Addicted To Anger?

Anyone can become angry.  That is easy.  But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way, that is not easy. - Aristotle

Some of you will not appreciate us quoting from Aristotle, but you have to admit, the guy has a good point.  Anger can eat a person up.  Your true potential as a minister of God can be thwarted by un-harnessed anger.

People who explode and express anger easily can cause great harm to those they are called to encourage.  It’s important for us to understand anger and its potential to destroy.

Exploding because someone hurt you.  When most people get hurt they cry out.  This is natural.  But it is not healthy to express anger every time someone hurts your feelings. 

A good leader has the ability to harness his anger and even displace it toward healthy and more productive avenues.  Mistreating someone because they hurt you is not just.  It is bullying. 

It is entirely possible that the person who hurt you did it unintentionally and without malice.  You would be wise to forgive them quickly and swallow that anger before you create a fissure in a relationship that cannot be mended.

Being addicted to anger.  Some people love to be angry.  They enjoy the feeling of superiority they get when they have told someone off.   They actually look for opportunities to get after someone or give someone a hard time.  Certain hormones even create a strong physical sensation when they really get mad. 

These people are addicted to this hormone and the emotion of anger and have no place in church leadership.  It is important to be a person of peace.  If you find yourself constantly getting angry at others for little reasons, you might be addicted to anger.  Just like any other addict, you can actually build up a tolerance for this drug.  Once this happens, you will find it necessary to constantly become angrier in order to get the same euphoria.  This could end in a terrible way if you do not get deliverance from this addiction. 

Using anger to exploit.  Most people learn to exploit by anger at a very early age.  Babies learn quickly to cry out in anger when they are not getting what they want.  They will use anger tantrums to control their parents who simply want to appease them.

These same people grow up believing that they can use anger to get their way all the time.  On the job, they will use anger to cause others to cave into their demands.  These people may not stomp their feet in the workplace or church office, but you know when they are mad and they will use this to control others.

Myrrh For A Dead God?

"And after this Joseph of Arimathaea, being a disciple of Jesus, but secretly for fear of the Jews, besought Pilate that he might take away the body of Jesus: and Pilate gave him leave. He came therefore, and took the body of Jesus.

And there came also Nicodemus, which at the first came to Jesus by night, and brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about an hundred pound weight.

Then took they the body of Jesus, and wound it in linen clothes with the spices, as the manner of the Jews is to bury." (John 19:38- 40 KJV)

Upon His death, Nicodemus came to Jesus’ tomb and he and Joseph of Arimathaea, wound the body of Jesus with linen clothes and 100 pounds of myrrh and aloes. This amount of burial myrrh and aloes would have been an extreme even for a wealthy person. The usual custom was to use 20 pounds.

Think of this with me. If any of you have ever baled hay on a farm, you know that a bale of hay weighs around 60-70 pounds. This bale being compacted and compressed into some sort of shape by a baler. In Jesus’ day, there were no such machine. They would have had to carry this in a sack of sorts. Imagine the scene of Joseph carrying the roughly 175 pound body of Jesus and Nicodemus carrying the huge sack with 100 pounds of myrrh and aloes for the burial.

Putting myself into this text, I find two men who loved Jesus. Enough, that they would risk their own life to see that the Lord would receive they very best burial they could give. So, Joseph donates his very expensive tomb and Nicodemos, not wanting anyone to smell the decomposing body of Jesus, brings 100 pounds of costly burial aloes. When people walked by the tomb, he wanted them to only notice the beautiful smell of the myrrh and not the rotting flesh of a dead God.

I’m not sure where these two were doctrinally at this point, but I do know that they heard the truth preached to them by the Lord himself. However, I’m not so sure they got what Jesus tried to get them all to understand. “(John 2:19 KJV) Jesus answered and said unto them, Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.”

People often quote John 11:35, “Jesus Wept”. Recently at a funeral of 2 friends, the minister referred to the Lord as a mourner who also wept at the funeral of His friend Lazarus. I don’t believe Jesus wept because his friend was dead. He sure was not too concerned when they told him about Lazarus being sick a few days prior. I am certain that the reason Jesus wept at the tomb of his friend is because of the unbelief of those whom Jesus had spent much time with, trying to convince them that He was the Resurrection. How many funeral processions did Jesus stop to raise the dead? He had proven to all of them that He was able to raise the dead. I believe He went to the tomb of Lazarus hoping to find Mary and Martha sitting in wait, full of faith that regardless of how long it took, Jesus would show up and when He did, He would raise His friend to life again. Jesus did not weep for Lazarus’s death, he wept because of the faithlessness of Mary and Martha. Hear his rebuke to them, (John 11:25 KJV) “Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:”

Leadership Training

How important is it? Consider this. Early in Jesus’ ministry, he chose out 12 men who would become his disciples. His purpose in choosing these 12 men went beyond their need for salvation. His vision was that he might “…make them fishers of men”. Jesus understood immediately upon starting his early ministry that his role was to not only bring salvation to this world, but to also raise up others who would do the same after He was gone.

What would happen to the church or ministry the Lord has given to you should you be removed from the picture today? Is there someone you have been training to do your job? Have you mentored anyone to take your place? Or have you like most ministers been so busy doing your fathers business that you don’t have time to train other leaders.

Jesus understood that this was paramount to all he did in this world. He realized that unless he mentored these 12 men, all he accomplished in this world was in vain as there would be no one to continue it after he left.

Many ministers don’t see the need to raise up other leaders in the church. In fact, many ministers view this as threatening to their own position in the church. Can I suggest to you that this is “small thinking”. Whose kingdom are we working for anyway? If it is ours, we will lose it. If it is God’s, we will gain it. Small thinking hinders revival.

We all so often can find fault in our congregations regarding the lack of growth in the church. We point out all the ways they fail in outreach and preach them into a level of guilt that kills their joy stymies their efforts to share Jesus. Yet, we need to ask ourselves honestly, how many people do we pull aside on a weekly basis to mentor and raise up?

It is a fact that our church will only grow to the level that it’s leadership is able to minister to. A single man or woman will never effectively pastor a church of 200 or more people. It is impossible. A single person can only effectively pastor 70-80 people “if” he is full time. Someone one would say, “But I don’t have time to train other leaders in the church”. Can I say to you, “This should be the first thing you are doing.” You might say , “but I am too busy teaching, preaching, praying for the sick and ministering to the needs of others.” Can I ask you something? What would be so wrong with raising up 5-10 men in your church to do most of these things or even do much of the teaching and some of the preaching for you?

Jesus took his focus off of the multitude on occasions to focus on his 12. He sent them out to do what he had been doing all along. Did they do it exactly like he would have done it every time? Doubtful, but they did get the job done and in greater measure than He alone was able to do it. Jesus understood that 12 was more than one. Do we really understand that? Or do we think “I” am the only one who can do this job. “I” am the only one called to do this job. “I” am the only one anointed to do this job.

How soon do you...

How soon do you begin training people in leadership positions.  Well, let me ask you – how long do you wait to help a baby walk?  Until they learn to do it on their own?  No, early in their development, you take them by the hands, lift them up, steady them and one step at a time you help them learn balance, endurance and strength.  If you wait until a person is already involved in leadership to use them, they may have gotten their leadership skills from a source such as the corporate world where the same values are not shared in the church.  Start working with people early.  Trust them.  Some will fail and embarrass you.  Others will succeed and astound you.

How soon do you use them in leadership positions?  Generally before you feel they are 100% ready.  There is always a need for leadership help in the church.  You will find that as soon as you begin raising up a person in the church for a position, God will begin raising up a position in the church for a person.  The reason many churches do not have certain ministries in their churches is not because the needs are not there for those ministries, it is because there are not people ready to lead those ministries.

How soon do you move someone out of a ministry?  As soon as you have another ministry to advance that person to and someone to take their place.  Never leave someone in a position for years if that person has the ability to excel into another office or ministry in the church.

Pat Yourself On The Back

Pat yourself on the back.

Have you been feeling underappreciated lately?  Does it seem that no one understands how hard you work or how much you are trying?  The feeling that no one appreciates you can be very discouraging to most people. 

We all know the power of congratulations.  Rewarding people with our praise is one of the easiest and most powerful ways to motivate others.  Simple words of encouragement can literally change a person’s life when given at the right moment.  Saying “Good Job” or “This Looks Great” can motivate a person to want to try harder next time in order to please you, as well as give them a much needed sense of accomplishment for the hard work they have invested.

What happens though, when no one gives “You” that needed praise?  Who encourages the encourager?  Who tells the guy at the top “Good Job”?  Oftentimes, nobody does this.  Even a self-motivated person has a point where they just need to hear someone say “I appreciate what you are doing.”  So what do you do when those affirmations are few and far between?

Encourage yourself!  David did it.  1 Samuel 30:6;

And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.

Maybe you’ve never had the congregation ready to stone you, (Or maybe you have…) but there have probably been many times where you wondered where even your closest followers' devotions were.  David understood that this was one day where encouragement from the men was not going to come.  They were tired, discouraged, and let down.  He knew that there was nothing he could do or say that would cause them to appreciate all he was trying to do for them.  The only thing left for David to do was to “Encourage Himself”.  The scriptures say he “…encouraged himself in the Lord his God.”  Wouldn’t it be something if we could know exactly what he said or did to do this.  What were his words?  “Don’t worry David (to himself), God’s got your back.  You’re doing a fantastic thing for the Kingdom of God.  Don’t be discouraged, the Lord knows where you’re at right now.”  These are things we might say to another person to encourage them, so why not say them to ourselves? 

I confess, I talk to myself on occasion.  Not like a lot of people do, but rather to encourage myself.  A few years ago, I began to become very discouraged when it seemed that no one else seemed to appreciate the very hard work and tremendous accomplishment that I was experiencing.  So, I began to do something that might sound a bit strange to many people.  I began “patting myself on the back”.  Seriously, I literally patted myself on the back and said to myself, “Good job Jim.  No one else may notice what you just did, but I did and I think you did a fantastic job.”  I know that sounds odd, but I have to be honest with you, it felt good.  I said it to myself and at the same time realized that the guy saying it knew what he was talking about.  He was someone who recognized when someone did something great and he was now complementing me.  Only, me was also me, so for some that might not sound so great.

However, it was the only praise that was going to come to me that day, so if it had to come from me, I was going to accept it.

A Leader's Courage - An Honest Look

Fear can and will keep many good leaders from becoming great leaders. Many mountain climbers have stood at the base camp of Mt. Everest, yet only a small percentage of them have had the courage it takes to actually climb to the top of that mountain.

Fear of the unknown. Fear of what people will say if we fail. Fear of the criticism along the way. Fear of being the only one saying “It can be done.” Fear of our vision being rejected by others.

Fear can kill our God given directive. It can suffocate our dream.

A position or office does not cause a person to become a leader. Though a person be chosen to Pastor a church, they are not truly a leader until they face their fears and actually lead that congregation into the places that God would want it to go. Being chosen to lead is easy. Actually leading is hard.

What defines a true visionary? Is it someone who has a lot of great ideas? Someone who sees the need for change, but never causes that change to take place? About 1 year ago I asked my wife to be very critical of me. I asked her to honestly tell me if I was someone who saw the things that needed to change and caused them to change or if I was someone who pointed out all the areas of needed change and did nothing. Her response though honest, was not what I wanted to hear.

I have determined, that if I am unable or unwilling to cause change in a given area, I will keep my mouth shut. Although I may see a need to change, I will say nothing, unless it is to spark a vision in another person who is capable of creating the needed change.

When I see another person or ministry who is successful, I go to them and find out how/why they are having success. I try to learn from them. Yet, I usually find that the reason they are having success is something I felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me about in the past. I get beat up pretty bad as I realize that God told me to do this same thing several years ago, only I lacked the courage to launch into it. You must admit with me that some of the more successful people around you are doing things that you yourself have considered, only they did it and you didn’t.

Get Some People Principles!

You cannot consistently perform in a manner that is inconsistent with the way you see yourself. Think about it. It's a fact of life that people spend the most time doing what they believe will benefit them most.

When you realize that people treat you according to how they see themselves rather than how you really are, you are less likely to take personally their behavior toward you.

If you're willing to stand apart from the crowd, you're putting yourself in a vulnerable position. Count on some degree of criticism.

People withhold their best efforts when they see little or no relationships between what they do and how they are rewarded.

The key to relating to others is putting yourself in someone else's place instead of putting them in their place.

Confidence is contagious.

How Do You Demonstrate Leadership?

Fundamental principles underlie the thinking and conduct of all true leaders, and these principles are even sharply defined for leaders within the kingdom of God. From time to time those whom the Lord has chosen for leadership need to examine themselves in the mirror of thought- provoking maxims. These proverbs are designed to help Christian leaders move forward in administrative excellence.

Responsible leaders do not make irresponsible statements.

A godly leader speaks out of the presence of God.

A humble leader never makes light of eternal truths, but esteems them with reverence.

A wise leader resolves conflicts peacefully, not forcefully.

An enduring leader withstands insult without anger.

A wholesome leader is characterized by tolerance, which saves him from hasty decisions in crisis, and retaliations in the face of contrariness.

The good leader attempts to make friends, not enemies.

Dealing harshly with opponents causes more aggravation and hostility. A polite leader uses gentleness and kindness.

Topical Preaching

There are  many pros and cons to topical preaching. Many Bible scholars feel that expository preaching is the only way to preach. They point out that you must preach verse by verse through the text in order to keep the story in its context. This is correct and very true, but a good topical sermon can also be kept in context if prepared properly.

When you look at the New Testament examples, both Peter and Paul preached on topics and used scripture to support their points. They did this very well in the epistles. The most famous sermon in the entire Bible is a topical sermon. The Sermon on the Mount is considered by most Bible scholars to be the greatest sermon that Jesus ever preached. The beatitudes are in this sermon, the Lord's prayer is in this sermon, and The Golden Rule is in this sermon. Jesus spoke on topics and used Old Testament scripture to supports His teachings. He did not preach verse by verse through entire chapters or books. Even the Old Testament prophets were very topical in their messages. If we are using the Bible as our example on how to live, we should also use it as our example in how we preach.