A Husband's Responsibilities - For Men Only

I. He is to love his wife as Christ loved the church.

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband" (Ephesians 5:25-33).

• This is total self-giving love. He can only love his wife to the degree that he receives the love of God. Through this kind of love, he brings a sanctification and cleansing for his wife.

II. He is to be tenderhearted toward his wife.

"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you" (Ephesians 4:32).

"Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye" (Colossians 3:12- 13).

• The one major complaint women give about their husbands is that they are not tenderhearted (sensitive to their feelings). "He just can't show his emotions."

III. He is to be the provider for the family.

"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel" (I Timothy 5:8).

"For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat" (I Thessalonians 3:10).

• God works through the husband and father to provide for the wife and the children. This provision should also include protection from physical or emotional harm.

Essentials in Any Leadership Style

Some leadership styles are role-specific, but several traits of leadership styles seem to work in all congregations.

Twelve Traits For Maximum Effect:

1. Spiritual consciousness. In the Middle Ages, being knighted gave someone a special relationship with the king. Likewise, the words and behavior of Christian leaders point people toward God.

2. Enthusiasm. Meaningful ideas delivered in a dull, listless manner can seem irrelevant. The same ideas communicated with enthusiasm can light the fire of commitment that leads to positive change.

3. Joyful attitude. Joyfulness and a sense of humor help people relax and enjoy their work. They also send the signal that having fun while working together is as important as the work itself.

4. Spiritual optimism. People who dispense the quality of hope in their conversation are appreciated like rain after a drought. They attract allegiance to themselves and their goals.

5. High energy level. Effective leaders can maintain a fast pace and juggle several demands simultaneously. As Lewis Carroll says in Alice in Wonderland, “It takes all the running you can do to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast.”

6. Self- discipline. Some people accomplish two to six times as much as coworkers during a 40-hour week. Such productivity comes from a high-energy level charged by motivation and self-discipline.

7. Positive appearance. Neat apparel and shiny shoes do not bring people into the kingdom of God. But, if the package is shabby, people may not bother to examine its contents.

As A Man Thinketh

I have so many titles for this article running through my head. "Stinking Thinking". "As A Man Thinketh In His Heart". "You Are What You Think". "So Go The Thoughts, So Go The Man". Let me start by asking you a few questions.

1. Are you totally discouraged right now?
   
2. Do you feel overwhelmed?
   
3. Is your mental thought process completely shut down?
   
4. Do you feel trapped?

I have a friend who consistently responds “I’m happy and blessed” when I ask him how he is doing. Now I like this guy, I really do. But, sometimes, I just want to say “get real" when he tells me that. I don’t know, maybe he really is happy all the time. I guess it’s possible. Anything is possible right?!

I’m going to get blasted over this article. I’m going to get tons of emails from the "Happy All The Time Crowd". They’re going to tell me I’ve gone off the deep end. They will let me know that the Christian should always be happy. It’s our right. It’s our obligation. We should always have this enormous smile that tells everyone around us that we are HAPPY.

Christians are not allowed to get bummed out. Christians, especially Christian ministers are definitely not allowed to sink to the cloud of discouragement. A minister should never allow himself to get to a place of feeling down. Right?

Sounds good doesn’t it. But in the real world that’s a bunch of baloney. Just ask the old Prophet of God. One minute he’s killing off 500 false prophets, and wishing he could die the next.

You might agree with me that most preachers are emotional people. Now some people out there are not real emotional, but most of the preachers I know are people who allow emotion to guide them. Now that’s not a bad thing. I’m convinced that the Lord has a hard time using people who are hard to move emotionally. This is why he anointed David to be king when he was only a boy. God said of David, “He’s after my heart”. Other words, he’s a person who is able to touch me with his emotion. Without emotion, David would be led of his own ideas and agenda. But, since he was a person whose heart could be touched, God said, “I’ll use him in ways he never imagined he could be used.”

Emotion is a good thing. We need to be emotional! God is emotional. Look what the scriptures tell us about him.

• He gets angry.
• He gets jealous.
• He laughs.
• He’s emotional!

We, being created in his image are allowed the same privilege of being emotional.

Leadership – Working Smarter, Not Harder

How do you evaluate your performance as a Christian leader? I hope it’s not just by how hard you work or how good your intentions are. Listed are 15 points to use as a gauge of leadership effectiveness:

1. Leaders know their No. 1 assignment is to develop others. The find joy in giving a new skill to someone they have a glimmer of vision for. Leaders develop other leaders; non-leaders are interested only in self-development.
2. Leaders understand the “WOW factor.” The WOW factor means a commitment to a standard of excellence that goes beyond the call of duty.
3. Leaders see what is really going on. They understand that parking-lot attendants aren’t just parking cars; they are forming a first impression and winning friends. Effective preachers realize that when they are preaching, something more is happening; They are building faith and bringing healing. Anointed musicians know they aren’t just playing music; they are opening hearts.
4. Leaders are people of action. They do. They don’t just talk. This is one of the key factors that sets the leaders apart from the followers.
5. Effective leaders have dealt with their insecurities. Leaders make room for others. They seldom feel threatened and are happy to make room for the growth of those they lead.
6. Leaders don’t care who gets the credit. The success of the cause is more important than the need for a personal ego boost.
7. Leaders constantly find new ways to include people in the action. Only a small portion of the work is done by the leaders themselves.

Leaders Love Growth

Only those leaders who act boldly in times of crisis and change are willingly followed.  (Jim Kouzes)

Within the church, God has placed men and women who love to see growth.  It is what keeps us to our tasks.  The lack of increase can kill the joy of our calling so we lean forward looking for any type of progress we can possibly measure.

Growth however, requires change.  Going from where we are presently to a place of increase requires seeing what most people are not able or willing to see.  Seeing change before it happens is called a vision.  Few people are capable of a vision as most would rather stay in a climate that is comfortable.  Comfort however can cause one to never imagine anything better.  A Pastor or congregation who is comfortable with an attendance of 90 will never see a crowd of 300 because they are not desperate enough to make the kinds of changes it would take to gather that kind of increase.

Change means leaving a place that is familiar and going to a place that is unfamiliar.  Few churches are willing to follow even the most seasoned pastor into a place of unfamiliarity.  Here is why so many of our churches stagnate numerically.  This is why the average church in America only runs about 85 people.  Even in cities with populations in the hundreds of thousands, churches often find it hard to get over the 100 person hump. 

Change requires casting a vision.  Within the church it requires faith in the leader who is casting a vision of a place of revival we have not yet seen.  As Moses of old preached of a Promised Land that was ahead, the current day Preacher must be willing to stand in a desert of nothingness and promise something far better than the status quo.  As Joshua shouted, “Let’s cross over this river!” present day church leaders must be willing to look at obstacles as opportunities for miracles instead of places of failure.

No walled city ever came down without some great leader first standing far out front of the crowd and saying it could be done.  No bridge was ever built nor building raised where some imaginative mind did not first dream it.  No church ever grew exponentially without first, the Man or Woman of God casting the vision for it’s growth.

Where are the End Time revivalists who would tell our generation “Jesus is Coming”.  Who are the men and women who will affect the kind of change necessary for a great Later Day outpouring?  Where is the Pastor who will stand in a dormant church and declare “Revival, Growth and Increase”?  

The Honor of the Standard Bearer

Eph 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high [places].

The world has always seemed to be a stage for war.  Tales of armed conflict fill written history.  The Korean War had ended shortly before my arrival on planet Earth.  Vietnam dragged on through my college graduation.  American troops have fought and died in Grenada, Somalia, and our current endeavors in Afghanistan and Iraq.  Regardless of the cause, it seems that there will always be conflict. 

As we look back in history, we see one of the most powerful armies that ever walked the globe, The Roman Legions.  In those ancient days there were no radios, satellite cell phones, or laser guided bombs.  Discipline and order ruled the day.  This army conquered the known world using three basic tenants.

1)    Uniformity.  The centurions all wore the same uniform.  They understood that they were part of something bigger than just themselves.  They carried a flag-type standard called a vexillum, which showed what legion they belonged.  Each century (a 100 man detachment) carried their own standard called a signum.  These standards helped the troops to keep in the right positions during battle.

2)    Communication.  A general would relay his commands to the cornice, (Latin for ‘horn-blower).  Each command had a unique set of sounds.  The cornice had the duty to blow the exact order from his commander.  Under penalty of death he could not, by pride or mistake, change the order he blew through the horn.

3)     Loyalty.  The Legion carried a portrait of the emperor, the imago, this was to remind the troops they owed their loyalty to him.  “. . . just as we make Rome great, it is Rome that makes us great. Without Rome, we are nothing”.  (quote from Caerleon.Net)

The eventual destruction of Rome occurred when they dropped their qualifications for membership in their army.  Where Roman citizenship had been a requirement, outsiders, or barbarians, were allowed in as paid mercenaries.  Discipline and uniformity were dropped in favor of attracting large numbers.  Communication broke down due to language barriers and lack of formal training.  The commands blown through the horn were not understood.  Additionally there was no loyalty to Caesar or Roman culture or values.

Storm the Gates - Part 3

As the attack of Mansoul continued by Prince Emmanuel’s troops, the second captain came to the Ear Gate. The first attack had come from Captain Boanerges who was absolutely confident in what he had to say. Captain Conviction, whose main assistant was Mr. Sorrow, was just as confident but his attack on the Ear Gate came in a bit different manner. Their uniforms they wore were pale and their insignia was the book of the Law that issued a flame of fire. He said to the inhabitants:

‘Hear, O Mansoul! Thou, O Mansoul, wast once famous for innocency, but now thou art degenerated into lies and deceit. Thou hast heard what my brother, the Captain Boanerges, hath said; and it is your wisdom, and will be your happiness, to stoop to, and accept of conditions of peace and mercy when offered, especially when offered by one against whom thou hast rebelled, and one who is of power to tear thee in pieces, for so is Shaddai, our King; nor, when he is angry can anything stand before him. If you say you have not sinned, or acted rebellion against our King, the whole of your doings since the day that you cast off his service (and there was the beginning of your sin) will sufficiently testify against you. What else means your hearkening to the tyrant, and you’re receiving him for your king? What means else your rejecting of the laws of Shaddai, and your obeying of Diabolus? Yea, what means this you’re taking up of arms against, and the shutting of your gates upon us, the faithful servants of your King? Be ruled, then, and accept of my brother’s invitation, and over-stand not the time of mercy, but agree with thine adversary quickly. Ah! Mansoul, suffer not thyself to be kept from mercy, and to be run into a thousand miseries, by the flattering wiles of Diabolus. Perhaps that piece of deceit may attempt to make you believe that we seek our own profit in this our service; but know it is obedience to our King, and love to your happiness, that is the cause of this undertaking of ours.

‘Again I say to thee, O Mansoul, consider if it be not amazing grace that Shaddai should so humble himself as he doth: now he, by us, reasons with you, in a way of entreaty and sweet persuasions, that you would subject yourselves to him. Has he that need of you that we are sure you have of him? No, no; but he is merciful, and will not that Mansoul should die, but turn to him and live.’

Captain Conviction comes in and takes a different but just as effective method of preaching to Mansoul. Where Captain Boanerges relied on authority, Captain Conviction relies on passion and fervor. Notice how that he confronts them with their sin and their rebellion against God. He also establishes the fact that they have sold out their allegiances to a king who is far less superior to what King Shaddai had been toward them. He tells them that their actions are going to cause them increasing misery as time passes on if they do not respond to the gospel call. He tells them that they are to humble themselves before God because this is their only way of escape.

Are You Trained To Fail?

“Have you been trained to fail?”  You have been trained in ministry to fail if you have been taught to do the ministry rather than to train others for ministry.  I am grateful to the teachers who taught me to perform the functions of ministry:  visiting, counseling, marrying, burying, teaching, witnessing, and a host of other duties.  All are needed.  By themselves, however, they help us only to maintain, not to maximize ministry.  We can never be effective ministers until we learn what it means to be a leader and how to function as a leader.  The following are five common ingredients in growing churches:

• (1)  The pastor and the congregation understand their God-given gifts and use them in ministry.
  
• (2) The pastor’s hands-on ministry decreases and the congregation’s increases.
  
• (3) Both the quality and the quantity of ministry increase.
• (4) The pastor’s ministry influence increases as he shares ministry responsibilities with the congregation.
  
• (5) A biblical philosophy of ministry is established.  That is, leadership plus lay ministry equals growth.

How can you build a leadership team and maximize ministry in your church?  The following six steps are proven and effective.

1. Identify the leaders in the church.  Who are the influencers?  These persons may hold formal or informal positions of leadership.  They are the ones to whom others look for decisions.  Write down their names and rank them on a scale of 1 to 10 as to their leadership and influence within the church.
2. Intentionally take time to build relationships with your current and future leaders.  Do not ignore or exclude the others, but focus on developing leaders.

7 Things to Consider When Asked to “Lead the Service”

All too often the people who lead the service mislead it.  These good people whom the Pastor has asked to help out in the service many times serve to cause frustration and confusion in a church service.

Leading a service properly can bring about a move of God that can break every yoke in the service.  Leading it improperly can cause people to go home more bound than they were when they came. 

Every element of the service should prepare the way for the next.  The end result of the service is the move of God in the alter.  When you get in the way of the progression, you kill the potential of what could happen.

Here are a few things to consider when asked to “Lead the service”. 

Keep it moving.  Don’t allow for delays or “dead air” places in the services.  In radio, “dead air” is when you hear silence.  It is also when the producer did his job wrong and did not prepare for those seconds of the day.  It is during this time that many people will change the channel or turn off their radio.  You don’t want this happening in the church service.  “No Dead Air!”

Do not continually comment.  If you are introducing the various singers and elements of the service don’t comment each time on the last person who sang or spoke.  Just introduce the next part of the service.

Be prepared.  Have a written outline of how the service will run.  This way you will not forget any part or aspect of the service.  (Forgetting to have the children’s choir sing when they have practiced all week will get a lot of people upset at you.)

Don’t ramble.  Recently I attended a service where the person who led the service in the Pastor’s leave, killed it with his constant rambling.  He actually spoke more than the preacher did.  He thought he was funny with his jokes and spiritual with his “little messages”.  Needless to say, the congregation did not pay much attention to the preacher when he was finally introduced, since they already heard plenty of oratory from the person leading the service.  I love preaching, but I have to admit, the guy leading this service wore me out.