Pastoral Transitions (When Asked to Leave)

Making a change in pastoral ministry is challenging for any pastor and his family, even when they have chosen the time to make that transition. However, a staff pastor and family who are released from their present ministry and must make a transition to a new place of ministry face a different situation. Thus the question, “How should a minister respond, act, and live if he is asked to leave his pastoral ministry?”

Ministers have been released from staff ministry positions for various reasons: decreased church income, downsizing of pastoral staff, the phasing out of a particular ministry position or consolidating church ministries. Regardless of the reason(s) for ministry release, this type of transition can be traumatic to the pastor and his family. Because of the emotional, financial, spiritual, and family issues, this topic must be addressed to help ministers and their families who have been asked to transition from their church ministry. Having been through this type of transition myself as a staff pastor in the past due to pastoral change and staff downsizing, I share some insights that will help edify and support the minister and his family who are in transition.

The ministry family leaving a church may experience emotional stress, financial strain, grief, and a sense of frustration. The exiting staff pastor may question the effectiveness, value, usefulness, credibility, future, and potential of his ministry. Income may be an issue, especially if the staff pastor was the major wage earner in the family. There will also be the question of health insurance. Because health costs can be expensive, health insurance is a necessity. If a transitioning staff member lives in a church parsonage he may wonder, How long can we live here? These are just a few of the concerns that a transitioning staff pastor will be forced to address. What follows are a few suggestions that will help the transitioning pastor and family.

1. Affirm your personhood as a Christian.

God loves you. You, your ministry, and family are valuable to Him. He knew this change would take place before you were asked to make your transition. He has confidence that, with His help, you will make it and your future will still be bright. He knows this is a traumatic change that affects your life, finances, ministry, self-perceptions, spouse, and children.

2. Continue growing in your personal faith walk with God.

You will need to grow spiritually through this situation. Don’t become stuck on, Why is this happening to me? Instead ask,How can I grow through this situation and see glory brought to God?

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Put It In Writing

Put It In Writing

The written word is persuasive. A spoken word is quickly forgotten, but put the same words in writing and the phrase is instantly given new credence and respect. For that reason, putting it in writing is a wise practice. When everything is written out, you're able to see clearly what needs to be accomplished, how it will be done, and what your responsibility is. By putting it in writing, you're making a commitment.

Putting it in writing will also motivate you and keep you on track. By writing down your goals you make a commitment to them. Written goals urge us to action and determine direction.

Decide for yourself what your goals are and when and how you wish to reach them. Then after you have written them down, keep them in a place that is in plain view throughout each day. As you accomplish each one, cross it off! As you do, allow yourself some personal gratification. There is therapy in seeing a long list of goals accomplished.

A things to do list will ease the mental stress of the day. Often our minds are more on thinking of what needs to be done rather than on what do do to get something done. It is easier to set a pace for the day when you have a written list. Plan your day by allowing yourself an allotted amount of time for each item. Write that time next to each item. Don't let other people or situations keep you from accomplishing each task.

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Live Personal Mentoring

If you are like most Christian church and business leaders you have already discovered that "quick-fix" leadership solutions simply do not work.

At best they are Band-Aids that only temporarily mask the real problems. Perhaps you also have experienced the frustration experienced after spending precious dollars to attend conference after conference and realizing that the motivation received wore off shortly after returning to the real world at home. Or maybe you are one of the countless leaders who visit the bookstore for the latest catchy title, only to buy another book that never gets finished and simply winds up looking good on the bookshelf behind your desk. Impressive but ineffective.There is a solution to the leadership dilemma. For many pastors the real solution is less costly than hosting an evangelist, or for a business leader to hire a consultant. The real solution is one-on-one live mentoring with a gifted and seasoned professional who is focused on you and your needs.

Dr. Fred Childs is highly solicited by Christian church and business leaders for personal mentoring. He offers invaluable understanding, insights, and solutions to leaders on a wide range of topics.ChurchMentor.net has an inexpensive monthly membership fee that introduces its members to an abundance of relevant leadership materials in written, audio, and video formats. However, now the services being offered are expanding to include live mentoring as well.

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Principles To Guide Your Life

What are some of the principles that greatly impact our lives and help us become mature, growing, productive people? Listed are principles to guide your life:

1. Your attitude determines your altitude.
2. It’s not what happens to a person, but what happens in a person that makes the difference.
3. Every problem has a hidden possibility and a seed of victory in it.
4. Failure is not final. Learn from it and go on.
5. Limitations are guidelines, not stop signs.
6. Expect the best and express the best.
7. There is not much difference between success and failure. The successful usually gave just a little bit more.
8. Each person can increase a little. You can improve your attitude, relationships, priorities, determination and credibility a little each day.
9. Helping others succeed helps you to succeed.
10. Be yourself – that’s who God made.
11. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.
12. Live what you teach.
13. Pay now and play later.

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How To Teach A Bible Study

All too often, our church members don't feel comfortable asking someone if they would like to have a Bible study. One of the main reasons for this, is because they are afraid they won't have all of the answers to all of the questions that the person may ask about the Bible.  Many people today want to teach Bible studies to their friends and families, but oftentimes, don't know how to teach a Bible study,what teaching materials to use or lack the experience to feel confident enough to teach one. 

One idea to overcome this, is to use the mid-week service to teach your church how to teach a Bible study.  In most cases, the people that show up for the mid-week service are the core of the church.   They are usually the more "spiritually mature" of your saints.  Also, when teaching on how to teach a Bible study, let them know which Bible studies you recommend for them to teach.  This will give them confidence to teach a Bible study and when they find one that they feel comfortable sharing with someone, they will be more apt and better prepared to teach.

            You can use this outline to teach them how to teach a Bible study:

            Psalm 119:89  "Forever O Lord, thy word is settled in heaven."

            Psalm 119:161:162  "..but my heart standeth in awe of thy word….as one that findeth great spoil (treasure)"

            Psalm 119:11  "Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee."

·        Establish at the beginning of the study the importance of the "whole" Bible. 

         1)     1 Tim. 3:16 "All scripture is given by inspiration of God…

         2)     The Word of God is true!  From cover to cover!

A few things to remember when preparing for your study:

·        Always bring two Bibles; one for you and one for your student.  (Remember, this is a Bible study!)

·        Be on time!

·        Breath mints are good!

·        Choose a Bible Study that teaches on one of these topics:

         1)     Doctrine                   

         2)     Oneness                   

         3)     Church History       

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The Dark Side of Spiritual Abuse -- Part 1

Back in the summer, Brother Ensey sent out an e-mail soliciting papers to be written on various subjects and after musing through the choices, I started thinking more along the lines of a pastoral theology kind of subject. Although I am not quite sure how I finally settled on this particular issue, I have been thoroughly enlightened on this subject.

 

In the past, I have written on church trouble from the angle of people in the congregation who found great enthusiasm for tormenting pastors until they finally ran them off. The religious landscape is littered with men who no longer pastor churches and gave up the calling of a ministry because of a situation where they found themselves in great contention with the hidden powers that ran the church. If you are interested you may read those old Barnabas Blog posts from a couple of years ago (Part 1 & Part 2). Since writing those posts, I have observed a few more of these unfortunate situations as they unfolded.

On the other hand, there are also churches that have had endure terrible abuses at the hands of heavy-handed, manipulative, and dark pastors who fall into the category of being a spiritual abuser.

I must say from the outset that this kind of activity to me is totally foreign because of the environment that I grew up in with my own pastor (and now father-in-law) Joe Patterson. Because of his spiritual leadership, I grew up with the idea that the church was the most incredible, warm, and safe place on the earth. It was only after I begin to travel around a bit and grew up some spiritually and mentally that I was exposed to the dark side of the church and ministry. To be quite frank with you, it was a bit unnerving and initially faith-jarring.

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If It's Frustrating You, It's Definitely Frustrating the Church

What are we talking about?  The loss of ministry momentum.  When the church starts and a pastor promotes a new ministry in the church, everyone gets excited.  That excitement is the fuel that this ministry is going to need to get started and for success to quickly begin to happen.  The labor and energy that goes into promoting new ministries within the church is great.  The planning aspect alone often takes many, many hours of several people working together to cause this new ministry to be possible.  However, once it starts, if constant encouragement and direction is not given, it could very possibly begin to lose its momentum within just a very short amount of time. 

Simply placing somebody over a ministry is not enough.  You have to work with that person, train them, encourage them, and let them know exactly what it is you hope to see accomplished in this new ministry.  This mentoring of the new leader is absolutely necessary if you want this new ministry to succeed.  However, oftentimes our own schedules don't allow us to properly train and equip the people that we placed over various ministries within the church.  When this happens, the new ministry begins to lose momentum.  Do your leaders consistently lose the encouragement that they need?  Do they have questions that are not being answered?  Do they lack the training and direction that they need, or are they too are simply losing interest?

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Building a Team: What to Look for in Potential Leaders

It is critically important who you surround yourself with. The men and women you choose to help you reach your goals will make or break you. Here's a few things to look for in potential leaders. 

1. Look for people who can make things happen.

Most of the time, you have to take people at their word. The fortunate aspect to this is when you do hire them, you know within a few days, sometimes hours, if they can make things happen or not. At that time you can make the necessary decision.

This application is not always possible in ministry, but the advice is still the same; Watch what people do more than listening to what they say. Actions always speak louder than words. People that make things happen seldom make excuses. Instead they create their own opportunities when none might have existed.

2. Look for people who can influence others.

A person's ability to make things happen is directly related to their ability to lead people. This is called influence. Whether a church ministry leader or a construction crew leader, a leader must be able to influence and persuade people.

When you are selecting a potential leader, don't just look at the person, but look at all of the people that person influences. The more people they influence, the greater leadership potential they have.

Here is a good question to ask; What kind of people do they influence? Do they influence other leaders? Or do they influence followers? A person who can influence leaders has much greater potential than a person who can only influence followers.

Influence also includes how they treat people. Do they respect people? Do they have a genuine love for people? Do they treat people right?

3. Look for people who can equip others.

It is one thing to persuade and influence others. It is another thing to equip them with the necessary tools and training to succeed. Most of the people in your church will need to be trained and equipped in order to succeed. If the leaders you choose cannot equip and empower their followers, then they will ultimately be standing alone at the end of the day.

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After A Really Really Really Bad Day

Ever had one? One of those days where you wish you would have stayed in bed? I had one last week. Well, actually I had two of them in a row. My boy Jeremy had just gotten the cast off his arm from the break he received when he fell out of the tree 2 months ago. So, Thursday evening, we decided to take our dirt bikes out and go riding. We had ridden about an hour when Jer flipped his bike on a jump and it landed on his foot, thus breaking it. So to the house we go to get a few things before we head to the emergency room. Before we leave the house though, we should let Molly out. Molly is our 5 pound Maltese. The baby of the family. She is almost ready to come into the house when the neighbors dog comes over and mauls her. She wasn't hurt badly, only bruised and frightened, but we don't have time to comfort her because Jeremy is needing to go get X- rays. This has turned out to be a very bad day.

I wake up Friday morning, thinking, O. K. the worst is behind us. It's a brand new day, right?! Wrong. All I did was turn my head and sneeze. That's all. But now my neck has gone into a spasm and the vertebrae are out and I can't move my neck in any direction more than an inch without causing excruciating pain. So I lay on the bed for an hour. Unable to move. (6 days, and 2 chiropractor appointments later, I'm still in pain.) Boy this is starting out to be a bad day. Unable to get an appointment with a chiropractor, I suffered though a very painful day at the computer, with set back after set back on site development. Finally after a long, frustrating, painful day, my wife and I (still suffering) go to bed hoping tomorrow will be better.

Two hours later the phone rings. It's Kristi, our 17 year old. She was driving back from church camp, a 2.5 hour drive from Indianapolis and fell asleep at the wheel. All she could tell us was that she was in a wreck. She didn't know where she was at and the car is totaled. We asked her if anyone had stopped to help her. "No". "Do you see any road signs?" Frantic and in shock, she replied in tears, "No, I don't know where I'm at." I cannot tell you how fearful my wife and I were. Not only were we not able to tell the police where she was, but we really did not know her condition since she was in shock and unable to tell us very much.

Guessing her time of departure and the approximate distance in the trip, I called the State Police and told them the situation and to look for her on Route 65 between Rensselaer and Lowe, about a 60 mile stretch. Amazingly the phone rings 10 minutes later and the fire department has found her 1 mile off the exit ramp from Rensselaer To our relief she is bruised, but ok. God really had his hand on her. She hit the guardrail at around 65 MPH, completely destroying the guardrail and totaled out the car.

But God is good isn't He! At the end of a second very bad day, I got to hold my baby girl in my arms and thank God for keeping her from certain death. Holding her, I realized that by all rights, we should be in a hospital room seeing the worst.

We can complain about the neck spasms, dog fights, broken bones, and bad days at the office, but when it's all over we really just need to stop and thank the Lord for breath. Thank Him for our children. Thank Him for a job, any job. We would complain about the old junk car that we are driving, but we need to notice the old lady walking home from the grocery store with bags in her arms and a long walk ahead of her. How blessed we really are.

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