Article for Ministers: Dealing With Self-Doubt

If You Chase Two Rabbits

“If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one.” I found this old Russian proverb in the early pages of a recent book written by Gary Keller. The title of this book, “The One Thing” jumped out at me above all the other titles on the shelf. This concept of One Thing is totally foreign to me. I have always thought myself quite adept at doing several things at one time. I have done it all my life. I learned this early in my working career. In fact, the manager of the McDonalds restaurant where I found my first job told me, “The one thing you will learn and take with you from this job is the ability to do many things at one time.” It was not long before I learned first hand what he was talking about. Since that day to this, I can rarely remember doing only one thing at a time.

There is in me a drive that feels like I am not being productive unless I am accomplishing several things at once. Rarely do I ever do “One Thing”. According to Keller’s book, doing more than One Thing is usually not the most productive or profitable way to conduct oneself. This book has some incredible insight as to how to stay on track and build momentum towards your goals, but for many of us preachers, doing more than one thing at a time is a way of life that we are unable to change.

Most Pastors and ministers of the Gospel have families and ministries as well as secular jobs or businesses. This creates a constant pulling in different directions that leaves us feeling tired, confused and even guilty that we are unable to accomplish all that we want to do in any of these areas. We endlessly wrestle with our time constraints as well as our energy levels for each of these.

It would be very nice to do only One Thing Mr. Keller, but for the average preacher out there, this prospect of staying focused, is probably going to be a challenge for us beyond the pages of your book.

[ read more...]

If You Chase Two Rabbits

“If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one.” I found this old Russian proverb in the early pages of a recent book written by Gary Keller. The title of this book, “The One Thing” jumped out at me above all the other titles on the shelf. This concept of One Thing is totally foreign to me. I have always thought myself quite adept at doing several things at one time. I have done it all my life. I learned this early in my working career. In fact, the manager of the McDonalds restaurant where I found my first job told me, “The one thing you will learn and take with you from this job is the ability to do many things at one time.” It was not long before I learned first hand what he was talking about. Since that day to this, I can rarely remember doing only one thing at a time.

There is in me a drive that feels like I am not being productive unless I am accomplishing several things at once. Rarely do I ever do “One Thing”. According to Keller’s book, doing more than One Thing is usually not the most productive or profitable way to conduct oneself. This book has some incredible insight as to how to stay on track and build momentum towards your goals, but for many of us preachers, doing more than one thing at a time is a way of life that we are unable to change.

Most Pastors and ministers of the Gospel have families and ministries as well as secular jobs or businesses. This creates a constant pulling in different directions that leaves us feeling tired, confused and even guilty that we are unable to accomplish all that we want to do in any of these areas. We endlessly wrestle with our time constraints as well as our energy levels for each of these.

It would be very nice to do only One Thing Mr. Keller, but for the average preacher out there, this prospect of staying focused, is probably going to be a challenge for us beyond the pages of your book.

[ read more...]

Home Friendship Groups - Helping close the back door.

“A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.” Prov 18:19

Bob stopped me a while back to thank me. A trustee and board member in his church, he explained that he and his wife were greatly offended by a situation and people in the church. He told how one Sunday without knowing their situation, I encouraged them. I told them that “they were very important to the work of God there” and a “wonderful example to me”. I didn’t know they had already decided this was their last service in that church. He told me that had it not been for my encouraging them that day, they never would have gone back.

I wonder how many Bob’s leave the church without anybody noticing.

It is often said, “If we could just win back those who have already left, that would be a great revival. My question is, “how did we ever let them get away in the first place”?

In my years of pastoring and ministry, I’ve found that people usually leave the church because they were never truly assimilated into the family of God to begin with. Once a person is established into the church and have formed nurturing relationships, it’s less likely they would become offended and leave.

We think that we have to “get them into the choir right away” or “find them a position or job in the church” to keep new converts. This may help that person feel more attached, but it will never assimilate them into the church.

Why do people exit the church? Many times, a person leaves because they were never provided the proper relationships within the church.

[ read more...]

Home Friendship Groups - Helping close the back door.

“A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.” Prov 18:19

Bob stopped me a while back to thank me. A trustee and board member in his church, he explained that he and his wife were greatly offended by a situation and people in the church. He told how one Sunday without knowing their situation, I encouraged them. I told them that “they were very important to the work of God there” and a “wonderful example to me”. I didn’t know they had already decided this was their last service in that church. He told me that had it not been for my encouraging them that day, they never would have gone back.

I wonder how many Bob’s leave the church without anybody noticing.

It is often said, “If we could just win back those who have already left, that would be a great revival. My question is, “how did we ever let them get away in the first place”?

In my years of pastoring and ministry, I’ve found that people usually leave the church because they were never truly assimilated into the family of God to begin with. Once a person is established into the church and have formed nurturing relationships, it’s less likely they would become offended and leave.

We think that we have to “get them into the choir right away” or “find them a position or job in the church” to keep new converts. This may help that person feel more attached, but it will never assimilate them into the church.

Why do people exit the church? Many times, a person leaves because they were never provided the proper relationships within the church.

[ read more...]

A Husband's Responsibilities - For Men Only

I. He is to love his wife as Christ loved the church.

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband" (Ephesians 5:25-33).

This is total self-giving love. He can only love his wife to the degree that he receives the love of God. Through this kind of love, he brings a sanctification and cleansing for his wife.

II. He is to be tenderhearted toward his wife.

"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you" (Ephesians 4:32).

"Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye" (Colossians 3:12- 13).

The one major complaint women give about their husbands is that they are not tenderhearted (sensitive to their feelings). "He just can't show his emotions."

III. He is to be the provider for the family.

"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel" (I Timothy 5:8).

"For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat" (I Thessalonians 3:10).

God works through the husband and father to provide for the wife and the children. This provision should also include protection from physical or emotional harm.

[ read more...]

A Husband's Responsibilities - For Men Only

I. He is to love his wife as Christ loved the church.

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband" (Ephesians 5:25-33).

This is total self-giving love. He can only love his wife to the degree that he receives the love of God. Through this kind of love, he brings a sanctification and cleansing for his wife.

II. He is to be tenderhearted toward his wife.

"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you" (Ephesians 4:32).

"Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye" (Colossians 3:12- 13).

The one major complaint women give about their husbands is that they are not tenderhearted (sensitive to their feelings). "He just can't show his emotions."

III. He is to be the provider for the family.

"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel" (I Timothy 5:8).

"For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat" (I Thessalonians 3:10).

God works through the husband and father to provide for the wife and the children. This provision should also include protection from physical or emotional harm.

[ read more...]

Ministering Amid Pandemonium

As technological progress continues, it axiomatically leads to increasing rates of stress, overload, complexity, and change, speed, debt, and meaninglessness. Yet how can we protect ourselves, or families and our churches from the exhaustion and burnout of our age? The following suggestions may provide some relief, both for you and for those you minister to.

Put more control in your life.
Learn to laugh.
Generate good will. The greatest thing we can do to buffer ourselves against the ravages of stress is to continually spread good will to those around us.
Limit negatives. Stop negative self- criticism. Limit your time with negative people.
Stop digging. If you're in a hole, the first rule is to quit digging. If you're overloaded, start saying "NO!"
Accept your limitations. God is the author of limitations, and He gave them to us for our protection. We violate them at our peril.
Defend your boundaries. Establish appropriate boundaries and defend them against the onslaught of an extraordinarily demanding world.
Prune the activity branches. Like new branches on a fruit tree, additional activities and commitments add themselves to our lives every year, often without our permission.
Value simplicity. No one ever lived a simpler, more unencumbered than Jesus.
De-accumulate. Everything we own also owns us. Each possession must be cared for, maintained and paid for.
Control the "paper tumor." Every year the amount of paper and information it contains seems to metastasize without pity. When at all possible, use the "OHIO" rule - "Only Handle It Once."
Restrain technology. Maintain a healthy skepticism of any new technology and don't buy it unless you can control it.
Value traditions. Identify the traditions in your personal, family and church life that have special significance and protect them vigorously.
Establish stability zones. People generally benefit from having certain areas in their lives where change is kept to a minimum, and stability and reliability are assured.
Move less often. Church leaders are often called on to relocate frequently. But at a time when the rest of the world continues to change so wildly, leaders who have a choice may want to consider the benefits of greater longevity in one position.

[ read more...]

Ministering Amid Pandemonium

As technological progress continues, it axiomatically leads to increasing rates of stress, overload, complexity, and change, speed, debt, and meaninglessness. Yet how can we protect ourselves, or families and our churches from the exhaustion and burnout of our age? The following suggestions may provide some relief, both for you and for those you minister to.

Put more control in your life.
Learn to laugh.
Generate good will. The greatest thing we can do to buffer ourselves against the ravages of stress is to continually spread good will to those around us.
Limit negatives. Stop negative self- criticism. Limit your time with negative people.
Stop digging. If you're in a hole, the first rule is to quit digging. If you're overloaded, start saying "NO!"
Accept your limitations. God is the author of limitations, and He gave them to us for our protection. We violate them at our peril.
Defend your boundaries. Establish appropriate boundaries and defend them against the onslaught of an extraordinarily demanding world.
Prune the activity branches. Like new branches on a fruit tree, additional activities and commitments add themselves to our lives every year, often without our permission.
Value simplicity. No one ever lived a simpler, more unencumbered than Jesus.
De-accumulate. Everything we own also owns us. Each possession must be cared for, maintained and paid for.
Control the "paper tumor." Every year the amount of paper and information it contains seems to metastasize without pity. When at all possible, use the "OHIO" rule - "Only Handle It Once."
Restrain technology. Maintain a healthy skepticism of any new technology and don't buy it unless you can control it.
Value traditions. Identify the traditions in your personal, family and church life that have special significance and protect them vigorously.
Establish stability zones. People generally benefit from having certain areas in their lives where change is kept to a minimum, and stability and reliability are assured.
Move less often. Church leaders are often called on to relocate frequently. But at a time when the rest of the world continues to change so wildly, leaders who have a choice may want to consider the benefits of greater longevity in one position.

[ read more...]

How To Communicate To Change Lives

Why do preachers preach?

Since the goal of preaching is to change lives, preaching is the ultimate tool for church growth. But how can you be effective in communication through preaching? Listed below are eight questions to ask about your preaching.

1. Who will I be preaching to? Asking questions like, "What are their needs?", "What are their hurts?", and, "What are their interests?", will help us focus on where the people are. Why ask? Because although there are three things that always get one's attention:

Things that threaten us.
Things that are unusual.
Things that we value.

"A preacher can only consistently keep people's attention by focusing on what people value."

2. What does the bible say about their needs? Since the Bible is the Book of Life, is will have the answer to peoples needs! The preacher's task is to show the Bible to be relevant for today's needs.

3. What is the most practical way to say it? Application is the central task in preaching. So, preaching must be practical enough for people to know what to do. How to make preaching more practical?

Always aim for action.
Tell the people why.
Show them how.

Exhortation without explanation leads to frustration. Too often people respond to a message with the expression, "Yes, but how?" In other words, I agree with what you're saying, but "how do I do it?"

4. What is the most positive way to say it? Jesus never tried to convert anyone with anger. Although the Scriptures clearly warn of judgment, negative preaching only produces negative people.

[ read more...]

How To Communicate To Change Lives

Why do preachers preach?

Since the goal of preaching is to change lives, preaching is the ultimate tool for church growth. But how can you be effective in communication through preaching? Listed below are eight questions to ask about your preaching.

1. Who will I be preaching to? Asking questions like, "What are their needs?", "What are their hurts?", and, "What are their interests?", will help us focus on where the people are. Why ask? Because although there are three things that always get one's attention:

Things that threaten us.
Things that are unusual.
Things that we value.

"A preacher can only consistently keep people's attention by focusing on what people value."

2. What does the bible say about their needs? Since the Bible is the Book of Life, is will have the answer to peoples needs! The preacher's task is to show the Bible to be relevant for today's needs.

3. What is the most practical way to say it? Application is the central task in preaching. So, preaching must be practical enough for people to know what to do. How to make preaching more practical?

Always aim for action.
Tell the people why.
Show them how.

Exhortation without explanation leads to frustration. Too often people respond to a message with the expression, "Yes, but how?" In other words, I agree with what you're saying, but "how do I do it?"

4. What is the most positive way to say it? Jesus never tried to convert anyone with anger. Although the Scriptures clearly warn of judgment, negative preaching only produces negative people.

[ read more...]

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

Here are some simple ways to keep the little things from taking over your life:

Ask yourself the question, “Will this matter a year from now?” Is what you are worked up over going to matter a year from now? If not, don’t let it destroy you today.
Practice Humility. The less compelled you are to try to prove yourself to others, the easier it is to feel peace inside.
Remember that you become what you practice the most. How do you spend your time? What you do is what you become.
Every day, tell at least one person something you like, admire, or appreciate about them. Telling others that you appreciate them takes almost no effort, but pays enormous dividends.
Choose your battles wisely. Every circumstance or problem is not worth the fight. There will always be things and people that don’t do right.
Life is a test. It is only a test. When you look at life as a test, you begin to see each issue as an opportunity to grow.
Remind yourself that when you die, your “In Basket” won’t be empty. The purpose of life isn’t necessarily to get it all done, but to do the right things.

[ read more...]

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

Here are some simple ways to keep the little things from taking over your life:

Ask yourself the question, “Will this matter a year from now?” Is what you are worked up over going to matter a year from now? If not, don’t let it destroy you today.
Practice Humility. The less compelled you are to try to prove yourself to others, the easier it is to feel peace inside.
Remember that you become what you practice the most. How do you spend your time? What you do is what you become.
Every day, tell at least one person something you like, admire, or appreciate about them. Telling others that you appreciate them takes almost no effort, but pays enormous dividends.
Choose your battles wisely. Every circumstance or problem is not worth the fight. There will always be things and people that don’t do right.
Life is a test. It is only a test. When you look at life as a test, you begin to see each issue as an opportunity to grow.
Remind yourself that when you die, your “In Basket” won’t be empty. The purpose of life isn’t necessarily to get it all done, but to do the right things.

[ read more...]

The Chinese Bamboo Tree

One of the most unique and amazing plants in the world is the Chinese Bamboo Tree. This tree is much different than most trees in that it doesn't grow in the typical fashion. Once planted, one must water, feed and nurture the seed every day. It must be placed in an area of sunlight to receive nutrients from the sun. This process continues for four agonizing long years. For four years there is no evidence of growth. For four years there is no evidence of life. For four years it seems like one is totally wasting their efforts. But then in the fifth year an amazing thing happens; The tree finally breaks the surface of the ground and in the space of five weeks grows to an astounding height of 90 feet. It is as if the tree grows right before a person's eyes.

When I read of this amazing wonder of life, I can't help but think of the time and effort we invest into our ministries, often without any evidence of growth or life. There have been many times I have personally invested my time, talent and finances into a person or ministry without evidence that it would pay off. There have been times, because of this, that I have given up on a person. Yet, there have also been times after giving up, that I have seen a breakthrough, and that person I worked with finally accepts a bible study. They finally come to church. They receive the Holy Ghost. Those years of hard work and effort finally pay off.

The Bible states;

Gal 6:7-9

7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

[ read more...]

The Chinese Bamboo Tree

One of the most unique and amazing plants in the world is the Chinese Bamboo Tree. This tree is much different than most trees in that it doesn't grow in the typical fashion. Once planted, one must water, feed and nurture the seed every day. It must be placed in an area of sunlight to receive nutrients from the sun. This process continues for four agonizing long years. For four years there is no evidence of growth. For four years there is no evidence of life. For four years it seems like one is totally wasting their efforts. But then in the fifth year an amazing thing happens; The tree finally breaks the surface of the ground and in the space of five weeks grows to an astounding height of 90 feet. It is as if the tree grows right before a person's eyes.

When I read of this amazing wonder of life, I can't help but think of the time and effort we invest into our ministries, often without any evidence of growth or life. There have been many times I have personally invested my time, talent and finances into a person or ministry without evidence that it would pay off. There have been times, because of this, that I have given up on a person. Yet, there have also been times after giving up, that I have seen a breakthrough, and that person I worked with finally accepts a bible study. They finally come to church. They receive the Holy Ghost. Those years of hard work and effort finally pay off.

The Bible states;

Gal 6:7-9

7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

[ read more...]

Bi-Vocational Ministry - The Need to Refuel

To avoid burnout one needs to identify ways to refuel the energy expended in their challenging role of bi-vocational ministry. Exercise, proper diet, and adequate rest cannot be over-emphasized for long-term health, stamina, and creativity.

One analogy is that of an automobile over the course of a year. It order to function without failure it needs to visit the occasional gas station, be serviced for lubrication and filter replacements, undergo routine preventive maintenance, be cleaned, have inspections and documentation kept current, and so forth. Just as these things are essential to problem-free automobile service, similar things are essential to problem-free bi-vocational ministry. A few tips include:

Block out multiple windows of time for quality family time each week.
Maintain spontaneity and the capacity to have fun.
Schedule a vacation or time away from church and work at the same time.
Leave work at the office. When you come home bring “you” with you.
Discover ways to expend excess energy, tension, and anxiety.

[ read more...]

Bi-Vocational Ministry - The Need to Refuel

To avoid burnout one needs to identify ways to refuel the energy expended in their challenging role of bi-vocational ministry. Exercise, proper diet, and adequate rest cannot be over-emphasized for long-term health, stamina, and creativity.

One analogy is that of an automobile over the course of a year. It order to function without failure it needs to visit the occasional gas station, be serviced for lubrication and filter replacements, undergo routine preventive maintenance, be cleaned, have inspections and documentation kept current, and so forth. Just as these things are essential to problem-free automobile service, similar things are essential to problem-free bi-vocational ministry. A few tips include:

Block out multiple windows of time for quality family time each week.
Maintain spontaneity and the capacity to have fun.
Schedule a vacation or time away from church and work at the same time.
Leave work at the office. When you come home bring “you” with you.
Discover ways to expend excess energy, tension, and anxiety.

[ read more...]

Money Matters - The Budget's Attitude

One of the top reasons that so many people, including Christians, fail at budgeting is simply attitude. It a person thinks of it as a penny-pinching sacrifice instead of a means for achieving one’s financial goals, then it is unlikely they will stay with it. To increase the chances of a successful budget, it is important to work on the attitude.

If ”budget” sounds too harsh…consider it as a “financial plan” for the home. The plan can help you get ahead; control spending, and save for future spending. Budgeting really does matter in the process to help one reach their goals and without some formal plan of working with the finances, goals and dreams can never be reached.

Money is a tool…and a tool that everyone needs in today’s society. This tool can enable a person to reach their goals in life, however, until a person knows where their money goes and how it is spent, a conscious decision about how to use this tool effectively is impossible.

So it is important to get the right attitude and not give up. Quitting too soon or tiring of the process is simply a means of failure in reaching the potential goals and dreams one has.

The following scriptures give spiritual guidance for the finances of the home. Take the time to read these and study God’s plan for financial survival.

Prosperity: Genesis 39:3; Psalms 1:3; Joshua 1:6-8; Luke 6:38; John 10:10

Provision: Genesis 41; Exodus 15; I Kings 17; John 21:2-6; Matthew 4:11

Giving: Deuteronomy 14:23; Malachi 3:10; Matthew 23:23; Hebrews 7:1,2

Budgeting: Proverbs 22:3; 24:3,4; 27:12; Luke 12:16-21; Luke 14:28-30

[ read more...]

Money Matters - The Budget's Attitude

One of the top reasons that so many people, including Christians, fail at budgeting is simply attitude. It a person thinks of it as a penny-pinching sacrifice instead of a means for achieving one’s financial goals, then it is unlikely they will stay with it. To increase the chances of a successful budget, it is important to work on the attitude.

If ”budget” sounds too harsh…consider it as a “financial plan” for the home. The plan can help you get ahead; control spending, and save for future spending. Budgeting really does matter in the process to help one reach their goals and without some formal plan of working with the finances, goals and dreams can never be reached.

Money is a tool…and a tool that everyone needs in today’s society. This tool can enable a person to reach their goals in life, however, until a person knows where their money goes and how it is spent, a conscious decision about how to use this tool effectively is impossible.

So it is important to get the right attitude and not give up. Quitting too soon or tiring of the process is simply a means of failure in reaching the potential goals and dreams one has.

The following scriptures give spiritual guidance for the finances of the home. Take the time to read these and study God’s plan for financial survival.