The Dark Side of Spiritual Abuse -- Part 2

To give a little history as to how some of the heavy-handed authoritative traits came into play among pastors you have to trace back to the charismatic movement. Out of the charismatic movement there was the evolving of a concept called “shepherding.” 

The Latter Rain movement actually had its earliest beginnings in the late 1800’s and was born out of the Methodist and Holiness camp-meeting environment. It would continue to generate momentum and experience growth during the post-World War II years and be much encouraged by the Charismatic movement in the 1960’s and 1970’s. Marked by extreme excess and abuse of the gifts of the Spirit, this activity led to the production of “prophets” who had little use for personal holiness and consecration. After a while it appeared that they only had a desire for their own personal kingdoms to grow.

As time went by these intruders became susceptible to moral and ethical failures. The subsequent fallout from their failures caused many who followed them to be led astray by their repulsive actions. In an effort to recover from these shenanigans a group of leaders came together and formed what was called “The Shepherding Movement.” Bob Mumford, Derek Prince, Charles Simpson, and Don Basham were the primary founders of this loosely formed organization who determined that its sole purpose would be to form a system of personal accountability. Later a fifth leader, Ern Baxter would be added to make up what was referred to as the “Fort Lauderdale Five.”

They decided that their work would be modeled after the pattern of Paul mentoring his sons in the faith, Timothy and Titus. They would work toward building a system of accountability that would form deeper relationships among pastors, ministry development at all levels, and ethical standards with emphasis on moral and financial dealings.

The whole system worked with the idea that anyone who came into the church needed a“shepherd.” After witnessing the moral collapse of several prominent men, this seemed to be a good and necessary thing. Who could object to the need for spiritual leadership and accountability? It became very heavy on authority and control in a manner that even simple decisions of daily living had to be monitored and approved by the pastor/leader of local congregations.

As an example, the leader would have to make the final decisions on car purchases, home mortgages, and job opportunities. In some cases, the “shepherd” would designate who young men and young women would marry to the degree that the marriages were arranged and carried through. The “shepherd” would have almost complete control over the personal finances. The parishioners would bring their paychecks to him and he would cash them and take his cut which was oftentimes more than 10% and give them the remainder. So as you can see the role of the pastor changed into an extreme form of authoritative control.

Some of the characteristics of the Shepherding system are as follow:

• Discipleship only takes place when one is committed to the group, cell ministry, and its leader.

• The only hope of salvation is extreme devotion to the shepherd of the group. This indicates the leader has more power to save than does Jesus Christ.

• Jesus Christ does not work directly in the life of the follower but rather He works through a system of delegated authority that flows down from the shepherd. You are to submit to this man as you would submit to God.

• Our relationship with God is not primary but rather it works in tandem with the power of a shepherd who has total control over the present, material world we live in.

• Our obedience

Keep the Fork

There was a woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. As she was getting her things "in order," she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in. The woman also requested to be buried with her favorite Bible.

Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the woman suddenly remembered something very important to her.

"There's one more thing," she said excitedly. "What's that?" came the Pastor's reply. "This is very important," the woman continued..."I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand."  The Pastor stood looking at the woman, not knowing quite what to say... "That surprises you, doesn't it?" the woman asked. "Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the Pastor.

The woman explained. "In all my years of attending church socials and potluck dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, "keep your fork." It was my favorite part because I  knew that something better was coming..like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance! So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder 'What's with the fork?' Then I want you to tell them: "Keep Your Fork...The best is yet to come!"

The Healthy Pastoral Leader

In his research of leaders, both historical and contemporary, author Robert Clinton found that few leaders actually finish the race well. His two books, The Making of a Leader (NavPress) and The Mentor Handbook (Barnabas), explain that finishing well could be defined as a life that until its end is increasingly more in love with Christ, more committed to His service and more devoted to godly leadership.

What causes a leader to continue to grow, to stay on track and to finish well in life and ministry?

Five Habits of effectiveness. Effective leaders learn to become intentional about their character growth and formation. In this development of a leader we can make three general observations:

1. God develops a leader over a lifetime;
   
2. God uses people, circumstances and ministry assignments to shape the life of a leader; and
   
3. Leadership plateau is often indicative of a growth issue within a leader's life.
   

To help us become more intentional about our health as leaders, let's explore five insights from leaders who have finished well.

1. Healthy leaders are lifelong learners. Leaders pursue three types of training: personal training, (personal growth, projects, personal research); informal training (workshops, seminars, conferences); and formal training (continuing education, degree programs).
   
2. Healthy leaders are committed to serve and develop others. Be alert to potential leaders in your sphere of influence (II Cor. 1:3-4; II Tim. 2:2).
   

Thinking Big - For a Change

One definition of insanity is to believe that you can keep doing what you’ve been doing and get different results.  We want revival.  We want growth in our churches and we think that it is somehow going to miraculously happen by the methods and programs we have used unsuccessfully for the past 20 years.  We think that because we did have “some” growth using manmade antiquated methods, that we are definitely on the right track. 

Someone once said , “It takes all the running you can do to keep in the same place.  If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that.”  I’m not so sure you have to run twice as fast to get somewhere else.  All you have to do is change the direction you are heading.  Many of us are “running as fast as we can and yet, we find ourselves stuck in the same place”.  Some of us are trying as hard as we can try.  We are working very very hard and yet at the end of the day, our efforts for the Kingdom are rewarded only minimally.  Why is that?

Peter and his co-workers had labored all night.  Using techniques and skills they had learned over a lifetime of working on fishing boats, they toiled fruitlessly in dangerous seas.    Their response to the Lord was, “We’ve caught nothing!”

Jesus who probably never spent a single day fishing on a boat tells them, “Cast your nets on the other side.”  Peter must have inwardly thought, “What does this carpenter know about fishing?”  “What can he tell me that I don’t already know?”  “I’ve been doing this all my life!” 

You know what happened. They caught a ton of fish, simply by changing the side of the boat they were casting their nets on.  Now you may also say, “Well, Jesus did a miracle for them”.  He may well have, however, notice that He did require them to do something they had never done before, to get the miracle.  Had Peter cast his net one more time from the same side of the boat he had been casting on, he would have again, pulled in empty nets.

Too many of us have worked all the night also and caught little or nothing.  We may brag that we’ve had a 10% or even 20% increase of growth to our church in the last year, but is that truthfully the kind of revival our Lord would want to give?  Considering the tens of thousands of people in your city, is 10% growth in our church really what He would want to give. 

The early Apostolics turned all of Asia upside-down in just 2 years.  What have we honestly accomplished in our city in the last 20 years?  Too many of us have only held onto the status quo.  While many churches have folded up (We don’t like to talk about these.) and others have barely grown at all.  

We call ourselves Apostolic.  We identify ourselves and our movement with the people of the book of acts.  We speak as if we have arrived at the same conclusions and understanding as those who turned Asia upside down in two years, but this preacher believes we have sadly fooled only ourselves. 

Let's be honest …  20 years ago, didn’t God give you a much greater vision than what you’ve realized.  Didn’t you step into this boat thinking, “I’m going to win my city!”.  “I’m going to have a great drought.”  “We’re going to have a great revival!”

Do You Need A Mentor?

Leadership is a complex issue in the 21^st Century. Christian leaders at every level in business, church, school, and at home are faced with numerous challenges. A common feeling is that of being overwhelmed. 

Christian leaders face difficulty and uncertainty every day. The world is changing rapidly. The political, economical, and social pressures are encroaching more and more into everyone’s daily lives. Although leaders face the same challenges as everyone else, they have the added burden of trying to have answers for others as well.

Ask Yourself a Few Simple Questions

As a leader:

·        Who do you turn to for guidance, advice, and instruction?

·        Who can you trust not only in their advice, but also in confidentiality?

·        Who already knows what you need to know and is willing to share their knowledge with you?

·        Who equips you to meet challenges when you do not yet know what tomorrow’s challenges even are yet?

·        How do you know if you are lacking the skills required to lead and succeed in the 21^st Century?

·        Are other leaders outpacing you? 

·        Are you facing new and more complex challenges that you never faced before?

·        Are you struggling with the challenge of developing leaders around you?

If so you need a mentor.

Things Every Minister Needs to Understand About People

Knowing what people need and want is the key to understanding them. And if you can understand them, you can influence them and impact their lives in a positive way. Listed are five things about understanding people:

• Everybody Wants to Be Somebody. There isn't a person in the world who doesn't have the desire to be someone, to have significance. Even the least ambitious and unassuming person wants to be regarded highly by others. Once that piece of information becomes a part of your everyday thinking, you'll gain incredible insight into why people do the things they do. And if you treat every person you meet as if he or she was the most important person in the world, you'll communicate that he or she is somebody - to you.
• Nobody Cares How Much You Know Until He Knows How Much You Care. To be an influencer, you have to love people before you try to lead them. The moment that people know that you care for and about them, the way they feel about you changes. If you want to help others and become a person of influence, keep smiling, sharing, giving, and turning the other cheek.
• Everybody Needs Somebody. Contrary to popular belief, there are no such things as self-made men and women. Everybody needs somebody to come alongside and help. If you understand that, are willing to give to others and help them, and maintain the right motives, their lives and yours will change.

As A Man Thinketh

I have so many titles for this article running through my head. "Stinking Thinking". "As A Man Thinketh In His Heart". "You Are What You Think". "So Go The Thoughts, So Go The Man". Let me start by asking you a few questions.

1. Are you totally discouraged right now?
   
2. Do you feel overwhelmed?
   
3. Is your mental thought process completely shut down?
   
4. Do you feel trapped?

I have a friend who consistently responds “I’m happy and blessed” when I ask him how he is doing. Now I like this guy, I really do. But, sometimes, I just want to say “get real" when he tells me that. I don’t know, maybe he really is happy all the time. I guess it’s possible. Anything is possible right?!

I’m going to get blasted over this article. I’m going to get tons of emails from the "Happy All The Time Crowd". They’re going to tell me I’ve gone off the deep end. They will let me know that the Christian should always be happy. It’s our right. It’s our obligation. We should always have this enormous smile that tells everyone around us that we are HAPPY.

Christians are not allowed to get bummed out. Christians, especially Christian ministers are definitely not allowed to sink to the cloud of discouragement. A minister should never allow himself to get to a place of feeling down. Right?

Sounds good doesn’t it. But in the real world that’s a bunch of baloney. Just ask the old Prophet of God. One minute he’s killing off 500 false prophets, and wishing he could die the next.

You might agree with me that most preachers are emotional people. Now some people out there are not real emotional, but most of the preachers I know are people who allow emotion to guide them. Now that’s not a bad thing. I’m convinced that the Lord has a hard time using people who are hard to move emotionally. This is why he anointed David to be king when he was only a boy. God said of David, “He’s after my heart”. Other words, he’s a person who is able to touch me with his emotion. Without emotion, David would be led of his own ideas and agenda. But, since he was a person whose heart could be touched, God said, “I’ll use him in ways he never imagined he could be used.”

Emotion is a good thing. We need to be emotional! God is emotional. Look what the scriptures tell us about him.

• He gets angry.
• He gets jealous.
• He laughs.
• He’s emotional!

We, being created in his image are allowed the same privilege of being emotional.

How To Lead Critics

Get up before they get up.  If you are lazy and don’t get started on things until the last minute, your critics will have already accomplished an alternative less effective way of doing things.

Do your homework – Study the situation.  Don’t take other peoples word for it.  Research the problem and with God’s help, find the best solution.  

You run the meetings – Never let anyone but you or someone you desire, to run a meeting.  If they take the platform, shut them down.  Don’t let them take over the meeting.  Never walk into a meeting without knowing the direction and result that the meeting will bring.

Know the trouble makers past – Find out what makes that person tick.  Why are they the way they are?  Knowing more about them will enable you to understand why they feel the way they feel about things and enable you to change them.

Share your vision with others before your critic gets the opportunity to share theirs.  These are busy little people and they work hard at spreading their opinions.  Work harder!  Have coffee meetings where you tell others your dreams and vision.  Go to congregants homes unexpectedly (As your critics do.) and open your heart to them.

Be confident.  No one wants a sissy for a Pastor. (Sorry if that sounds demeaning, but I’ve seen some.)  Don’t be bullied.  Be strong.  Know your calling.  Walk tall.  Square your shoulders.  Lead!  People will follow.   You may lose some critics along the way, (Let them go!) but you will gain a congregation who will follow you into revival.

Your Life and Ministry Is A Balancing Act

Balance in life does not come naturally.  For many of us, our lives are lived in extremes.  Incredible things happen when ministry and life are lived at their fullest. The problem however, is that when one area of our life is lived at an extreme, the others become out of balance. 

Spending larger amounts of time in one area causes the other areas of our life to become anemic.  Few vocations understand this more than the ministry.  Our dedication to God and commitment to His church often cause us to have an imbalanced allocation of energy and time resources.   Sadly, our families are too often the benefactors of the lessor of the imbalance.

Someone once said, “Time waits for no one!”  How true!  We really do only have one life and one chance at making the moments of every single day of that life count.  Moments that are divided between our jobs, families and ministries.  Moments that we will never get back.  Moments that turn hours into days.  Days into years and years into lifetimes. 

• How do you manage all those moments? 
• What are the priorities that you have set to budget those precious moments? 
• What rules have you put into place to guard the distribution of those moments? 
• Is your life so frenzied that you really have no idea who should get the best of “you”?