mentor a replacement for the pastor and influential individuals in your life.

A mentor is someone with the willingness, temperament, skill sets, gifts, talents, compassion, understanding, whit, intelligence, experience, and general life balance that shoulders up beside you to enable you to succeed at a higher level in life. A mentor is someone who cares about you enough to invest him or herself into you.

Whether paid or unpaid a mentor places more value in your life, aspirations, and goals than you ever return to them. Their primary reward is in helping, steering, advising, and equipping you toward the success they believe you have the potential for.

Every great leader attributes their success largely and in part to the influencers that played a key role in their pathway to success. Those influencers are mentors.

Seral Succession

All it takes to start a fire is a little fuel, the right atmospheric conditions, and a source of ignition, perhaps as small as a tiny spark. If circumstances are right, a single blade of grass once ignited can build into an inferno that burns and ravages countless acres of prime forest. Humble beginnings can transmute into raging fire storms, exploding trees, molten sand, and death. The aftermath of such devastation causes one to wince in regret at the horrible and blackened scars left behind where beauty once stood. As unnatural as it may appear it is but another witness of the beauty of the healing and creative powers of God. Most pristine forests have at one time or another been destroyed by fire, but eventually they grow back stronger and more beautiful than ever.  It is a cycle that must be understood.

Seral Succession is an ecological principle in which, over time, the natural biological systems become so developed that they begin to atrophy and bog themselves down. A strong forest becomes weakened and diseased because of the vines, weeds and assorted parasitical vegetations that erode its strength. New growth is repressed and beauty lies dormant because the system prohibits it. Extreme cases may require a controlled burn - an act of destruction - before beauty, order and strength can return. The temporary and painful state of charred ugliness is quickly forgotten once the beauty of a healthy forest burst though.

The same principle applies to agriculture. It is not uncommon for farmers to burn certain fields in anticipation of planting a future crop. Soon afterward the tractor tills the soil and much of the ugliness disappears. As horrible as the blackened field may have first appeared, its memory will be completely erased as spring bursts forth in a display of brilliant colors and verdant growth where once only charcoal and ash had been.

In effect, the fire’s devastation produces healing by burning away the undergrowth that prevents fresh, new vegetation. The ash becomes a natural fertilizer.

How to Keep Those We Reach

A question haunts many conscientious leaders. Although many people receive the Holy Spirit, many do not remain. Their new birth often proves to be more of a stillbirth. How can we reduce the number of stillbirths and lead newborn Christians into meaningful relationships with the Lord and the church?

Statistics reveal that unless a new convert is able to develop six or seven new relationships in the church within 9 months, he will probably leave the church. To compensate for this, we need to develop a caring community to nurture and integrate these people into the life of the church. Such a program will include:

• A. A strong commitment from the leadership, not only to reap, but to keep the harvest;
  
• B. A method for nurturing new converts; and
  
• C. A way to help the new convert make friends in the church.

Here is a method that is working in several churches.

1. Start with a new convert’s follow- up class to be taught by the pastor. He may later turn it over to someone else with the ability to care for, teach, and nurture new converts.
   
2. Find one or two couples who are outreach oriented, motivated by love, and loyal to the pastor to work in the area of new convert follow- up.

Putting People First - 10 attributes of a Leader

What attributes qualify us for leadership? Here is a few suggestions on how these qualities might be put to use.

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1. Integrity – Where integrity is at stake, the leader works publicly. Behavior is the only score that’s kept. Lose integrity, and a leader will find himself in a directionless organization going nowhere.

2. Vulnerability – Vulnerable leaders trust in the abilities of other people and allow those who follow them to do their best. An invulnerable leader can be only as good as his own performance.

3. Discernment – This attribute lies somewhere between wisdom and judgement. Leaders are required to see many things (pain, beauty, anxiety, loneliness, and heartbreak). Two elements to keep your eye on: the detection of nuance and the perception of changing realities. What kind of antennae do you have?

4. Empathy – Without understanding the cares, yearnings, and struggles of the human spirit, how could anyone presume to lead a group of people? Person skills always precede professional skills.

5. Courage – When conflict must be resolved, when justice must be defined and carried out, when promises need to be kept, when the organization needs to hear who counts – these are the times when leaders act with ruthless honesty and live up to their covenant with the people they lead.

6. Humor – A compassionate sense of humor requires a broad perspective on the human condition and an accounting for many points of view. You’ll find a sense of humor essential to living with ambiguity.