A Husband's Responsibilities - For Men Only

I. He is to love his wife as Christ loved the church.

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband" (Ephesians 5:25-33).

• This is total self-giving love. He can only love his wife to the degree that he receives the love of God. Through this kind of love, he brings a sanctification and cleansing for his wife.

II. He is to be tenderhearted toward his wife.

"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you" (Ephesians 4:32).

"Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye" (Colossians 3:12- 13).

• The one major complaint women give about their husbands is that they are not tenderhearted (sensitive to their feelings). "He just can't show his emotions."

III. He is to be the provider for the family.

"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel" (I Timothy 5:8).

"For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat" (I Thessalonians 3:10).

• God works through the husband and father to provide for the wife and the children. This provision should also include protection from physical or emotional harm.

It's Mine! Mine! Mine!

I couldn’t believe it.  One hand gripping his toy.  The other clinched into a tightened fist.  He seemed ready to clobber anyone who came near enough to threaten his prized possession.  I don't remember what the toy was, but I'll never forget the spoiled defiance the child displayed as the parent tried to free it from his hand.

The toy was not his.  It belonged to another child.  The parent, embarrassed, was trying to retrieve it.  It was not going to come easy.  With feet stomping and face grimaced, he yelled, "It’s mine!  Mine!  Mine!  Mine!"

Spirits come against the Church in all forms.   Lust has destroyed many ministries and churches.  Jealousy had also brought down his fare share of great congregations.  Pride as well has been victorious over many of God’s elect.  The list goes on and on.  To say it doesn’t is to not face the reality that we are in a great war with evil.

There is another Spirit that has been shown to me of recent months.  His name is Mine.

Mine is a proud spirit.  In fact, he and Pride work very well together.  He does his greatest work in seemingly mature congregants.   He works to introduce the spirit of Possessiveness in people’s hearts.

How humble people are when they first come to Christ.  On bended knee we repent of past sins and plead with God for a new fleshly heart.  For weeks and months we are happy, just to be a part of the Kingdom.  Enjoying God’s blessings and the fellowship of his people, we start a wonderful new life.

Everything goes along just as Christ planned it for the new convert.  They are growing in newness of Life.  They are learning to trust Him and find healing for the wounds in their hearts.  Mine however, lurks in the shadows.  He hides, waiting for the perfect opportunity to pounce.  However, he has no chance as long as Humility fills the heart of the new child of God.

Is It My Turn Yet?

Haven’t you always wanted to be a part of a winning team?

Isn’t it time to let God use your life for His glory? 

I Sam 17: 19 Now Saul, and they, and all the men of Israel, were in the valley of Elah, fighting with the Philistines.  20 And David rose up early in the morning, and left the sheep with a keeper, and took, and went, as Jesse had commanded him; and he came to the trench, as the host was going forth to the fight, and shouted for the battle. 

Can you imagine all the hundreds or even thousands of warriors that were in the field that day?  There were both Israeli and also the Philistine seasoned men of combat.  Archers.  Chariot riders.  Foot soldiers.  Champions of wars past.  Huge, scarred, muscular men of combat.

And along comes this ruddy, stubbly faced, nosy kid who upon hearing the Philistine champion's challenge, calls out…. “Is It My Turn Yet?”

What to do When People Don't Worship

Although we put so much effort into preparing for our worship services with music practices and prayer meetings, there are some in our churches that we know are not going to worship.  It doesn't matter how wonderful the music sounds or how exciting the service may be, some people just aren't going to be involved at all in worship.  The Spirit can be so powerful and the anointing be so strong and there are people whose lives are clearly being changed, yet there will be that select few who are content sitting in their seats doing nothing.  What do we do when people don't worship?  How do we get those people to worship?

Teach on worship. 

Colossians 3:16:

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

Teach on worship in your bible studies.  Have lessons on worship during Sunday School.  Teach on worship during your mid-week services.  Show what can happen when everyone is with one accord and in one place doing the same thing. (Acts 2)  There are many passages in Scripture that teach on worship.  Some people may not worship because they really don’t know how to worship.  Maybe they are new to church and do not feel comfortable outwardly expressing themselves yet.  Maybe they really don't know what worship is or how to demonstrate it.  It is our responsibility to teach on these things.  We can't expect these people to worship if we haven't first taught them what worship is and how to worship.

Building a Condemnation Free Ministry

One of the saddest occurrences is when I spend time trying to mentor an experienced Christian minister who is wrestling with regrets, guilt and self-condemnation after they have given a lifetime to the work of God.

Christian ministry should be satisfying and rewarding. The joy, peace, fulfillment and contentment should be overflowing for anyone who has devoted their life to arguably the world’s most noble profession. Surprisingly instead of entering a time of bliss and contentment, a vast number of ministers and their spouses enter their later years disillusioned, angry, bitter, depressed and saddened over missed opportunities, mistakes, bad judgments, regrets, and a list of similar discouragements.

This simply ought not to be.

What about you? Are you living with regret, guilt, or condemnation right now?

Is it easier for you to quote Romans 8:1 than it is to live it?

“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.”

KJV

The word “condemnation” means an adverse sentence (the verdict). There should be no adverse sentence or condemnation but reality says there often is. If so, then the question is what caused it? Or, from where did it originate?

Even if you could identify the point of origin for your feeling of condemnation you cannot change the history that caused it. However, you can learn from history, make adjustments, and not repeat the same mistakes in the future. Another key point is that Romans 8:1 reveals the answer to living condemnation free. It says to, “walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” To state it plainly: the Spirit will lead you to a condemnation free life and ministry whereas the flesh will lead to condemnation.

From a practical standpoint the following suggestions will assist you in building a condemnation free life and ministry.

Plan your finances as though you will live 150 years. One of the greatest tragedies is that many of us have failed to plan for the day of retirement. It is a mistake you will live to regret. Many of those who chose to spend it all because the Lord was coming and they didn’t want to leave it for the antichrist died broke and foolish. They had no oil in their lamps when the day came that they needed it.

Utilizing Kingdom Resources

Jesus died for the sins of the world. He did not die for most, several or some. He died for all. When He suffered on the cross, He did not have only a few hundred or a few thousand on His mind. What held Him to that tree was every single man, woman, boy and girl who would ever live on this planet. Is our own directive the same?  

How many churches would be quite satisfied if they could just reach a few hundred from their community.  Think about it, if your church directly affected 300-500 souls on a weekly basis, would you be satisfied? I would. For a while any way.

We've got to stop thinking small. Jesus did not think small. The scripture does not speak small. This gospel was given that every single person ever conceived could have a relationship with Him. For too long the Church’s growth has been limited by our small thinking.

There are well over 6 billion people on this planet today. Some would say that God will add to the church in His time. That growth will happen when He wills it to happen. Jesus proved his commitment and desire to see every person in your city saved when he suffered that horrific beating and the cruel death of the cross.

Revival has nothing to do with God’s will for it to happen. He has proven His will. It has everything to do with our putting ourselves in a position to allow it to happen and to receive and maintain it when it comes.

The Work Of The Connector

In his book, The Turning Point, Malcolm Gladwell describes the work of the connector.  The connectors he explains are important to social epidemics.  The reason why a new restaurant would become the new hotspot in the community might well depend a great deal on the work of the connector.  You see, a connector is the person in the market place who tells all their friends about the great deal they just got at Wall Mart.  Or the fantastic food they ate at a new restaurant.  Every church has connectors in them.

I have identified my wife as being a connector.  Should Natalie find a bargain at say Wall Mart, she will immediately call her mother and sister on the phone and them about the great deal and why they should head over to Wall Mart as soon as they get off work.   My wife is a connector.  She loves telling people about everything from the newest restaurant, to the store who has a sale on paper napkins.

My life was changed by a connector.  I was 17 years old when I came into contact with this person.  95% of the relationships I have today are a direct result of this one connector in my life.  Mike was his name.  Had this person never told me about and invited me to his church, I never would have met most of the people who I now know as my close friends and colleagues.  He was not a preacher.  He was a connector.

Something excited him about his church and he could not help himself to share it with someone else.  Mike is not an orator.  He is not a teacher of God’s word.  But he connected me to the people who would eventually change my life. 

We all have had the work of a connector in our lives.  They introduced us to the church.  They introduced us to our spouse.  They told us the kind of car we should buy.  They work behind the scenes to promote projects, products and agendas and they do it every day without pay or recognition.  You might say it’s their personality.  I would say it’s more of an obsession with some people.

My wife can’t help herself.  She has to share her good fortune.  I have told her in the past to keep some bargains to herself.  Like the beautiful new dress she just got off a clearance rack for a few bucks.  I tell her let people think you paid a little something for it, but no, she has to tell the world where they can get the same deal.  She loves to be the connector.

Seven Challenges Every Pastor Faces

2.     Getting everybody on board and keeping them on board. We all start out great, but it is a constant struggle to keep people motivated and focused.

3.     Causing people to change and grow can be exhausting spiritually, mentally and physically.

4.     It seems like the attack of the enemy in the spirit realm is greater since I have been a pastor.

Are You Being Followed?

1Th 1:6  “And ye became followers of us, and of the Lord, having received the word in much affliction, with joy of the Holy Ghost:”

A young upstart in the ministry once asked an elder more seasoned minister, "When will I know that I am leader in the Church?"  With that the seasoned minister responded simply, “When you are being followed.”

Leadership in God’s church is not position.  It is not having or being in an office.  Being elected by a group of people neither actually causes you to become their leader.  They may have elected or chosen you to do a job, but that does not mean that you are their leader.  Leadership only happens in the church when you are being followed. 

Jesus’ followers literally followed him through deserts, mountains, and stormy seas.  No obstacle was too great for the opportunity to be near to the master.  Here is where many church leaders find out if they’ve made the grade or not.  One statistic tells us that very often after a building program, many pastors too often leave a church to find another pastorate.  Why is that?  Could it be that the parishioners didn’t like the color of the paint the pastor chose?  Did they not like the way he conducted the business of the project?  Was too much money spent?  Too little accomplished?  Wrong decisions?  Bad decisions?  A leader will know if he is truly a leader if he followed even after a storm.

When Jesus’ followers were in the ship that was being tossed by the waves, they cried out to their leader and he healed the situation they were in.  Here is where an elected person becomes a leader of people.  Knowing what to do in the storm will validate your leadership.  Knowing how to act in a crisis elevates you above your fellow.  Not everybody is capable of making tough decisions.   Only a leader worth following knows when and how to step to the forefront and take charge of a chaotic situation.