The Role of a Mentor

As common as the word mentor is in society, and in the business culture in general, when it comes to many religious organizations and the individuals that comprise them, mentoris often still a mysterious term. Confusion and misperceptions abound, and yet mentoring has been around since the dawn of man.

Just the mention of the word mentor causes an insecure leader or pastor to manifest jealousy, others to cry out that "I already have mentors in my life", and a few to simply confess they still do not know why they would even need a mentor.

Nonetheless the reality remains the same . . . the leadership actions of most leaders validate their need of a mentor. Every new endeavor of life often brings to the leader a need for mentoring. In essence, business training seminars and workshops is a multi-billion dollar industry because it is mentoring in real life to those desiring to improve and advance in their skills and knowledge.

Please read on.

A mentor is not some mysterious know-it-all guru that floats in and out of your life dressed in a white robe and riding on a cloud. Neither is a mentor a genie in a bottle that appears with the answer when you have a need and rub him correctly. Nor is a mentor a replacement for the pastor and influential individuals in your life.

A mentor is someone with the willingness, temperament, skill sets, gifts, talents, compassion, understanding, whit, intelligence, experience, and general life balance that shoulders up beside you to enable you to succeed at a higher level in life. A mentor is someone who cares about you enough to invest him or herself into you.

Whether paid or unpaid a mentor places more value in your life, aspirations, and goals than you ever return to them. Their primary reward is in helping, steering, advising, and equipping you toward the success they believe you have the potential for.

Every great leader attributes their success largely and in part to the influencers that played a key role in their pathway to success. Those influencers are mentors.

Money Matters - A Families Involvement In The Budget

Developing and maintaining a budget is a FAMILY AFFAIR.  If you are married, you must work together.  If you have children, this is the proper time to teach them how to operate within their means.

To make a budget work, there are some things that must be attended to prior to spending.

Together you should: 

• Decide on needed items and plan how much can be spent before going shopping.
• Always use a shopping list that has been approved by both spouses.
• Buy only the planned items.
• Compare prices and quality before buying.
• Use credit only when necessary for necessary items.
• Do not use credit for items that are not realistically needed.
• Decide together on a vacation spending
• Encourage each other of the benefits of saving
• Make realistic goals of being debt free
• Start gift shopping early and stay within a prescribed means
• Don’t over spend just to make someone in the family feel good.
• Decide how much to save on a regular basis.

Set down together and discuss the family budget and include in the discussion the benefits of becoming debt free for the future. 

Money Matters - Why A Budget?

A budget is the tool provided in accounting terms that gives us the proper indication of how we stand in our finances.  Too often people refuse to prepare a budget because it seems cumbersome and boring.  A budget can be implemented in most homes but give only 1-2 hours per month.  That is not much time to have a clear indication as to where you stand financially.  Not only will a budget give you a picture of where you stand, it will help you organize your bill paying so you don’t get behind and have to pay late fees, and it will show you the debt you have so you can pay it off systematically. 

A budget is a guide that tells you whether you are going in the right direction so that you can expect to meet your financial goals.  You may have goals and dreams but if you do not set us guidelines for reaching them and you do not measure your progress periodically, you may end up going so far in the wrong direction you can never get out of financial difficulty.

• A budget lets you control your money instead of your money controlling you.
• A budget lets you control your spending habits.
• A budget allows you to save in a systematic manner.
• A budget allows you to meet your goals.
• A budget will tell you if you are living within your means.

The Dark Side of Spiritual Abuse -- Part 2

To give a little history as to how some of the heavy-handed authoritative traits came into play among pastors you have to trace back to the charismatic movement. Out of the charismatic movement there was the evolving of a concept called “shepherding.” 

The Latter Rain movement actually had its earliest beginnings in the late 1800’s and was born out of the Methodist and Holiness camp-meeting environment. It would continue to generate momentum and experience growth during the post-World War II years and be much encouraged by the Charismatic movement in the 1960’s and 1970’s. Marked by extreme excess and abuse of the gifts of the Spirit, this activity led to the production of “prophets” who had little use for personal holiness and consecration. After a while it appeared that they only had a desire for their own personal kingdoms to grow.

As time went by these intruders became susceptible to moral and ethical failures. The subsequent fallout from their failures caused many who followed them to be led astray by their repulsive actions. In an effort to recover from these shenanigans a group of leaders came together and formed what was called “The Shepherding Movement.” Bob Mumford, Derek Prince, Charles Simpson, and Don Basham were the primary founders of this loosely formed organization who determined that its sole purpose would be to form a system of personal accountability. Later a fifth leader, Ern Baxter would be added to make up what was referred to as the “Fort Lauderdale Five.”

They decided that their work would be modeled after the pattern of Paul mentoring his sons in the faith, Timothy and Titus. They would work toward building a system of accountability that would form deeper relationships among pastors, ministry development at all levels, and ethical standards with emphasis on moral and financial dealings.

The whole system worked with the idea that anyone who came into the church needed a“shepherd.” After witnessing the moral collapse of several prominent men, this seemed to be a good and necessary thing. Who could object to the need for spiritual leadership and accountability? It became very heavy on authority and control in a manner that even simple decisions of daily living had to be monitored and approved by the pastor/leader of local congregations.

As an example, the leader would have to make the final decisions on car purchases, home mortgages, and job opportunities. In some cases, the “shepherd” would designate who young men and young women would marry to the degree that the marriages were arranged and carried through. The “shepherd” would have almost complete control over the personal finances. The parishioners would bring their paychecks to him and he would cash them and take his cut which was oftentimes more than 10% and give them the remainder. So as you can see the role of the pastor changed into an extreme form of authoritative control.

Some of the characteristics of the Shepherding system are as follow:

• Discipleship only takes place when one is committed to the group, cell ministry, and its leader.

• The only hope of salvation is extreme devotion to the shepherd of the group. This indicates the leader has more power to save than does Jesus Christ.

• Jesus Christ does not work directly in the life of the follower but rather He works through a system of delegated authority that flows down from the shepherd. You are to submit to this man as you would submit to God.

• Our relationship with God is not primary but rather it works in tandem with the power of a shepherd who has total control over the present, material world we live in.

• Our obedience

Leadership's Limitations

In this unpredictable and changing world, the one thing we can always control is the way we think. While we have little control over circumstances or the actions of others, we can control our reactions to them. And anyone can learn how to think more positively and operate with a better attitude, regardless of circumstances, temperament, or intellect. To begin thinking more positively and leading your people to do the same, follow these guidelines:

Act like the person you wish to become.
To start thinking positively, begin by acting positively. Most of us wait until we feel like taking action, but that’s going about it backwards. Instead, by putting our desires into action, we can establish a habit of thinking positively – and this results in a positive attitude.

Cultivate a Consistent Positive Attitude.
To reap a successful harvest, a farmer doesn’t plant seeds and then just expect them to grow on their own. He must continually water, weed, fertilize and nurture the growing plants if he wants them to reach maturity. Likewise, if we want a successful life, we need to spend time everyday nurturing our attitude. Focus on the positive and successful. Don’t feed the weeds.

Money Matters - Basic Causes Of Financial Difficulties

Most people have problems with finances, but they just don’t know why.

According to the latest surveys, over one-half of all families in America are presently experiencing financial difficulties.  And the real truth is many do not seem to know why they are having these difficulties.  If these type problems are so common, then it would be important to understand the reasons they exist.

The following is a listing of some reasons of financial difficulties.  This listing can be a means of educating oneself in these most critical areas.

1. Failure to follow scriptural principles.  The Bible is full of guidelines regarding financial principles.  In fact, one half of all parables and one out of six verses in the New Testament deal with stewardship.  Get the Bible and start an in-depth study of the guidelines and principles in the Word of God.
2. Failure to identify priorities.  A person and family must identify their priorities if they are ever going to be successful in their financial life.
3. Failure to discipline.  This horrible word causes people more problems than anything else in the world.  Discipline must be exercised in every phase of a person’s life and in the world of finances it is critical.
4. Failure to establish goals.  A person who has no goal is a person without direction.  A person without direction is going nowhere.  A person must establish the financial goal for themselves if they ever want to arrive at a successful financial position in life.
5. Failure to control spending.  A written control is necessary to control impulsive spending.  Limits must be established and kept.
6. Failure to establish a budget.  A budget is not a nervous breakdown on paper.  It is a clear guideline of where your money comes from and where it goes.  Do not negate the importance of a written budget…it is vital to anyone’s financial success.

The Seven Habits of the Highly Ineffective Pastor

What would an ineffective pastor look like? Here are seven habits of highly ineffective pastors and how you can avoid them.

• Be reactive. Effective people are proactive. They take responsibility for their lives and aren't swayed by their physical or social environments. Being proactive means responding by choices and values, not by emotions or circumstances.
  
• Focus only on short-term results. A good habit says, "Begin with the end in mind." This attitude will help you keep a heavenly perspective throughout your day-to-day work.
  
• Do the least important thing first. An effective pastor will look at all the things in his or her life and prioritize them. The people or items at the top of that list will receive the pastor's first and best attention.
  
• Think win/lose. Truly effective pastors will look for win/win solutions. They find agreements that benefit and satisfy everyone involved. This principle is especially valuable with staff and volunteers.

Overwhelmed

I frequently converse with ministers and business leaders who are overwhelmed. They need help and I have solutions. I am good at what I do. However, all too often my attempts to help prove futile because leaders are notorious for not allowing themselves to see beyond assumed responsibilities and circumstances. They have problems focusing. For some it might be their Attention Deficit Disorder kicking in, and for others it is simply personal neglect. Just as a mechanic’s car often needs the most repair, and a plumber’s house needs a leaky faucet fixed, leaders seem to avoid personal changes of routine and lifestyle.

Sadly this is all too common. Many leaders assume roles and responsibilities they should not assume and therefore settle for a constant state of chaos and mediocrity. Numerous potential problems arise when a leader reaches a saturation point but refuses assistance and is unwilling to change habits.

I want to highlight a five of the potential problems and emphasize a few solutions for each.

The first potential problem: Addiction to adrenaline. Workaholics get used to the adrenaline they feel when meeting certain goals or deadlines. Many leaders develop a sense of pride at being busy; often boasting whenever their schedule hits overload because it feeds their false ego of self-importance. They have a hard time saying “no” to new responsibilities.

The intensity one feels when overwhelmed develops stress. This affects the quality of their relationships. Stressed leaders can become very controlling, territorial, moody, and sharp with their reactions to others. Stress also has negative affects on health in the long term.

Depression often sets in when someone who is addicted to adrenaline attempts to slow down or relax. Time with God, loved ones, and for personal development tends to be neglected or placed on the backburner. Those things simply aren’t the leader’s priority, and that is a big part of the problem.

Suggested solutions include:

• Establish a maximum number of hours to focus on work each day.
• Refuse to take work home with you.
• If an extra request for you to do something means you cannot accomplish it without adding to your maximum allotted workday hours then say “no” to the request.
• Schedule time off on a regular basis.

The second potential problem: Burnout. The body, mind and emotions are designed for a balance of work and rest. Time must be made for both. Burnout sneaks up on you, and when it comes it can be very difficult to conquer.

Burnout produces a cacophony of emotions. One might develop a sense of guilt, anger or regret. These are hard to overcome when one is in a state of burnout.

Twenty Building Blocks Of Vision

1.     A vision begins as a concern.

As a pastor, you probably have a vision of great revival for your city. But it began as a concern for souls, then it grew into a burden for souls. It grew till it consumed your thoughts. This is the birthplace of vision. God has placed that vision there.

2.     A vision does not necessarily require immediate action.

When God speaks to you, he may not be giving you a vision for the immediate.  God’s timing is not our timing. When David was anointed king, he did not take the throne for many years.  He went through many hardships before he finally became king.

3.     Pray for opportunities and plan as if you expect God to answer your prayers.

The Bible says that the steps of the righteous are ordered by the Lord. Begin to pray for the right people and opportunities to be brought into your life...God will order your steps.

4.     God is using your circumstances to position and prepare you to accomplish His vision for your life.

Don't let your situation blind your vision. God will use a situation that seems totally opposite of your vision to enable you to accomplish it.

Think of Joseph, he literally had a dream of his brothers bowing down to him, the sun, the moon, and the stars made obeisance to him...he was going to be a ruler of people. Of course that didn't happen for a long time, God used circumstance after circumstance to prepare him for that vision. Joseph could have easily become blinded by each of those, but instead God used each situation to advance him closer to His dream.

5.     What God originates, he orchestrates.

If God started it, He will finish it. Many are the times when we can't see the way through, but nothing shall be impossible with God. The Red Sea crossing is a beautiful example of God orchestrating Moses' vision of deliverance for his people.

6.     Walk before you talk; investigate before you initiate.

Remember a vision does not require immediate action, a lot of planning and preparation needs to be done in advance.

7.     Communicate your vision as a solution to a problem that must be addressed immediately.

Jesus told his disciples, 'the harvest is great but the laborers are few.' Later in the book of John, Jesus said, "The fields are already white to harvest." Jesus was communicating His vision to His disciples in a way they could understand. Fields turn white after they turn golden, today we harvest golden fields of grain. In essence, Jesus was saying, It is almost too late for this harvest, I need laborers right now!

8.     Cast your vision to the appropriate people at the appropriate time.

In Acts, chapter one, Jesus has some very important words for some very important people.  He waited until this very critical time to cast His vision to them. The Holy Ghost would come after He ascended to heaven, and the Holy Ghost would give them power to be witnesses to all people.

It is very interesting to note that the number of people there was 120. This was the exact number which the Jewish people required to form a council in any city. There were others who had been followers of Jesus, but for one reason or another had departed from this group.

Jesus used these last words to cast His vision for mankind to the appropriate people at the perfect time. The result was life changing revival for millions of people around the world even to this day!

9.     Don't expect others to take greater risks or make greater sacrifices than you have.