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The Ideal Mentor Always....
1. Tells you the truth – even when it hurts.
One man who has been one of my mentors for almost 18 years especially stands out because of his honesty with me. Early in my ministry and marriage, he pulled me aside and explained to me that I was not very respectful to my wife in public. He explained that the ladies of the church would not honor me as a minister for this reason. At the time I was offended that he would tell me this as I thought I was very good to my wife. However, years later, I see where he was coming from. I’m grateful that he was bold enough and honest enough to talk to me about a sensitive subject. Honoring my wife and publicly showing her affection has not only given me respect among the other ladies of the church, but has also been a blessing to our marriage.
2. Shows a good example for you to follow.
The old cliché “Do as I say, not as I do.” Does not work in mentoring. A lifelong mentor should be someone who is a model of who you want to become. Everyone is a little bit like the people who have parented them. Part of a mentor’s role is to let the protégé watch them closely in the work that they do. One of my mentors would often times invite me to sit in on important meetings that I had no experience in. I would never say a word unless asked my input. I understood that I was there to observe and to learn. I watched my mentor closely to see how he handled fragile situations that I had no experience in. I would often ask myself how I would handle these often sensitive meetings, but would then watch my mentor expertly handle delicate subjects with Godly wisdom.
3. Sees you as family.
Mentoring someone is a life long commitment. Your best mentors are not people who are only a part of your life for a short amount of time. A mentor sees you as a son or daughter in the Gospel. Paul who mentored Timothy referred to him as his son. Anything less than a family level commitment may prove to be a surface only relationship between mentor and protégé. Often times, subjects discussed in a mentoring relationship are sensitive and personal. A protégé needs to know that he is going to someone who is a father figure who only has the protégé’s best interest in mind.
4. Shows himself/herself to be open and transparent with you.
A good mentor is someone who is not afraid to talk to those they mentor about their failures as well as their successes. My father would often say to me, “Don’t make the same mistakes that I have made.” This is a good reason for mentors to be open with their protégés. You may save that person a tremendous amount of pain and numerous mistakes by revealing to them the mistakes you yourself have made along the way.
5. Teaches
Personally I find it hard to explain to people how I do the things that I do well. Some things come naturally to me, but I find it hard to explain or articulate to others how or why I do what I do. As a mentor, it’s important for me to slow down and explain the process to those I mentor. It’s often times harder to explain the process than do it, but the protégé needs to be able to learn from the mentor’s giftedness.
6. Sees and believes in your potential.
You cannot effectively mentor another unless you see something in them that they may not see in themselves. You have to be someone who is capable of causing them to become someone better than who they currently are. If you look at that person and only see their shortcomings, then you may not be the best person to mentor them. When you mentor someone, you are investing a portion of your life into them. You will not want to invest that level of commitment in someone you do not see tremendous potential in. When I look at a person, I try hard to not see them as they are, but to see them as they can become. Honestly, I am often very critical of people at first. This is a problem I have identified in my own personality. However, through prayer and looking through the eyes of Jesus at people, I can see tremendous potential that I never would have seen with the natural eye.
7. Is someone who can help you bring your vision into a reality.
Thru the years, I have had many dreams and visions of God’s will for my life and ministry. My mentors have helped me understand my various burdens and help me keep in check which visions were possible and which ones were not. One mentor recently chuckled and told me there is no possible way to do all that I currently want to do for the Lord. He helped me understand that I need to pace myself and that God will give me the helps along the way to accomplish all I have a vision for. However, for the mean time, do only what I can humanly do.
8. Is open to learn from you.
Someone once told a joke that God was referring to Solomon when He said, “Ya, I made him so smart, he started to teach Me.” It is entirely possible that a protégé may eventually have something to bring to the table. As a person matures and develops, they may even surpass the wisdom and knowledge of their mentor in a given area. This is to be expected and hoped for. This is the purpose of mentoring, so that the next generation of leaders will have learned from the experiences of those they glean from. A mentor offers his protégé a tremendous gift when he allows that person to teach them something. This shows the protégé that he has graduated in a certain area. It also shows him that he is honored among those he honors.
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10 Steps To A Balanced Ministry
Ministry is an occupation where balance is often hard to find. While others punch a clock and work only one job, the minister is often times required to wear multiple hats and even work a secular job as well. Here are 10 points to consider to discover balance for your life and ministry.
Stay focused
Your dedication to what God has called you to do will require stringent concentration. There are going to be many opportunities for you to become distracted. Stay Focused. Remain prayerful and know that God has called you to a work because of your uniqueness and giftedness.
Create written goals
Daily, weekly, monthly and annual goals are accomplished best when they are written down. Writing down your goals will give you a constant daily reminder of what you are trying to achieve. Something as simple as a daily list of things to do, is also a list of written goals.
Make plans – Build a bridge
How do you get from where you are to where you want to be? Plan for it to happen. Wishing and hoping will not accomplish your life’s goals. You have to make it happen. You can do this by building a bridge from where you are to where you want to go. This is called a plan. Once you have a plan, you start at the beginning and work your way through it until you reach your goal. Stop wishing and make a plan. Then work that plan.
Ask for help
You are not the only genius in your church. God has placed some people around you, who if you will begin to enable them, will make your job a lot easier. If you try to do it all yourself, your church will never grow. Spend your time working your plan through other people. Have you ever heard the expression “Other People’s Money” when it comes to investing money? Well, “Other People’s Time and Talents needs to be the expression we adopt in the church. Enable, entrust and employ the people in your church to help you accomplish your goals.
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10 Steps To A Balanced Ministry
Ministry is an occupation where balance is often hard to find. While others punch a clock and work only one job, the minister is often times required to wear multiple hats and even work a secular job as well. Here are 10 points to consider to discover balance for your life and ministry.
Stay focused
Your dedication to what God has called you to do will require stringent concentration. There are going to be many opportunities for you to become distracted. Stay Focused. Remain prayerful and know that God has called you to a work because of your uniqueness and giftedness.
Create written goals
Daily, weekly, monthly and annual goals are accomplished best when they are written down. Writing down your goals will give you a constant daily reminder of what you are trying to achieve. Something as simple as a daily list of things to do, is also a list of written goals.
Make plans – Build a bridge
How do you get from where you are to where you want to be? Plan for it to happen. Wishing and hoping will not accomplish your life’s goals. You have to make it happen. You can do this by building a bridge from where you are to where you want to go. This is called a plan. Once you have a plan, you start at the beginning and work your way through it until you reach your goal. Stop wishing and make a plan. Then work that plan.
Ask for help
You are not the only genius in your church. God has placed some people around you, who if you will begin to enable them, will make your job a lot easier. If you try to do it all yourself, your church will never grow. Spend your time working your plan through other people. Have you ever heard the expression “Other People’s Money” when it comes to investing money? Well, “Other People’s Time and Talents needs to be the expression we adopt in the church. Enable, entrust and employ the people in your church to help you accomplish your goals.
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Signs Still Follow True Believers
An alarming trend in the 21st Century church is the accepted absence of signs, wonders, miracles and healing. Many people believe in but simply have not seen the spiritual manifestations of God. The result is an uncertainty and a lack of confidence in the operation of spiritual gifts and faith. The absence of manifestation makes it difficult to have absolute trust in God’s present ability to do anything. Men and women are hesitant to step out and “take chances” on God because they have never seen or experienced God under such circumstances.
This weakens the effect of the Word because the one speaking does not have true faith in its ability. The same Jesus who did not many mighty works in His home country due to their unbelief (Matthew 13:58) will not do many works in your life and church for the same reason.
The more unfamiliar we become with spiritual and miraculous manifestations of God the more humanistic we become in our understanding of Him. I am astounded as I listen to preachers who have little to no understanding or experience in spiritual things. They make excuses and deny the power and authority of God without realizing it. They belittle as weird those who have experiences. His Word becomes a lifeless book that has no power....
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Signs Still Follow True Believers
An alarming trend in the 21st Century church is the accepted absence of signs, wonders, miracles and healing. Many people believe in but simply have not seen the spiritual manifestations of God. The result is an uncertainty and a lack of confidence in the operation of spiritual gifts and faith. The absence of manifestation makes it difficult to have absolute trust in God’s present ability to do anything. Men and women are hesitant to step out and “take chances” on God because they have never seen or experienced God under such circumstances.
This weakens the effect of the Word because the one speaking does not have true faith in its ability. The same Jesus who did not many mighty works in His home country due to their unbelief (Matthew 13:58) will not do many works in your life and church for the same reason.
The more unfamiliar we become with spiritual and miraculous manifestations of God the more humanistic we become in our understanding of Him. I am astounded as I listen to preachers who have little to no understanding or experience in spiritual things. They make excuses and deny the power and authority of God without realizing it. They belittle as weird those who have experiences. His Word becomes a lifeless book that has no power....
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If you don’t clarify the purposes as the leader, who will?
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Believe it or not, the bigger your vision, the easier it is to reach. People are rarely motivated by small visions. They will follow a big vision easier than a little one. People need a purpose. Giving them a grand vision will enable them to connect as some level with that vision. If your vision is narrow, you may fail to interest some people. However, if your vision is large, it will leave plenty of room for others to get involved....
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There’s a difference between leadership and management. Management consists primarily of three things: analysis, problem solving and planning. If you go to any management course, you’ll find it revolves around those three things. But leadership consists of communicating your Vision and Values.
If you don’t clarify the purposes as the leader, who will?
Here are a few guidelines:
Believe it or not, the bigger your vision, the easier it is to reach. People are rarely motivated by small visions. They will follow a big vision easier than a little one. People need a purpose. Giving them a grand vision will enable them to connect as some level with that vision. If your vision is narrow, you may fail to interest some people. However, if your vision is large, it will leave plenty of room for others to get involved....
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Staying Focused in Your Area of Ministry
(This is an excellent article for Pastors to share with anyone involved in leadership or ministry in their church.)
Sometimes you just have to say it like it is. This is one of those times. I offer this to you in a gentle spirit and pray that if you share it with others on your team, that you would do so in a spirit of gentleness and meekness.
John Maxwell says “Only do what only you can do.” This is important in the various areas of ministry of the local church. One thing that stops the momentum of a church is various leaders trying to run someone else’s ministry. When God has placed you in an area of ministry within the church, he did not put you there so you could judge other lay ministers of the church. Do your job and let others do theirs.....
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Staying Focused in Your Area of Ministry
(This is an excellent article for Pastors to share with anyone involved in leadership or ministry in their church.)
Sometimes you just have to say it like it is. This is one of those times. I offer this to you in a gentle spirit and pray that if you share it with others on your team, that you would do so in a spirit of gentleness and meekness.
John Maxwell says “Only do what only you can do.” This is important in the various areas of ministry of the local church. One thing that stops the momentum of a church is various leaders trying to run someone else’s ministry. When God has placed you in an area of ministry within the church, he did not put you there so you could judge other lay ministers of the church. Do your job and let others do theirs.....
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How To Lead Critics
Get up before they get up. If you are lazy and don’t get started on things until the last minute, your critics will have already accomplished an alternative less effective way of doing things.
Do your homework – Study the situation. Don’t take other peoples word for it. Research the problem and with God’s help, find the best solution.
You run the meetings – Never let anyone but you or someone you desire, to run a meeting. If they take the platform, shut them down. Don’t let them take over the meeting. Never walk into a meeting without knowing the direction and result that the meeting will bring.
Know the trouble makers past – Find out what makes that person tick. Why are they the way they are? Knowing more about them will enable you to understand why they feel the way they feel about things and enable you to change them.
Share your vision with others before your critic gets the opportunity to share theirs. These are busy little people and they work hard at spreading their opinions. Work harder! Have coffee meetings where you tell others your dreams and vision. Go to congregants homes unexpectedly (As your critics do.) and open your heart to them.
Be confident. No one wants a sissy for a Pastor. (Sorry if that sounds demeaning, but I’ve seen some.) Don’t be bullied. Be strong. Know your calling. Walk tall. Square your shoulders. Lead! People will follow. You may lose some critics along the way, (Let them go!) but you will gain a congregation who will follow you into revival.
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How To Lead Critics
Get up before they get up. If you are lazy and don’t get started on things until the last minute, your critics will have already accomplished an alternative less effective way of doing things.
Do your homework – Study the situation. Don’t take other peoples word for it. Research the problem and with God’s help, find the best solution.
You run the meetings – Never let anyone but you or someone you desire, to run a meeting. If they take the platform, shut them down. Don’t let them take over the meeting. Never walk into a meeting without knowing the direction and result that the meeting will bring.
Know the trouble makers past – Find out what makes that person tick. Why are they the way they are? Knowing more about them will enable you to understand why they feel the way they feel about things and enable you to change them.
Share your vision with others before your critic gets the opportunity to share theirs. These are busy little people and they work hard at spreading their opinions. Work harder! Have coffee meetings where you tell others your dreams and vision. Go to congregants homes unexpectedly (As your critics do.) and open your heart to them.
Be confident. No one wants a sissy for a Pastor. (Sorry if that sounds demeaning, but I’ve seen some.) Don’t be bullied. Be strong. Know your calling. Walk tall. Square your shoulders. Lead! People will follow. You may lose some critics along the way, (Let them go!) but you will gain a congregation who will follow you into revival.
[ read more...]
Guard the Gates - Part 1
It is imperative that a minister guards the gates of his mind. He is constantly under the assault and duress of the devil and because of this, our mind must be worked on very diligently to prevent the capture of it. Don’t be surprised at the tares, which may loom among the wheat because this is the way it has to be. In fact Paul cautioned the ever-vigilant servant when he expressed the fact that there must be heresies to grow like clover in a pasture. The reason is for the church to be approved by God (1 Cor. 11:19)....
[ read more...]
Guard the Gates - Part 1
It is imperative that a minister guards the gates of his mind. He is constantly under the assault and duress of the devil and because of this, our mind must be worked on very diligently to prevent the capture of it. Don’t be surprised at the tares, which may loom among the wheat because this is the way it has to be. In fact Paul cautioned the ever-vigilant servant when he expressed the fact that there must be heresies to grow like clover in a pasture. The reason is for the church to be approved by God (1 Cor. 11:19)....
[ read more...]
Why Do I Feel so Alone although I Minister to Others?
Although you may feel like you are the only one, you are not. A large percentage of other pastors and ministers also feel isolated and alone even as they minister to crowds of people on a regular basis. The feeling of isolation or of being alone plagues many ministers and their spouses. This article identifies 12 causes and potential solutions. It also validates a few of the many needs for spiritual Fathers and/or mentors.
The vast majority of Christian leaders do not actually have a mentor or spiritual father in their life.
Each of the following topics could be a guideline for validating the need for a mentor in your life and ministry.
The Isolation of the Calling
If you truly have a calling from God you may be the only one with that particular call. Even a quick cursory review of the Bible reveals men like Abraham, Moses, Joseph, David, Elijah, Jeremiah who felt the pain of isolation and solitude. They had no peers.
Elijah even stated once that he was the only one like himself, but God quickly corrected him by saying there were 7000 others similar to him. Your isolation may have many ingredients such as location, a unique but misunderstood calling, not relating to the people around you, and many others....
[ read more...]
Why Do I Feel so Alone although I Minister to Others?
Although you may feel like you are the only one, you are not. A large percentage of other pastors and ministers also feel isolated and alone even as they minister to crowds of people on a regular basis. The feeling of isolation or of being alone plagues many ministers and their spouses. This article identifies 12 causes and potential solutions. It also validates a few of the many needs for spiritual Fathers and/or mentors.
The vast majority of Christian leaders do not actually have a mentor or spiritual father in their life.
Each of the following topics could be a guideline for validating the need for a mentor in your life and ministry.
The Isolation of the Calling
If you truly have a calling from God you may be the only one with that particular call. Even a quick cursory review of the Bible reveals men like Abraham, Moses, Joseph, David, Elijah, Jeremiah who felt the pain of isolation and solitude. They had no peers.
Elijah even stated once that he was the only one like himself, but God quickly corrected him by saying there were 7000 others similar to him. Your isolation may have many ingredients such as location, a unique but misunderstood calling, not relating to the people around you, and many others....
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