Pat Yourself On The Back

Pat yourself on the back.

Have you been feeling underappreciated lately?  Does it seem that no one understands how hard you work or how much you are trying?  The feeling that no one appreciates you can be very discouraging to most people. 

We all know the power of congratulations.  Rewarding people with our praise is one of the easiest and most powerful ways to motivate others.  Simple words of encouragement can literally change a person’s life when given at the right moment.  Saying “Good Job” or “This Looks Great” can motivate a person to want to try harder next time in order to please you, as well as give them a much needed sense of accomplishment for the hard work they have invested.

What happens though, when no one gives “You” that needed praise?  Who encourages the encourager?  Who tells the guy at the top “Good Job”?  Oftentimes, nobody does this.  Even a self-motivated person has a point where they just need to hear someone say “I appreciate what you are doing.”  So what do you do when those affirmations are few and far between?

Encourage yourself!  David did it.  1 Samuel 30:6;

And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.

Maybe you’ve never had the congregation ready to stone you, (Or maybe you have…) but there have probably been many times where you wondered where even your closest followers' devotions were.  David understood that this was one day where encouragement from the men was not going to come.  They were tired, discouraged, and let down.  He knew that there was nothing he could do or say that would cause them to appreciate all he was trying to do for them.  The only thing left for David to do was to “Encourage Himself”.  The scriptures say he “…encouraged himself in the Lord his God.”  Wouldn’t it be something if we could know exactly what he said or did to do this.  What were his words?  “Don’t worry David (to himself), God’s got your back.  You’re doing a fantastic thing for the Kingdom of God.  Don’t be discouraged, the Lord knows where you’re at right now.”  These are things we might say to another person to encourage them, so why not say them to ourselves? 

I confess, I talk to myself on occasion.  Not like a lot of people do, but rather to encourage myself.  A few years ago, I began to become very discouraged when it seemed that no one else seemed to appreciate the very hard work and tremendous accomplishment that I was experiencing.  So, I began to do something that might sound a bit strange to many people.  I began “patting myself on the back”.  Seriously, I literally patted myself on the back and said to myself, “Good job Jim.  No one else may notice what you just did, but I did and I think you did a fantastic job.”  I know that sounds odd, but I have to be honest with you, it felt good.  I said it to myself and at the same time realized that the guy saying it knew what he was talking about.  He was someone who recognized when someone did something great and he was now complementing me.  Only, me was also me, so for some that might not sound so great.

However, it was the only praise that was going to come to me that day, so if it had to come from me, I was going to accept it.

Money Matters - The Budget's Attitude

One of the top reasons that so many people, including Christians, fail at budgeting is simply attitude.  It a person thinks of it as a penny-pinching sacrifice instead of a means for achieving one’s financial goals, then it is unlikely they will stay with it.  To increase the chances of a successful budget, it is important to work on the attitude. 

If ”budget” sounds too harsh…consider it as a “financial plan” for the home.  The plan can help you get ahead; control spending, and save for future spending.  Budgeting really does matter in the process to help one reach their goals and without some formal plan of working with the finances, goals and dreams can never be reached.

Money is a tool…and a tool that everyone needs in today’s society.  This tool can enable a person to reach their goals in life, however, until a person knows where their money goes and how it is spent, a conscious decision about how to use this tool effectively is impossible.

So it is important to get the right attitude and not give up.  Quitting too soon or tiring of the process is simply a means of failure in reaching the potential goals and dreams one has.

The following scriptures give spiritual guidance for the finances of the home.  Take the time to read these and study God’s plan for financial survival.

• Prosperity:  Genesis 39:3; Psalms 1:3; Joshua 1:6-8; Luke 6:38; John 10:10

• Provision:  Genesis 41; Exodus 15; I Kings 17; John 21:2-6; Matthew 4:11

• Giving:  Deuteronomy 14:23; Malachi 3:10; Matthew 23:23; Hebrews 7:1,2

• Budgeting:  Proverbs 22:3; 24:3,4; 27:12; Luke 12:16-21; Luke 14:28-30

Some ABC’s of Modern Ministry

What are people, especially younger generations, looking for?

Authenticity, Not Hype – In all things, the church should strive to be genuine – to be real.

Balance, Not Burnout – For a world running on empty, where teenagers use Day-Timers, the church should be a place of balance.

Connections & Community – A place to belong.

Disciples, Not Decisions – Recognize the different stages of faith development. (Making a one-time decision for Christ is not enough. Christianity is a lifetime walk not a one-time decision. Once the decision has been made, training for growth must begin. How many “saved” are still in the church growing six months or more down the road?)

The Healthy Pastoral Leader

In his research of leaders, both historical and contemporary, author Robert Clinton found that few leaders actually finish the race well. His two books, The Making of a Leader (NavPress) and The Mentor Handbook (Barnabas), explain that finishing well could be defined as a life that until its end is increasingly more in love with Christ, more committed to His service and more devoted to godly leadership.

What causes a leader to continue to grow, to stay on track and to finish well in life and ministry?

Five Habits of effectiveness. Effective leaders learn to become intentional about their character growth and formation. In this development of a leader we can make three general observations:

1. God develops a leader over a lifetime;
   
2. God uses people, circumstances and ministry assignments to shape the life of a leader; and
   
3. Leadership plateau is often indicative of a growth issue within a leader's life.
   

To help us become more intentional about our health as leaders, let's explore five insights from leaders who have finished well.

1. Healthy leaders are lifelong learners. Leaders pursue three types of training: personal training, (personal growth, projects, personal research); informal training (workshops, seminars, conferences); and formal training (continuing education, degree programs).
   
2. Healthy leaders are committed to serve and develop others. Be alert to potential leaders in your sphere of influence (II Cor. 1:3-4; II Tim. 2:2).
   

Overwhelmed

I frequently converse with ministers and business leaders who are overwhelmed. They need help and I have solutions. I am good at what I do. However, all too often my attempts to help prove futile because leaders are notorious for not allowing themselves to see beyond assumed responsibilities and circumstances. They have problems focusing. For some it might be their Attention Deficit Disorder kicking in, and for others it is simply personal neglect. Just as a mechanic’s car often needs the most repair, and a plumber’s house needs a leaky faucet fixed, leaders seem to avoid personal changes of routine and lifestyle.

Sadly this is all too common. Many leaders assume roles and responsibilities they should not assume and therefore settle for a constant state of chaos and mediocrity. Numerous potential problems arise when a leader reaches a saturation point but refuses assistance and is unwilling to change habits.

I want to highlight a five of the potential problems and emphasize a few solutions for each.

The first potential problem: Addiction to adrenaline. Workaholics get used to the adrenaline they feel when meeting certain goals or deadlines. Many leaders develop a sense of pride at being busy; often boasting whenever their schedule hits overload because it feeds their false ego of self-importance. They have a hard time saying “no” to new responsibilities.

The intensity one feels when overwhelmed develops stress. This affects the quality of their relationships. Stressed leaders can become very controlling, territorial, moody, and sharp with their reactions to others. Stress also has negative affects on health in the long term.

Depression often sets in when someone who is addicted to adrenaline attempts to slow down or relax. Time with God, loved ones, and for personal development tends to be neglected or placed on the backburner. Those things simply aren’t the leader’s priority, and that is a big part of the problem.

Suggested solutions include:

• Establish a maximum number of hours to focus on work each day.
• Refuse to take work home with you.
• If an extra request for you to do something means you cannot accomplish it without adding to your maximum allotted workday hours then say “no” to the request.
• Schedule time off on a regular basis.

The second potential problem: Burnout. The body, mind and emotions are designed for a balance of work and rest. Time must be made for both. Burnout sneaks up on you, and when it comes it can be very difficult to conquer.

Burnout produces a cacophony of emotions. One might develop a sense of guilt, anger or regret. These are hard to overcome when one is in a state of burnout.

10 Qualities Of A Potential Leader

1. Positiveness: The ability to work with and see people and situations in a positive way.
2. Servanthood: The willingness to submit, play team ball and follow the leader.
3. Growth Potential: A hunger for personal growth and development; the ability to keep growing as the job expands.
4. Follow-Through: The determination to get the job done completely and with consistency.
5. Loyalty: The willingness to always put the leader and the organization above personal desires.

When Brethren Disagree

How do you handle disagreements among brethren? The following article appeared in Brother T.F. Tenney’s book, “Advice to Pastors and Other Saints.” It gives excellent advice concerning how to get along.

Keep the disagreement in perspective. Don’t reject the person because he or she has a different opinion. A variety of opinions are the spices of life.

Do not transfer the disagreement to other areas. Do not generalize. A two- color piece of literature is more attractive to the world, not when we are monotonously uniform, but when we function as the body of Christ, where one is the eye, another the hand and another the foot. The world will be impressed by our agreement to cooperate and compliment each other, not by all of us being the same, acting the same, or even speaking the same.

Do not question the motives of the person with whom you disagree. If you assume the right of questioning another’s motive, remember you must permit him or her the same privilege.

Do not assume that personal differences are sinful. They are usually due to different cultural, intellectual, and doctrinal positions. Remember this, a person does not necessarily have to be in fellowship with you to be in fellowship with Christ. Some people do not think it’s smoke unless it comes out of their stack.

Making Dry Church Services Come To Life

Why is it that in some churches, meeting with the creator of the universe is often a boring showcase for bad music, inept preaching and poor taste? Listed are 9 perspectives that can enhance the effectiveness of your services.

• Put yourself in the congregation’s shoes. Pastor, how long has it been since you just sat in the congregation? How often do you really try to identify with the needs, hopes and dreams of those in your congregation?
• Tell stories. Storytelling was Jesus’ primary method of teaching. He put the most profound concepts into simple and compelling stores that captivated people and changed their lives. Never telling a story is a prescription for putting people to sleep. 
• Question everything. Why do you take up the offering the same way each week? Why do you always sing the same hymn of invitation?
• Find some fresh jokes-or don’t use any. How many of you would rather be here in church than in the finest hospital in town? Please discard your moth-eaten jokes. Otherwise your congregation will start laughing out of pity, not humor.
• Go beyond your trusty old sermons of the past. Yes it’s nice to have some standby messages you can rely on. But the danger is that the more you preach the same sermon, the more difficult it is to present it with conviction, originality and excitement.

The Work Of The Connector

In his book, The Turning Point, Malcolm Gladwell describes the work of the connector.  The connectors he explains are important to social epidemics.  The reason why a new restaurant would become the new hotspot in the community might well depend a great deal on the work of the connector.  You see, a connector is the person in the market place who tells all their friends about the great deal they just got at Wall Mart.  Or the fantastic food they ate at a new restaurant.  Every church has connectors in them.

I have identified my wife as being a connector.  Should Natalie find a bargain at say Wall Mart, she will immediately call her mother and sister on the phone and them about the great deal and why they should head over to Wall Mart as soon as they get off work.   My wife is a connector.  She loves telling people about everything from the newest restaurant, to the store who has a sale on paper napkins.

My life was changed by a connector.  I was 17 years old when I came into contact with this person.  95% of the relationships I have today are a direct result of this one connector in my life.  Mike was his name.  Had this person never told me about and invited me to his church, I never would have met most of the people who I now know as my close friends and colleagues.  He was not a preacher.  He was a connector.

Something excited him about his church and he could not help himself to share it with someone else.  Mike is not an orator.  He is not a teacher of God’s word.  But he connected me to the people who would eventually change my life. 

We all have had the work of a connector in our lives.  They introduced us to the church.  They introduced us to our spouse.  They told us the kind of car we should buy.  They work behind the scenes to promote projects, products and agendas and they do it every day without pay or recognition.  You might say it’s their personality.  I would say it’s more of an obsession with some people.

My wife can’t help herself.  She has to share her good fortune.  I have told her in the past to keep some bargains to herself.  Like the beautiful new dress she just got off a clearance rack for a few bucks.  I tell her let people think you paid a little something for it, but no, she has to tell the world where they can get the same deal.  She loves to be the connector.