Why Do People Leave The Church?

Knowing some answers to this question can not only keep a church from losing some great people, but will also bring a church into revival as the back door is closed to a large degree.

It’s kind of like money.  It’s not how much you make, it’s how much you save.  Some count their new converts by the hundreds, but few of these converts are still in the church a year later. 

People leave the church because of boring sermons.  Some people can tell when a preacher is shooting from the hip or preaching to the choir.  “Study to show yourself approved.”   You are not going to keep some people unless your messages are getting into their heart and mind.   They have come to hear a Word from God.  Get one from the Lord for yourself and then give it to the congregation.

People leave the church because they feel the ministry does not care about them.  Greet them, shake their hands, phone them, write them a letter, smile at them, visit them when they are sick, send them a card when you can’t.  Let them know you care.  One kind word spoken at the right moment in a person’s life can cause them to be devoted to you for the rest of their life.

People leave the church because they have no relationships there.  Develop ways for new converts to develop relationships within the church.  Small Groups are a great place for new people to gain those necessary relationships.

The Road Rage Phenonmenon!

What makes people act the way they do when they get in a car.

If I bumped into you as we enter an elevator, I would politely say "excuse me" and that would be it. But if my car comes into your lane and "almost" touches yours, Look Out! How many times we read or see where someone was even beaten up or shot over road rage. Testifying before a House transportation subcommittee, National Highway Traffic Safety Administration officials estimated that two-thirds of the 42,000 highway deaths last year were related to aggressive driving, which appears to have joined drunk driving as a perilous trait of American culture.

Otherwise seemingly, quite, reserved people who turn violent when someone cuts them off in traffic. I've done it and so have you. Nothing irritates me more than sitting at a 4 way stop and the person to my right doesn't know it's their turn to go. And so there we sit, waiting for the other person to go first. I wonder if some folks ever did read the driving manual.

I'm sure all of us at one time or another have been rewarded with that certain hand gesture by someone who felt we offended them in traffic. I've even had young girls offer that one now and then. (Maybe I'm just a bad driver.) How could someone give such an offending gesture to someone they don't even know?

Well, that's really what I want to talk about. I only reminded you about your road rage to make a point. The fact is, people experience road rage, because they don't know you. There is nothing personal about driving past someone on the road. Yours is only a very brief encounter. You will never see them again. They can say or do what they want to you and they will never have to face up to it. Your relationship has no value. And as a result, neither do you. Isn't that sad?! (I'll give you a little hint. If you need to get into a lane and no one will let you into it, simply roll the window down and give them a big smile and wave. Now they will let you in.) Try it.

As long as you are only another car on the road, you don't matter. But when you become a face and a person with a smile, well that's another story. They'll stop the traffic in their lane to let you in. I'll admit, I'm a horrible driver. Just ask my wife, she'll tell you. But even she knows that I can cut into any lane of traffic I want, because of a smile and a wave.

I wonder though how many of us have this same mentality even when we get out of our cars. Hmm, let's try a little test here. Let's say you are on vacation and a few hundred miles out, you stop to have dinner at a restaurant. You know, at one of those places where they cook everything in lard. What happens if the service or food is bad? Do you tip her any way? Well you don't have to do you?! After all, she doesn't even know you. Well, you might even be able to get off a couple of "complaints" to her since she won't see you in church this week.

It's Your Time!

A few years ago, I hired a man to work for me who was from Africa. His family had brought him to the United States and he was in need of job skills. My small painting company was a great place for him to learn a trade. Frances was a pure joy to work with. He was happy every day. He would sing beautifully as he worked and often expressed his appreciation to me for giving him a job. He was fun and often told funny jokes. He was always ready for work on time. His attitude was perfect. However, I had to fire him.

Frances did not understand the value of time. One day he would paint 30 doors, the next day he would paint 2. After speaking to the family member who was his sponsor to the US, she told me that in Africa, time is of little value. She said, “people where he came from do not place a value on time. If something did not get done today, that’s ok, it can get done tomorrow.” Unfortunately, we in the US do not and cannot look at time this way. I knew how much Frances’s time was worth not only to him, but also to me. As his employer, I had to cause Frances to improve his time to show a profit or I would lose money on each job he did for me. Frances was unable to change his way of thinking regarding time and as a result I had to let him go.

The Bible itself begins with a reference of time, “In the beginning”. Time has always been important to God. A reading of the early chapters of Genesis shows God creating the world as sequential event. Christ Himself did not come to this world until His time was fulfilled and when it was time, he returned to glory. Time is important to God, and it should be important to His ministers.

Some people view time like Frances did. It simply did not matter. “Didn’t do it today? That’s ok, do it tomorrow.” The fact of the matter is, we only have one life. We are only allowed so many days, hours, minutes and seconds in this life. At some appointed second in time we will pass from this life.

The Chinese Bamboo Tree

When I read of this amazing wonder of life, I can't help but think of the time and effort we invest into our ministries, often without any evidence of growth or life. There have been many times I have personally invested my time, talent and finances into a person or ministry without evidence that it would pay off. There have been times, because of this, that I have given up on a person. Yet, there have also been times after giving up, that I have seen a breakthrough, and that person I worked with finally accepts a bible study. They finally come to church. They receive the Holy Ghost. Those years of hard work and effort finally pay off.

The Bible states;

Gal 6:7-9

7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

Shut Up and March

While in Bible College many years ago I was fortunate enough to be selected for the Chorale. It was a big thing to make the Chorale. We were to go on a two-week tour during the summer break. It was the highlight of our summer. I don't know why, but recently one of the songs we sang during that summer tour has been on my mind. I can't remember much of the song except the main line of the chorus, which was also the title of the song. It was called, "Shut up and March".

The theme of the song centers around the idea that talk can only do so much good. There is a time to quit talking and a time to get on with the business at hand. I frequently tell my employees, "A little less chatter and a little more clatter, please." I think you get the idea.

When Israel fled from Egypt after 400 years of slavery they thought they had gained their freedom. The Pharaoh had finally relented and allowed them to go. On their very first night of freedom, they set up camp on the shores of the Red Sea. I can imagine how their spirits were soaring. They were looking forward to a bright future. However, in a moment's notice, their freedom was taken from them again. The Pharaoh had changed his mind. He had assembled his mighty army and come to take Israel back. When Israel saw the Egyptian Army they panicked and began to cry out to God. They began to curse Moses for leading them out.

When this barrage of words came against Moses, he responded with some of the most inspiring words in Scripture;

Ex 14:13-14

13 And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will shew to you to day: for the Egyptians whom ye have seen to day, ye shall see them again no more for ever.

14 The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.

Still Walking on Asphalt

It's nice and relaxing to sit back and close our eyes and let the words of John come to life in our minds as he describes that great City.  We look around and see the great and high wall which is made of jasper.  In fact, the whole city is pure gold like unto clear glass.  The foundations of the wall are garnished with all manner of precious stones.  We notice that there are twelve gates and they are all pearls.  What a beautiful, pure river that flows from the throne of God!  And finally we look down and to our delight, the streets are pure gold.  That's right, not just paved with gold, but they ARE pure gold.  What a beautiful City that He has prepared for us!   Heaven is going to be wonderful!

However, eventually we have to open our eyes again and realize that we are still here.  The trumpet of the Lord has not sounded yet.  We haven't been raptured away to be with Him.  We aren't yet walking on streets of gold; no, we are still walking on asphalt.

When They've Heard It All Before

How do we preach to those who have heard it all? Here are seven ingredients:

• Round out Bible characters. For many sermon veterans, familiar Bible characters are flat, one dimensional, either good or bad. But real people have inner tensions, complications, and mixed motives. When a preacher portrays that, listeners identify readily.
  
• Get specific about application. An example is more powerful than an explanation. There’s a world of difference between telling someone that prayer changes things and sharing a fresh example of a situation transformed by prayer.
  
• Let it grip your soul. A critical quality in preaching effectively to those who’ve heard it all is sincerity. If our sermon is honest and heartfelt, a truth as common as “Jesus loves you” can thunder in the hearts and minds of our listeners.
  
• Address the tough question. We would like to think that hearing a lot of sermons would answer most of a person’s questions. But people who have heard it all love to hear a preacher tackle the tough ones.
  

Ten Principles for Getting Along With Difficult People

1. Maintain your confidence by being in right relationship with God. You can’t be objective or discerning if you’re not in good standing with God. A strong relationship with God gives you the grace and confidence to deal properly with difficult people.
2. Remember over- reacting will only accentuate the conflict and confuse the issue.
3. Hold realistic expectations. Make sure the difficult person can reach your expectations. You may be expecting him to do or be something that is impossible.
4. Quit trying to change the difficult person. Give up your rights and expectations regarding this person. Accept the fact that you can’t change him, but you can change your reactions to him.
5. Refuse to play his games. He may attempt to use you or make you feel guilty or obligated. Recognize the emotional games, and don’t participate.
6. Don’t allow yourself to become the difficult person’s slave. Be honest with yourself and learn to say no.
7. Keep a proper spirit and attitude. Maintaining credibility is the greatest struggle. Don’t let bitterness, anger, or resentment grow.

Reasons For Financial Difficulties

     According to the latest statistics, over one-half of all families in America are experiencing financial difficulties. This includes single parent homes.  Most people have financial problems, but don’t know why! 

     In order to be aware of the financial difficulties one has and know what causes them, a person must educate himself to the reasons for the difficulties.  The following are a list of reasons that most people find themselves in financial difficulty.

1. FAILURE TO FOLLOW SCRIPTURAL PRINCIPLES.  The Bible is full of guidelines regarding financial principles.  In fact, one-half of all parables and one out of six verses in the New Testament deal with stewardship.  Get your Bible out and start studying.  Ask your pastor for more information.  See a Christian Financial Counselor for assistance.  You will find great guidelines and principles in the Word of God.
2. FAILURE TO IDENTIFY YOUR PRIORITIES.  Just exactly what do you want?  More things or better financial stability?  Prioritize your desires and needs and stick to it.
3. NO DISCIPLINE!  That one horrible word causes us more problems than anything else in the world.  We need to exercise discipline in every phase of our life, especially when it comes to discipline!  Discipline yourself to limit unnecessary purchases and wasting money.  Discipline yourself to set down once per month to analyze your finances.  Discipline will be the greatest thing you can establish in your life. Work diligently with disciplining yourself.
4. FAILURE TO ESTABLISH GOALS.  A person who has no goal is a person without direction.  A person without direction is going…nowhere!  To solve your financial difficulties, you have to establish a clear goal.  Where do you want to be one year from now; five years from now, etc.?  Write your goal down and work toward it.
5. NO CONTROLS.  This compares to discipline, however, it means to have written controls over your spending.  Write down what your limits are.  Review them frequently. 
6. FAILURE TO ESTABLISH A BUDGET.  A budget is not a nervous breakdown on paper.  It is a clear cut guideline of where your money comes from and how it is to be spent.  It only takes about 1 hour per month to maintain a budget so that you can control the process of knowing where your money is and how it is spent.  Don’t negate the importance of a written budget…it will be the greatest factor in helping you get your finances under control.
7. UNABLE TO CONTROL IMPLUSIVE SPENDING.  If you don’t follow the direction of your budget and discipline yourself, you will be unable to stop spending when you see that item that you just must have.  Don’t spend any unnecessary money until you discuss it with someone. You must control your spending if you ever hope to get ahead financially.