Your Life and Ministry Is A Balancing Act

Balance in life does not come naturally.  For many of us, our lives are lived in extremes.  Incredible things happen when ministry and life are lived at their fullest. The problem however, is that when one area of our life is lived at an extreme, the others become out of balance. 

Spending larger amounts of time in one area causes the other areas of our life to become anemic.  Few vocations understand this more than the ministry.  Our dedication to God and commitment to His church often cause us to have an imbalanced allocation of energy and time resources.   Sadly, our families are too often the benefactors of the lessor of the imbalance.

Someone once said, “Time waits for no one!”  How true!  We really do only have one life and one chance at making the moments of every single day of that life count.  Moments that are divided between our jobs, families and ministries.  Moments that we will never get back.  Moments that turn hours into days.  Days into years and years into lifetimes. 

• How do you manage all those moments? 
• What are the priorities that you have set to budget those precious moments? 
• What rules have you put into place to guard the distribution of those moments? 
• Is your life so frenzied that you really have no idea who should get the best of “you”?

Back Row Bullies

They may not sit in the back row.  In fact many times they sit closest to the front.  Most would say they are “Faithful” as they seldom miss a service.  They appear to be the backbone of the church.  They pay their tithes.  They dress right.  They look right, but once you really get to know them, you find that they are the Back Row Bullies of the church.

These people all too often run the church.  They decide who is going to do what.  They decide how loud the music is and what color the walls of the sanctuary are going to be.  Little happens in the church that they don’t know about and don’t in some great way influence the out come of.  Theirs is a mission.  Theirs is a job that nobody else will do.  Without them they know that the church would fall apart.   They are the Back Row Bullies.

No one is quite sure how they gained such influence.  Maybe it has to do with the amount of money they gave at one time or even still.  They may have family within the church whom they have great influence over.  Their measure of sacrifice is probably great, but nonetheless, they are Back Row Bullies.

We all know what a bully is.  It’s someone who pushes their weight/influence/resources around to cause you to do something you would not ordinarily do.  Let me break that down a bit.  You ordinarily would not put up with someone creating division in the church behind your back, but since they give so much money…  You otherwise would not allow them to have the position in the church that they have, but because their influence over so many in the church is strong… 

Live Personal Mentoring

If you are like most Christian church and business leaders you have already discovered that "quick-fix" leadership solutions simply do not work.

At best they are Band-Aids that only temporarily mask the real problems. Perhaps you also have experienced the frustration experienced after spending precious dollars to attend conference after conference and realizing that the motivation received wore off shortly after returning to the real world at home. Or maybe you are one of the countless leaders who visit the bookstore for the latest catchy title, only to buy another book that never gets finished and simply winds up looking good on the bookshelf behind your desk. Impressive but ineffective.There is a solution to the leadership dilemma. For many pastors the real solution is less costly than hosting an evangelist, or for a business leader to hire a consultant. The real solution is one-on-one live mentoring with a gifted and seasoned professional who is focused on you and your needs.

Dr. Fred Childs is highly solicited by Christian church and business leaders for personal mentoring. He offers invaluable understanding, insights, and solutions to leaders on a wide range of topics.ChurchMentor.net has an inexpensive monthly membership fee that introduces its members to an abundance of relevant leadership materials in written, audio, and video formats. However, now the services being offered are expanding to include live mentoring as well.

The Seven Habits of the Highly Ineffective Pastor

What would an ineffective pastor look like? Here are seven habits of highly ineffective pastors and how you can avoid them.

• Be reactive. Effective people are proactive. They take responsibility for their lives and aren't swayed by their physical or social environments. Being proactive means responding by choices and values, not by emotions or circumstances.
  
• Focus only on short-term results. A good habit says, "Begin with the end in mind." This attitude will help you keep a heavenly perspective throughout your day-to-day work.
  
• Do the least important thing first. An effective pastor will look at all the things in his or her life and prioritize them. The people or items at the top of that list will receive the pastor's first and best attention.
  
• Think win/lose. Truly effective pastors will look for win/win solutions. They find agreements that benefit and satisfy everyone involved. This principle is especially valuable with staff and volunteers.

Accountability – who needs it?

Accountability – “The quality or state of being accountable. – Webster’s dictionary

• Accountability is a binding relationship that develops growth, moral and ethical excellence.
• Accountability is not support therapy an opportunity to allow for excuses.
• When a person becomes accountable to another, they make themselves accountable to someone other than themselves.

Why should we consider becoming accountable to someone else?

• We cannot stand without accountability.  1 Cor 10:12
• Every man/woman should make themselves accountable to at least:
• God
• Their spouse
• Their family
• Those they lead
• Those leaders above them
• At least one other person who could be considered their spiritual mentor.

We are all accountable whether we know it or not.  People are watching us day and night.  They are looking to see if we are who we say we are.  They base their trust and confidence in us according to the level of truth they see in our lives.  If they do not consider our lives to be worthy of their confidence or trust, then our ministry will have no effect on their lives. 

Accountability keeps us from moral and spiritual failure.
Proverbs 27:17  Iron sharpeneth iron: so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” 
Having someone to be accountable to keeps us from ourselves.  Realizing that someone else will judge our actions causes us to “consider our ways”. 

Ministering Amid Pandemonium

As technological progress continues, it axiomatically leads to increasing rates of stress, overload, complexity, and change, speed, debt, and meaninglessness. Yet how can we protect ourselves, or families and our churches from the exhaustion and burnout of our age? The following suggestions may provide some relief, both for you and for those you minister to.

• Put more control in your life.
• Learn to laugh.
• Generate good will. The greatest thing we can do to buffer ourselves against the ravages of stress is to continually spread good will to those around us.
• Limit negatives. Stop negative self- criticism. Limit your time with negative people.
• Stop digging. If you're in a hole, the first rule is to quit digging. If you're overloaded, start saying "NO!"
• Accept your limitations. God is the author of limitations, and He gave them to us for our protection. We violate them at our peril.
• Defend your boundaries. Establish appropriate boundaries and defend them against the onslaught of an extraordinarily demanding world.
• Prune the activity branches. Like new branches on a fruit tree, additional activities and commitments add themselves to our lives every year, often without our permission.
• Value simplicity. No one ever lived a simpler, more unencumbered than Jesus.
• De-accumulate. Everything we own also owns us. Each possession must be cared for, maintained and paid for.
• Control the "paper tumor." Every year the amount of paper and information it contains seems to metastasize without pity. When at all possible, use the "OHIO" rule - "Only Handle It Once."
• Restrain technology. Maintain a healthy skepticism of any new technology and don't buy it unless you can control it.
• Value traditions. Identify the traditions in your personal, family and church life that have special significance and protect them vigorously.
• Establish stability zones. People generally benefit from having certain areas in their lives where change is kept to a minimum, and stability and reliability are assured.
• Move less often. Church leaders are often called on to relocate frequently. But at a time when the rest of the world continues to change so wildly, leaders who have a choice may want to consider the benefits of greater longevity in one position.

Learning To Delegate

One of the keys to Effective Church Leadership is delegating work to others - no one can do everything for themselves. Learn to delegate aspects of your ministry properly, and you will have time to complete the most important needs of the church successfully.

The process of delegation consists of the decision to delegate, the briefing, and the followup. At each of these points, anticipate the potential problems.

The decision: Persuade yourself to delegate. You will not benefit if you lead the Church with the assumption that it takes longer to teach somebody else to do a job than to do it yourself. Delegation has its own rewards. Once somebody has learned a particular task, they will be able to do it in the future without repeated briefings. However, be sure to delegate each job to a person with the appropriate skills, experience and knowledge.

The briefing: Make sure that the person to whom you are delegating clearly understands the brief - what you want them to do and by when. Offer ongoing support and guidance.

The followup: During the course of the project, check the standard of work produced. Provide positive feedback, but beware of overdoing it - there is a narrow line between helpful supervision and debilitating interference.

Delegation does not mean handing over control of a project, but handing over responsibility for certain tasks. Encourage people to work using their own methods, providing they stick to the instructions you have given them. This allows you to utilize their specialized giftedness or to provide them with an opportunity to develop a new area of expertise. One of the common contentions arising out of delegation is conflict over responsibility, so it is vital to define exactly what the person is responsible for.

When Brethren Disagree

How do you handle disagreements among brethren? The following article appeared in Brother T.F. Tenney’s book, “Advice to Pastors and Other Saints.” It gives excellent advice concerning how to get along.

Keep the disagreement in perspective. Don’t reject the person because he or she has a different opinion. A variety of opinions are the spices of life.

Do not transfer the disagreement to other areas. Do not generalize. A two- color piece of literature is more attractive to the world, not when we are monotonously uniform, but when we function as the body of Christ, where one is the eye, another the hand and another the foot. The world will be impressed by our agreement to cooperate and compliment each other, not by all of us being the same, acting the same, or even speaking the same.

Do not question the motives of the person with whom you disagree. If you assume the right of questioning another’s motive, remember you must permit him or her the same privilege.

Do not assume that personal differences are sinful. They are usually due to different cultural, intellectual, and doctrinal positions. Remember this, a person does not necessarily have to be in fellowship with you to be in fellowship with Christ. Some people do not think it’s smoke unless it comes out of their stack.

Those wonderful complainers!

Don't you love them? They add so much to a church or organization. Their destructive attitude is so encouraging. They build faith in all who fall prey to their vile contempt. They're such a blessing!

It is funny though, how some people hate to hear a complaint, but love to be the one complaining. I suppose there are many reasons why a person complains. However, I doubt anyone realizes the full impact of it's destructive ability.

Several years ago, I was working on a job with a fellow leader in the church. We were working the midnight shift in a factory. As the night went on, I found myself complaining to this brother about my situation. At the time I felt justified because it was late and I was tired. I was also hurting emotionally and felt that people in the church should be more sensitive to my families needs. I had a list of reasons why it was OK for me to complain.

It has been over 11 years since that night and I have regretted it ever since. I cannot tell you how many times I have asked God to forgive me for allowing that negative spirit to work through me that night.

The real reason I feel so bad about that particular night, is that in fact the church people had been absolutely wonderful to us. They treated us with respect. They often blessed us financially. They always encouraged us. They took us in when we had nothing to offer them in return and placed us in leadership. As I said they were wonderful to us!

I bare my soul today only to point out how simple it is at times to feel justified to complain. I believe it is true that the majority of people who complain, are complaining about people who they actually owe a great debt of gratitude to.

Some time ago we had a man in our church who was a graduate of the school of complaining. This guy had a Masters degree in it. At first, I thought he had a valid points. However, as the years went by and we all grew weary of his negative verbiage, we also began to see the real problem. In fact he was his own problem.

The people he complained about were actually wonderful people who he owed a great debt to. Even his boss who he often attacked, had to have been an angel to have kept this guy employed. The boss was actually trying to help the man by keeping him on. Yet all the time this guy did nothing but talk bad about him.

This man finally left our church. I am thankful for the strong folks in the church who would not listen to him destroy their Pastor. I am also thankful he is gone. I did not realize at the time how much of my energy was being spent trying to please a man who could never be pleased.

The day after he left, the sky was blue and the birds were again singing. In fact they were singing to me. They were singing me praises and telling me how good I am as a Pastor. They were singing these praises from the tops of the trees for all the world to hear. Opps...sorry about that...reality check! O.K. so it wasn't the birds, but it was one or two wonderful people who attended the church I Pastored. They saw what the man was trying to do and thwarted it with praises.

Praise someone today!