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Leading Leaders Who Think
By: David Church
One of the challenges all pastors face is leading those who have the same vision you have but don't have the same idea's about accomplishing that vision. I call these people 'thinkers'. Thinkers are good and bad. Every pastor loves to have a group of leaders that agree with everything he says. But there comes a point when that starts working against the pastor.
It is not always healthy to have a ministry team full of 'yes-men.' Most "yes-men" cannot think for themselves. What good are leaders who cannot work situations out? They need instruction for just about everything they do. Some even like to be micro-managed. Pastors cannot afford to be micro-managers, it steals ones time and produces people who cannot make it on their own.
As a builder of homes I have worked with hundreds of different carpenters from around the country. While working with these different tradesmen there were a few things I learned very quickly about people. Some of these carpenters would come to me and ask me how I liked things done. They wanted to be sure they built the house the way I wanted it to be built. At first I really appreciated this, but soon I realized that most of my time was taken up showing them my method when their method would have worked just as well.
Other carpenters would jump right in and do their own thing. This frustrated me even more because they didn't even have the courtesy to ask for my plan or opinion. But then there were those very few carpenters who would ask a few questions about the blueprint, get dialed in on my plan of attack, and then proceed to carry out that plan. If they ran into a problem, they could "think" it out for themselves. They didn't have to come to me about every little thing, but if something major came up they wouldn't hesitate to consult me. Sometimes they even offered suggestions that increased the productivity of my crew. In twenty plus years of building homes, I found only a handful of carpenters with these qualities. These were valuable men. These were the men who helped me achieve my goals. These were the carpenters that made my company money.
We need leaders like this in our churches. We need men and women who can work through problems and think things through on their own. It is important as a leader that you develop leaders who can think. It is also important that you are confident enough to lead leaders who may have a better idea or plan than you have. I am not talking about those who disagree with everything you have to say. I am talking about those who are dialed in to your vision, but may have better ideas than you about how to accomplish that vision.
In the Old Testament, the Kings surrounded themselves with people who were dialed into their mission. There are many accounts where this team of leaders did not agree with their King. They had different ideas of how to accomplish the mission. They were not "yes-men". What kind of value would they have to the King if they agreed with everything the King asked? The king though, would have to be humble and confident enough in himself to act on their advice. Their advice was oftentimes critical to the success or failure of that nation.
When Moses was leading the people of Israel through the wilderness he often sat down to hear the disputes of the people and make fair judgments amongst them. On one such occasion, his father-in-law, Jethro, was in the camp and observed this event. Jethro immediately saw a problem with how Moses handled these affairs and he offered Moses some wise advice.
Ex 18:17-19
17 And Moses' father in law said unto him, The thing that thou doest is not good.
18 Thou wilt surely wear away, both thou, and this people that is with thee: for this thing is too heavy for thee; thou art not able to perform it thyself alone.
19 Hearken now unto my voice, I will give thee counsel, and God shall be with thee: Be thou for the people to Godward, that thou mayest bring the causes unto God:
Ex 18:21-24
21 Moreover thou shalt provide out of all the people able men, such as fear God, men of truth, hating covetousness; and place such over them, to be rulers of thousands, and rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens:
22 And let them judge the people at all seasons: and it shall be, that every great matter they shall bring unto thee, but every small matter they shall judge: so shall it be easier for thyself, and they shall bear the burden with thee.
23 If thou shalt do this thing, and God command thee so, then thou shalt be able to endure, and all this people shall also go to their place in peace.
24 So Moses hearkened to the voice of his father in law, and did all that he had said.
Ex 18:26
26 And they judged the people at all seasons: the hard causes they brought unto Moses, but every small matter they judged themselves.
Moses was confident enough in his own leadership to admit that there was a better way. He was able to admit he was wrong. That is hard to do as a leader, yet sometimes it is necessary.
Moses took Jethro's advice and was better because of it. Notice the men Moses chose as his leaders, they were men of God with the same vision that he had. Still, they had one other important quality, they were men who were able to make decisions and think for themselves. These leaders still brought important matters to him, but they worked the smaller matters out themselves.
Moses was a leader of thinkers. Moses was a leader of men who were more capable than he was. This is how he was able to lead three million people. Most of the great churches you see around the world are led by men who are able to lead "thinkers." Be sure this is one of the leadership qualities you possess.
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Addicted To Anger?
Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way, that is not easy. - Aristotle
Some of you will not appreciate us quoting from Aristotle, but you have to admit, the guy has a good point. Anger can eat a person up. Your true potential as a minister of God can be thwarted by un-harnessed anger.
People who explode and express anger easily can cause great harm to those they are called to encourage. It’s important for us to understand anger and its potential to destroy.
Exploding because someone hurt you. When most people get hurt they cry out. This is natural. But it is not healthy to express anger every time someone hurts your feelings.
A good leader has the ability to harness his anger and even displace it toward healthy and more productive avenues. Mistreating someone because they hurt you is not just. It is bullying.
It is entirely possible that the person who hurt you did it unintentionally and without malice. You would be wise to forgive them quickly and swallow that anger before you create a fissure in a relationship that cannot be mended.
Being addicted to anger. Some people love to be angry. They enjoy the feeling of superiority they get when they have told someone off. They actually look for opportunities to get after someone or give someone a hard time. Certain hormones even create a strong physical sensation when they really get mad.
These people are addicted to this hormone and the emotion of anger and have no place in church leadership. It is important to be a person of peace. If you find yourself constantly getting angry at others for little reasons, you might be addicted to anger. Just like any other addict, you can actually build up a tolerance for this drug. Once this happens, you will find it necessary to constantly become angrier in order to get the same euphoria. This could end in a terrible way if you do not get deliverance from this addiction.
Using anger to exploit. Most people learn to exploit by anger at a very early age. Babies learn quickly to cry out in anger when they are not getting what they want. They will use anger tantrums to control their parents who simply want to appease them.
These same people grow up believing that they can use anger to get their way all the time. On the job, they will use anger to cause others to cave into their demands. These people may not stomp their feet in the workplace or church office, but you know when they are mad and they will use this to control others.
[ read more...]
Addicted To Anger?
Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way, that is not easy. - Aristotle
Some of you will not appreciate us quoting from Aristotle, but you have to admit, the guy has a good point. Anger can eat a person up. Your true potential as a minister of God can be thwarted by un-harnessed anger.
People who explode and express anger easily can cause great harm to those they are called to encourage. It’s important for us to understand anger and its potential to destroy.
Exploding because someone hurt you. When most people get hurt they cry out. This is natural. But it is not healthy to express anger every time someone hurts your feelings.
A good leader has the ability to harness his anger and even displace it toward healthy and more productive avenues. Mistreating someone because they hurt you is not just. It is bullying.
It is entirely possible that the person who hurt you did it unintentionally and without malice. You would be wise to forgive them quickly and swallow that anger before you create a fissure in a relationship that cannot be mended.
Being addicted to anger. Some people love to be angry. They enjoy the feeling of superiority they get when they have told someone off. They actually look for opportunities to get after someone or give someone a hard time. Certain hormones even create a strong physical sensation when they really get mad.
These people are addicted to this hormone and the emotion of anger and have no place in church leadership. It is important to be a person of peace. If you find yourself constantly getting angry at others for little reasons, you might be addicted to anger. Just like any other addict, you can actually build up a tolerance for this drug. Once this happens, you will find it necessary to constantly become angrier in order to get the same euphoria. This could end in a terrible way if you do not get deliverance from this addiction.
Using anger to exploit. Most people learn to exploit by anger at a very early age. Babies learn quickly to cry out in anger when they are not getting what they want. They will use anger tantrums to control their parents who simply want to appease them.
These same people grow up believing that they can use anger to get their way all the time. On the job, they will use anger to cause others to cave into their demands. These people may not stomp their feet in the workplace or church office, but you know when they are mad and they will use this to control others.
[ read more...]
Do You Need A Mentor?
Leadership is a complex issue in the 21st Century. Christian leaders at every level in business, church, school, and at home are faced with numerous challenges. A common feeling is that of being overwhelmed.
Christian leaders face difficulty and uncertainty every day. The world is changing rapidly. The political, economical, and social pressures are encroaching more and more into everyone’s daily lives. Although leaders face the same challenges as everyone else, they have the added burden of trying to have answers for others as well.
Ask Yourself a Few Simple Questions
As a leader:
· Who do you turn to for guidance, advice, and instruction?
· Who can you trust not only in their advice, but also in confidentiality?
· Who already knows what you need to know and is willing to share their knowledge with you?
· Who equips you to meet challenges when you do not yet know what tomorrow’s challenges even are yet?
· How do you know if you are lacking the skills required to lead and succeed in the 21st Century?
· Are other leaders outpacing you?
· Are you facing new and more complex challenges that you never faced before?
· Are you struggling with the challenge of developing leaders around you?
If so you need a mentor.
[ read more...]
Do You Need A Mentor?
Leadership is a complex issue in the 21st Century. Christian leaders at every level in business, church, school, and at home are faced with numerous challenges. A common feeling is that of being overwhelmed.
Christian leaders face difficulty and uncertainty every day. The world is changing rapidly. The political, economical, and social pressures are encroaching more and more into everyone’s daily lives. Although leaders face the same challenges as everyone else, they have the added burden of trying to have answers for others as well.
Ask Yourself a Few Simple Questions
As a leader:
· Who do you turn to for guidance, advice, and instruction?
· Who can you trust not only in their advice, but also in confidentiality?
· Who already knows what you need to know and is willing to share their knowledge with you?
· Who equips you to meet challenges when you do not yet know what tomorrow’s challenges even are yet?
· How do you know if you are lacking the skills required to lead and succeed in the 21st Century?
· Are other leaders outpacing you?
· Are you facing new and more complex challenges that you never faced before?
· Are you struggling with the challenge of developing leaders around you?
If so you need a mentor.
[ read more...]
How soon do you...
How soon do you begin training people in leadership positions. Well, let me ask you – how long do you wait to help a baby walk? Until they learn to do it on their own? No, early in their development, you take them by the hands, lift them up, steady them and one step at a time you help them learn balance, endurance and strength. If you wait until a person is already involved in leadership to use them, they may have gotten their leadership skills from a source such as the corporate world where the same values are not shared in the church. Start working with people early. Trust them. Some will fail and embarrass you. Others will succeed and astound you.
How soon do you use them in leadership positions? Generally before you feel they are 100% ready. There is always a need for leadership help in the church. You will find that as soon as you begin raising up a person in the church for a position, God will begin raising up a position in the church for a person. The reason many churches do not have certain ministries in their churches is not because the needs are not there for those ministries, it is because there are not people ready to lead those ministries.
How soon do you move someone out of a ministry? As soon as you have another ministry to advance that person to and someone to take their place. Never leave someone in a position for years if that person has the ability to excel into another office or ministry in the church.
[ read more...]
How soon do you...
How soon do you begin training people in leadership positions. Well, let me ask you – how long do you wait to help a baby walk? Until they learn to do it on their own? No, early in their development, you take them by the hands, lift them up, steady them and one step at a time you help them learn balance, endurance and strength. If you wait until a person is already involved in leadership to use them, they may have gotten their leadership skills from a source such as the corporate world where the same values are not shared in the church. Start working with people early. Trust them. Some will fail and embarrass you. Others will succeed and astound you.
How soon do you use them in leadership positions? Generally before you feel they are 100% ready. There is always a need for leadership help in the church. You will find that as soon as you begin raising up a person in the church for a position, God will begin raising up a position in the church for a person. The reason many churches do not have certain ministries in their churches is not because the needs are not there for those ministries, it is because there are not people ready to lead those ministries.
How soon do you move someone out of a ministry? As soon as you have another ministry to advance that person to and someone to take their place. Never leave someone in a position for years if that person has the ability to excel into another office or ministry in the church.
[ read more...]
The Dark Side of Spiritual Abuse - Part 4
Leadership seems to be the buzzword of our times. Bookstores now have multiple rows upon rows of books concerning this particular subject. Some of the content is very good and can help a person to hone their management skills and work toward becoming self-disciplined in a manner that will prove good for the organization that they are serving. I personally have benefited from some of the secular leadership books that I have read over the years. Despite all of these necessary and good resources only a small, in fact, microscopic amount of these books address spiritual issues in the life of the leader.
There aren’t any spiritual leadership concepts given in the books that Jim Collins has written. Patrick Lencioni does not address the spiritual side of a man who wants to build a Fortune 500 company. Peter Drucker’s works have almost elevated him posthumously to an exalted messiah among the leadership gurus of the last century. If we are not careful, there can be a tendency to think that we can build a church the same way that Steve Jobs made Apple successful. Once a spiritual leader buys into that particular idea that he can build a spiritual church with the same techniques that a profit-driven company is built, he deceives himself and he will create spiritual mayhem with the sheep he is meant to feed.
Spiritually abusive leaders are often very ambitious and driven toward success. It is important to understand the motives that drive men in spiritual leadership because our motives say much about our true intentions. Gary McIntosh in his book, Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership, identifies five types of leadership styles that lead toward tendencies to be spiritually abusive. The compulsive leader is characterized by being status conscious, looking for reassurance and approval from those in authority. He will have a tendency to try to control activities and keep order at all times doing this by being an extreme workaholic. They can be excessively moralistic, conscientious, and judgmental. He may have an angry and rebellious attitude but will repress his true feelings and hold in the anger and resentment. When these dark emotions turn on the church, the atmosphere immediately turns into one of control and extreme authoritarianism.
There are certain traits that usually show up in the preaching style of a compulsive leader. He will frequently be a gifted and charismatic speaker but has the tendency to minimize any impact of the Scriptures unless they are going to serve his own agenda. He will also be the hero of all of his stories and listeners will be “amazed” at his feats in personal outreach/evangelism, prayer schedule, and devotion to the Scriptures. He may even say something like this; “I am God’s appointed authority in your life. If you oppose me you’re opposing God.” He will almost have the capacity to turn himself into a rock star for a lack of a better description. He leads people to follow him instead of the Lord.
[ read more...]
The Dark Side of Spiritual Abuse - Part 4
Leadership seems to be the buzzword of our times. Bookstores now have multiple rows upon rows of books concerning this particular subject. Some of the content is very good and can help a person to hone their management skills and work toward becoming self-disciplined in a manner that will prove good for the organization that they are serving. I personally have benefited from some of the secular leadership books that I have read over the years. Despite all of these necessary and good resources only a small, in fact, microscopic amount of these books address spiritual issues in the life of the leader.
There aren’t any spiritual leadership concepts given in the books that Jim Collins has written. Patrick Lencioni does not address the spiritual side of a man who wants to build a Fortune 500 company. Peter Drucker’s works have almost elevated him posthumously to an exalted messiah among the leadership gurus of the last century. If we are not careful, there can be a tendency to think that we can build a church the same way that Steve Jobs made Apple successful. Once a spiritual leader buys into that particular idea that he can build a spiritual church with the same techniques that a profit-driven company is built, he deceives himself and he will create spiritual mayhem with the sheep he is meant to feed.
Spiritually abusive leaders are often very ambitious and driven toward success. It is important to understand the motives that drive men in spiritual leadership because our motives say much about our true intentions. Gary McIntosh in his book, Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership, identifies five types of leadership styles that lead toward tendencies to be spiritually abusive. The compulsive leader is characterized by being status conscious, looking for reassurance and approval from those in authority. He will have a tendency to try to control activities and keep order at all times doing this by being an extreme workaholic. They can be excessively moralistic, conscientious, and judgmental. He may have an angry and rebellious attitude but will repress his true feelings and hold in the anger and resentment. When these dark emotions turn on the church, the atmosphere immediately turns into one of control and extreme authoritarianism.
There are certain traits that usually show up in the preaching style of a compulsive leader. He will frequently be a gifted and charismatic speaker but has the tendency to minimize any impact of the Scriptures unless they are going to serve his own agenda. He will also be the hero of all of his stories and listeners will be “amazed” at his feats in personal outreach/evangelism, prayer schedule, and devotion to the Scriptures. He may even say something like this; “I am God’s appointed authority in your life. If you oppose me you’re opposing God.” He will almost have the capacity to turn himself into a rock star for a lack of a better description. He leads people to follow him instead of the Lord.
[ read more...]
It's Mine! Mine! Mine!
I couldn’t believe it. One hand gripping his toy. The other clinched into a tightened fist. He seemed ready to clobber anyone who came near enough to threaten his prized possession. I don't remember what the toy was, but I'll never forget the spoiled defiance the child displayed as the parent tried to free it from his hand.
The toy was not his. It belonged to another child. The parent, embarrassed, was trying to retrieve it. It was not going to come easy. With feet stomping and face grimaced, he yelled, "It’s mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!"
Spirits come against the Church in all forms. Lust has destroyed many ministries and churches. Jealousy had also brought down his fare share of great congregations. Pride as well has been victorious over many of God’s elect. The list goes on and on. To say it doesn’t is to not face the reality that we are in a great war with evil.
There is another Spirit that has been shown to me of recent months. His name is Mine.
Mine is a proud spirit. In fact, he and Pride work very well together. He does his greatest work in seemingly mature congregants. He works to introduce the spirit of Possessiveness in people’s hearts.
How humble people are when they first come to Christ. On bended knee we repent of past sins and plead with God for a new fleshly heart. For weeks and months we are happy, just to be a part of the Kingdom. Enjoying God’s blessings and the fellowship of his people, we start a wonderful new life.
Everything goes along just as Christ planned it for the new convert. They are growing in newness of Life. They are learning to trust Him and find healing for the wounds in their hearts. Mine however, lurks in the shadows. He hides, waiting for the perfect opportunity to pounce. However, he has no chance as long as Humility fills the heart of the new child of God.
[ read more...]
It's Mine! Mine! Mine!
I couldn’t believe it. One hand gripping his toy. The other clinched into a tightened fist. He seemed ready to clobber anyone who came near enough to threaten his prized possession. I don't remember what the toy was, but I'll never forget the spoiled defiance the child displayed as the parent tried to free it from his hand.
The toy was not his. It belonged to another child. The parent, embarrassed, was trying to retrieve it. It was not going to come easy. With feet stomping and face grimaced, he yelled, "It’s mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!"
Spirits come against the Church in all forms. Lust has destroyed many ministries and churches. Jealousy had also brought down his fare share of great congregations. Pride as well has been victorious over many of God’s elect. The list goes on and on. To say it doesn’t is to not face the reality that we are in a great war with evil.
There is another Spirit that has been shown to me of recent months. His name is Mine.
Mine is a proud spirit. In fact, he and Pride work very well together. He does his greatest work in seemingly mature congregants. He works to introduce the spirit of Possessiveness in people’s hearts.
How humble people are when they first come to Christ. On bended knee we repent of past sins and plead with God for a new fleshly heart. For weeks and months we are happy, just to be a part of the Kingdom. Enjoying God’s blessings and the fellowship of his people, we start a wonderful new life.
Everything goes along just as Christ planned it for the new convert. They are growing in newness of Life. They are learning to trust Him and find healing for the wounds in their hearts. Mine however, lurks in the shadows. He hides, waiting for the perfect opportunity to pounce. However, he has no chance as long as Humility fills the heart of the new child of God.
[ read more...]
How Do You Demonstrate Leadership?
Fundamental principles underlie the thinking and conduct of all true leaders, and these principles are even sharply defined for leaders within the kingdom of God. From time to time those whom the Lord has chosen for leadership need to examine themselves in the mirror of thought- provoking maxims. These proverbs are designed to help Christian leaders move forward in administrative excellence.
Responsible leaders do not make irresponsible statements.
A godly leader speaks out of the presence of God.
A humble leader never makes light of eternal truths, but esteems them with reverence.
A wise leader resolves conflicts peacefully, not forcefully.
An enduring leader withstands insult without anger.
A wholesome leader is characterized by tolerance, which saves him from hasty decisions in crisis, and retaliations in the face of contrariness.
The good leader attempts to make friends, not enemies.
Dealing harshly with opponents causes more aggravation and hostility. A polite leader uses gentleness and kindness.
[ read more...]
How Do You Demonstrate Leadership?
Fundamental principles underlie the thinking and conduct of all true leaders, and these principles are even sharply defined for leaders within the kingdom of God. From time to time those whom the Lord has chosen for leadership need to examine themselves in the mirror of thought- provoking maxims. These proverbs are designed to help Christian leaders move forward in administrative excellence.
Responsible leaders do not make irresponsible statements.
A godly leader speaks out of the presence of God.
A humble leader never makes light of eternal truths, but esteems them with reverence.
A wise leader resolves conflicts peacefully, not forcefully.
An enduring leader withstands insult without anger.
A wholesome leader is characterized by tolerance, which saves him from hasty decisions in crisis, and retaliations in the face of contrariness.
The good leader attempts to make friends, not enemies.
Dealing harshly with opponents causes more aggravation and hostility. A polite leader uses gentleness and kindness.
[ read more...]
Bi-vocational Ministry Insights
Bi-vocational ministry is an essential weave in the fabric of the church today. It is a common and yet very misunderstood form of ministry, and often even by those involved in it.
The term “bi-vocational” infers that a person has two vocations. If a pastor or minister is bi-vocational it indicates he or she has another source of income beyond the church.
The term “bi-vocational” does not mean “part time”. One may be receiving a partial salary, but in reality he is still a full-time pastor or minister. Perhaps the best way to define a pastor who receives all of his income from a church is “fully funded”, not “full-time”.
In today’s challenging economy many individuals choose the role of bi-vocational ministry over a fully funded one. If you are one of those I assure you that you are not on an island alone. It is important that you accept your bi-vocational role, as a valid form of ministry, but also that you understand its potential limitations.
Bi-vocational Ministry Insights
Bi-vocational ministry is an essential weave in the fabric of the church today. It is a common and yet very misunderstood form of ministry, and often even by those involved in it.
The term “bi-vocational” infers that a person has two vocations. If a pastor or minister is bi-vocational it indicates he or she has another source of income beyond the church.
The term “bi-vocational” does not mean “part time”. One may be receiving a partial salary, but in reality he is still a full-time pastor or minister. Perhaps the best way to define a pastor who receives all of his income from a church is “fully funded”, not “full-time”.
In today’s challenging economy many individuals choose the role of bi-vocational ministry over a fully funded one. If you are one of those I assure you that you are not on an island alone. It is important that you accept your bi-vocational role, as a valid form of ministry, but also that you understand its potential limitations.
Those wonderful complainers!
Don't you love them? They add so much to a church or organization. Their destructive attitude is so encouraging. They build faith in all who fall prey to their vile contempt. They're such a blessing!
It is funny though, how some people hate to hear a complaint, but love to be the one complaining. I suppose there are many reasons why a person complains. However, I doubt anyone realizes the full impact of it's destructive ability.
Several years ago, I was working on a job with a fellow leader in the church. We were working the midnight shift in a factory. As the night went on, I found myself complaining to this brother about my situation. At the time I felt justified because it was late and I was tired. I was also hurting emotionally and felt that people in the church should be more sensitive to my families needs. I had a list of reasons why it was OK for me to complain.
It has been over 11 years since that night and I have regretted it ever since. I cannot tell you how many times I have asked God to forgive me for allowing that negative spirit to work through me that night.
The real reason I feel so bad about that particular night, is that in fact the church people had been absolutely wonderful to us. They treated us with respect. They often blessed us financially. They always encouraged us. They took us in when we had nothing to offer them in return and placed us in leadership. As I said they were wonderful to us!
I bare my soul today only to point out how simple it is at times to feel justified to complain. I believe it is true that the majority of people who complain, are complaining about people who they actually owe a great debt of gratitude to.
Some time ago we had a man in our church who was a graduate of the school of complaining. This guy had a Masters degree in it. At first, I thought he had a valid points. However, as the years went by and we all grew weary of his negative verbiage, we also began to see the real problem. In fact he was his own problem.
The people he complained about were actually wonderful people who he owed a great debt to. Even his boss who he often attacked, had to have been an angel to have kept this guy employed. The boss was actually trying to help the man by keeping him on. Yet all the time this guy did nothing but talk bad about him.
This man finally left our church. I am thankful for the strong folks in the church who would not listen to him destroy their Pastor. I am also thankful he is gone. I did not realize at the time how much of my energy was being spent trying to please a man who could never be pleased.
The day after he left, the sky was blue and the birds were again singing. In fact they were singing to me. They were singing me praises and telling me how good I am as a Pastor. They were singing these praises from the tops of the trees for all the world to hear. Opps...sorry about that...reality check! O.K. so it wasn't the birds, but it was one or two wonderful people who attended the church I Pastored. They saw what the man was trying to do and thwarted it with praises.
Praise someone today!
Those wonderful complainers!
Don't you love them? They add so much to a church or organization. Their destructive attitude is so encouraging. They build faith in all who fall prey to their vile contempt. They're such a blessing!
It is funny though, how some people hate to hear a complaint, but love to be the one complaining. I suppose there are many reasons why a person complains. However, I doubt anyone realizes the full impact of it's destructive ability.
Several years ago, I was working on a job with a fellow leader in the church. We were working the midnight shift in a factory. As the night went on, I found myself complaining to this brother about my situation. At the time I felt justified because it was late and I was tired. I was also hurting emotionally and felt that people in the church should be more sensitive to my families needs. I had a list of reasons why it was OK for me to complain.
It has been over 11 years since that night and I have regretted it ever since. I cannot tell you how many times I have asked God to forgive me for allowing that negative spirit to work through me that night.
The real reason I feel so bad about that particular night, is that in fact the church people had been absolutely wonderful to us. They treated us with respect. They often blessed us financially. They always encouraged us. They took us in when we had nothing to offer them in return and placed us in leadership. As I said they were wonderful to us!
I bare my soul today only to point out how simple it is at times to feel justified to complain. I believe it is true that the majority of people who complain, are complaining about people who they actually owe a great debt of gratitude to.
Some time ago we had a man in our church who was a graduate of the school of complaining. This guy had a Masters degree in it. At first, I thought he had a valid points. However, as the years went by and we all grew weary of his negative verbiage, we also began to see the real problem. In fact he was his own problem.
The people he complained about were actually wonderful people who he owed a great debt to. Even his boss who he often attacked, had to have been an angel to have kept this guy employed. The boss was actually trying to help the man by keeping him on. Yet all the time this guy did nothing but talk bad about him.
This man finally left our church. I am thankful for the strong folks in the church who would not listen to him destroy their Pastor. I am also thankful he is gone. I did not realize at the time how much of my energy was being spent trying to please a man who could never be pleased.
The day after he left, the sky was blue and the birds were again singing. In fact they were singing to me. They were singing me praises and telling me how good I am as a Pastor. They were singing these praises from the tops of the trees for all the world to hear. Opps...sorry about that...reality check! O.K. so it wasn't the birds, but it was one or two wonderful people who attended the church I Pastored. They saw what the man was trying to do and thwarted it with praises.
Praise someone today!
Are You Listening To Me!
I can hear my mother still to this day yelling, "Are you listening to me?" Being the single mother of 5 children left her without much patience. I believe much of her frustration as a single, struggling mom, was she felt that no one heard her.
Mom worked all kinds of jobs to try to provide for us kids, so she was not home much. We pretty much raised ourselves. My 4 brothers and sisters were just about as unruly as children left to their own devices could get.
When Mom finally made a pit stop at the house, she would find it in shambles. Then, with the frustration of a mother trying to do her best, but failing miserably, she would simply lose it. "Are you kids listening to me?" The truth of the matter was, we weren't listening to a word she was saying. We were too busy having a blast doing our own thing.
I once read a story of a pastor who was asked by a woman in his church for a few minutes of his time. The pastor agreed to meet with her and while they talked, she said flatly to the pastor, "My father molested me when I was a little girl". Without missing a beat, the pastor said, "I believe you." The woman was shocked! She couldn't believe that someone had finally believed her.
Through tears she said, "For years I have tried to tell my family members, but no one would listen to me". It was such a relief to finally have someone who listened and believed her. The pastor asked, "What can I do for you?" "Nothing she replied, I just needed someone to listen and believe me."
[ read more...]
Are You Listening To Me!
I can hear my mother still to this day yelling, "Are you listening to me?" Being the single mother of 5 children left her without much patience. I believe much of her frustration as a single, struggling mom, was she felt that no one heard her.
Mom worked all kinds of jobs to try to provide for us kids, so she was not home much. We pretty much raised ourselves. My 4 brothers and sisters were just about as unruly as children left to their own devices could get.
When Mom finally made a pit stop at the house, she would find it in shambles. Then, with the frustration of a mother trying to do her best, but failing miserably, she would simply lose it. "Are you kids listening to me?" The truth of the matter was, we weren't listening to a word she was saying. We were too busy having a blast doing our own thing.
I once read a story of a pastor who was asked by a woman in his church for a few minutes of his time. The pastor agreed to meet with her and while they talked, she said flatly to the pastor, "My father molested me when I was a little girl". Without missing a beat, the pastor said, "I believe you." The woman was shocked! She couldn't believe that someone had finally believed her.
Through tears she said, "For years I have tried to tell my family members, but no one would listen to me". It was such a relief to finally have someone who listened and believed her. The pastor asked, "What can I do for you?" "Nothing she replied, I just needed someone to listen and believe me."
[ read more...]
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