Live Personal Mentoring

If you are like most Christian church and business leaders you have already discovered that "quick-fix" leadership solutions simply do not work.

At best they are Band-Aids that only temporarily mask the real problems. Perhaps you also have experienced the frustration experienced after spending precious dollars to attend conference after conference and realizing that the motivation received wore off shortly after returning to the real world at home. Or maybe you are one of the countless leaders who visit the bookstore for the latest catchy title, only to buy another book that never gets finished and simply winds up looking good on the bookshelf behind your desk. Impressive but ineffective.There is a solution to the leadership dilemma. For many pastors the real solution is less costly than hosting an evangelist, or for a business leader to hire a consultant. The real solution is one-on-one live mentoring with a gifted and seasoned professional who is focused on you and your needs.

Dr. Fred Childs is highly solicited by Christian church and business leaders for personal mentoring. He offers invaluable understanding, insights, and solutions to leaders on a wide range of topics.ChurchMentor.net has an inexpensive monthly membership fee that introduces its members to an abundance of relevant leadership materials in written, audio, and video formats. However, now the services being offered are expanding to include live mentoring as well.

10 Traits To Identify A Promising Person

Identifying that next leader is not easy.  You must often times select a few prospects and begin to work with them waiting for the cream to rise to the top.  While you are mentoring and waiting for maturity, here are a few things to begin to look for.

Leadership in the past. The best predictor of the future is the past.  Is this a person who has worked well on a team previously?  Maybe, they needed a break and stepped aside for rest, but are now able to get back on board.

The capacity to create or catch vision. When I talk to people about the future, I want their eyes to light up. I want them to ask the right questions.  When you are sharing your vision with people do they get excited along with you?  Do they offer suggestions that spur your imagination further?  When you find someone who is able to catch the same vision as you, you have found someone that you can entrust much of the responsibility with.  They will have a similar passion for the work as you yourself would.

A constructive spirit of discontent. Some people would call this criticism, but there's a big difference in being constructively discontent and being critical. The unscratchable itch is always in the leader.  These people are a bit hard to sift from the genuine critics, but when you do you may have found a diamond in the rough.  Just because they are questioning a few things does not mean they are not on your side.  Give them an opportunity to help make a needed change and you may have found a great friend 

Practical Ideas. Not everybody with practical ideas is a leader, of course, but leaders seem to be able to identify which are and which aren't.  A person's experience will often times lend practical ideas.  When someone offers an idea that is helpful, it may be that they have been involved in a project much like what you are facing which will make them a helpful candidate for your ministry team.

A willingness to take responsibility. Leaders will bear work, for the feeling of contributing to other people is what leadership is all about. When you find a person who is willing to take responsibility for not only the ministry you have given them, but also the success of it, you have found pure gold.  These are people to build upon.  The ministry is dependent on individuals who are willing to take responsibility.

A completion factor. In the military, it is called "completed staff work." The half-cooked meal isn't what you want. Someone who competes what they have set out to do is invaluable.  When looking for leadership that will help you move your church forward, look for people who finish what they start, no matter how small or trivial the task is.

Home Friendship Groups - Helping close the back door.

“A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.” Prov 18:19

Bob stopped me a while back to thank me. A trustee and board member in his church, he explained that he and his wife were greatly offended by a situation and people in the church. He told how one Sunday without knowing their situation, I encouraged them. I told them that “they were very important to the work of God there” and a “wonderful example to me”. I didn’t know they had already decided this was their last service in that church. He told me that had it not been for my encouraging them that day, they never would have gone back.

I wonder how many Bob’s leave the church without anybody noticing.

It is often said, “If we could just win back those who have already left, that would be a great revival. My question is, “how did we ever let them get away in the first place”?

In my years of pastoring and ministry, I’ve found that people usually leave the church because they were never truly assimilated into the family of God to begin with. Once a person is established into the church and have formed nurturing relationships, it’s less likely they would become offended and leave.

We think that we have to “get them into the choir right away” or “find them a position or job in the church” to keep new converts. This may help that person feel more attached, but it will never assimilate them into the church.

Why do people exit the church? Many times, a person leaves because they were never provided the proper relationships within the church.

Think Positively

Psalm 118:24 reads, “This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.”  The writer of this Psalm understood that if he was going to be a happy person, he was going to have to encourage himself.  Who knows what all this person was dealing with at that moment of his life?  The day he penned these words may well have been the worst day of his life.  His determination however was that he was not going to allow his circumstances to determine his outlook on life. 

Only you can decide for you if you are going to be a positive and happy person.  There is much in the world to worry and be sad about, but that does not mean that you have to live a sad or worried existence.

Are You Ready For Your Healing?

Have You Been Praying that God Would Restore Someone's Health...

But with No Answer? 

Many have prayed for healing and felt like their prayers landed on deaf ears. It can be frustrating. It can wear your faith down and have you wondering if God still cares. Rest assured he certainly does care!

Do you feel that you have faith, but for some reason
have never seen miracles?

Everyone knows someone who’s in need of physical, emotional or mental healing. Yet most people who aren’t educated or experienced with the will of God, seem lost and often unsure if their prayers will even be answered. Is there anything you can do to prepare yourself (or someone else) for a healing?

Home Friendship Groups - The Individual

I doubt there has ever been a day or society more dysfunctional than the one we are living in today.

Children are growing up in homes with absent and all too often abusive fathers and mothers. These children grow up in an emotionally or physically abusive atmosphere. One recent statistic stated that 1/3 of the homes in America are verbally abusive homes. Where husbands stop short of hitting their wives, but instead wound them with words that cut deep into her heart and emotional make up. Many husbands are grown men with childhood scars that leave them wounded little boys for the rest of their lives. These same men are often emotionally unable to minister to the sensitive needs of their own children and thus a new generation of dysfunctional adults are born.

The individual is wounded, emotionally scarred and hurting spiritually. There is in America a vacuum of need in the individual's life. It may well be said that there has never been a time when this vacuum has been greater.

We have a Savior who can answer the needs of the individual, yet with this wonderful touch of God on our lives, we are all too often unable to transfer God's loving touch to the hurting, needy individual.

Where is the catalyst that will bring Christ to this hurting world? The catalyst is the Church, yet the catalyst is sometimes unable to accomplish her part. We have to ask ourselves, why? The disciples tried their best to shut Blind Bartimaeus up. They were so inebriated with their own relationship with Jesus that they almost angrily tried to shoo Bartimaeus away. Never noticing his need, they said, "Leave the Master alone".

The individual in America is an emotional mess, with wounds and scars that alcohol, drugs and psychologists cannot heal. The Church is this person's only hope. However, in the traditional church setting, the individual is not always wholly ministered to. Many people have needs that cannot be completely met in the traditional church service. If a silent poll were taken in the average church, I believe we would be surprised to hear what some people would say concerning their personal, spiritual and emotional needs being met.

In the Home Friendship Group setting, the individual has an opportunity to not only be ministered to, but to minister to others. The Bible does tell us to "edify one another". A true family unit is developed when adult members share in the responsibility of preparing food for fellowship times, praying & worshiping together, caring for the children of the group, and hosting meetings in one another's homes.

Why Home Friendship Groups? - Community

There are two essential elements of community. 1) interpersonal commitments and 2) a sense of belonging. True community needs both of these elements in operation. Without interpersonal commitments, a sense of belonging would soon be lost as a sense of belonging is derived from and is a result of the interpersonal commitments. Did I loose you there? Ok, let me break it down.

Bob joins a new church. He is warmly welcomed. He soon receives salvation. Bob likes the people and enjoys what he feels in the church. However, as time goes on, Bob soon realizes that since his only real commitment is to come to church, worship and give in the offerings, his commitment level is not very deep. In fact, if Bob only develops a deep relationship with the pastor there, then the Pastor is Bob’s only real reason for staying there. What happens however, when Bob gets upset at the pastor? What happens if the pastor resigns? You and I know what happens, Bob soon leaves. However, what would happen if Bob were was interconnected in a deep level of community or fellowship with 10-12 other people within the church? (Small Group) What if it were possible that Bob could get upset with the Pastor, yet his love for and interconnectedness with these other 10-12 were so deep that he would stay?

Relationships are powerful. A good relationship will build a person up and a bad relationship has the potential to destroy someone. We often fail to realize the value of relationships within the church. We exhaust ourselves with evangelistic efforts and get so excited over the sudden growth or influx of visitors. Yet we then often fail to get those new people into bonding relationships within the church and soon lose them. What we end up with is a person who is easily offended and will have nothing or nobody to stand in their way of an exodus.

Volunteers In The Army Of The Lord.

When working with those who are volunteers in the church, it’s important to remember a few things.  Consider these…

They are not paid to work in your church.  Very few businesses are operated by volunteerism.  The church is one of the few organizations who operate because of volunteers.  A volunteer is a gift from God to the church.  However small a person’s contribution may be, is a great gift as it costs the church nothing.

They do it because they want to.  What causes one person to volunteer may be something that would not cause another person to volunteer.  The bottom line is they want to do it.  You cannot make a person volunteer.  You can however help them to want to volunteer by finding the “motivational button” that would cause them to want to volunteer.

They do it because it makes them feel good.  People receive a sense of value by volunteering.  It makes them feel like they have invested a part of themselves.  Volunteering in the church makes one feel like they have truly helped a worthy cause.

They do it because they want to please God and Pastor.  Always remind the volunteer that you are thankful for their help and that it means a great deal to you that they helped.  Remind them also that God is pleased with their contribution. 

Dealing With Self-Doubt

"Today I yield the floor to Rev. D.E.Haymon. I came across this wonderful article this week and with his permission would like to share it with you. If you have an article that would be an encouragement to our ministerial audience, please feel free to forward it for consideration. "

“Dealing With Self- Doubt”
We wouldn’t worry nearly so much about what others think of us—if we knew how seldom they did! Our natural social and emotional insecurities sometime make us feel far more vulnerable than we really are. I’m talking about self-consciousness—the feeling that everyone (at least someone) is watching and carefully critiquing every move we make.

Having a clear conscience goes a long way toward giving us self-confidence. When we have nothing to hide, there’s nothing to fear! This Scripture clearly lays it on the line: “The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion” (Proverbs 28:1). Someone long ago said, “I’d rather go to bed with a mangy dog than try sleeping with a guilty conscience.” Of course, both the filth and stench of the dog, or the conscience, would equally make sleep impossible.

We may safely assume that many of the complaints made in the Psalms, especially those written by David after his sin with Bathsheba, and having hired the assassination of her innocent husband, reflect abject fear. Even after his confession, David carried the scars of his evil deeds. It is especially touching that, to clear himself, he honestly accepted full responsibility. “Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight,” he said, then added, “That thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest” (Psa. 51:4). Literally, he committed himself to whatever horrible thing God might say or do in judgment for his sin. Oh, that all might exhibit such humility!