The Dark Side of Spiritual Abuse - Part 5

What I increasingly discovered was in these dark spiritually abusive environments, it serves as excellent and fertile conditions for hypocrisy to prevail. As you dig deeper into these environments you soon discover dark, deviant sins and moral corruption simmering beneath the surface. I believe that the huge level of repression that takes place in these “churches” does nothing except bring out the worst sins of the flesh. Although when someone finally does decide to speak up concerning the matter of these dark sins, the leader usually resorts to efforts of damage control so that the leadership and the church do not have a soiling of “reputation.” Man hasn’t really learned any new tricks about covering sin; he still resorts to insufficient fig leaves just as Adam and Eve did at the beginning of the state of man.

What I also found to be very surprising is that most of the time the wife of the leader will also work toward damage control. She will do everything within her power to live up to the social pressures of maintaining some semblance of normalcy in the various relationships she has within the church. She apparently has come to understand that the dark side of her mate can shift on her as much as it does with those people he is taking advantage of. So instead of dealing with the moral and spiritual failure that is present things are left to follow the course of gravity. Gravity leads the person to maintain an environment of manipulation and absolute mind control on those people he is supposed to serve.

While I have written about the traits and characteristics of those who are involved in a spiritually abusive environment, I have not been specific with practices of spiritual abuse. I will list some of the practices while leaving some of the most extreme situations out as some would probably be absolutely shocked to know this kind of thing takes place under the guise of religion. So here are some actual practices of spiritual abuse:

• A member having to submit financial records to the church leader and the leader determines how and when they are to spend their money.

• A member having to sell various things on a constant basis to feed the coffers of the church so that it entirely benefits the leader.

• A wide disparity between the lifestyle of the leader and the members. He lives like a king while the members appear to live at a level of poverty or barely just able to get by.

• The leader using a “word of knowledge” or “word of wisdom” to pick a spouse for those who are in the congregation.

• Members being absolutely forbidden to question the direction the leader takes or question the decisions he is making.

Put It In Writing

The written word is persuasive. A spoken word is quickly forgotten, but put the same words in writing and the phrase is instantly given new credence and respect. For that reason, putting it in writing is a wise practice. When everything is written out, you're able to see clearly what needs to be accomplished, how it will be done, and what your responsibility is. By putting it in writing, you're making a commitment.....

Car Washes and Leadership

I recently attending a church goal setting and calendar planning session. I marveled as I observed each presentation. The goals were impressive, and every presenter received accolades at the conclusion of each delivery. It was expected that I would be impressed. When everyone was finished the pastor asked me if I had any questions for the various department leaders now that the presentations were finished. I did have a few.

“How many people on your team or in each department have any clue as to what you just presented? As the department leader did any of you create these presentations on your own and without the input of your team? Were any of these presentations simply modifications to last years? Did anyone achieve what was proposed to do last year? How do you hold yourselves accountable to attaining these goals? Do you or they know how you are going to accomplish these goals? How do your goals support the goals of the other departments? Are the goals of every department mutually supporting one common church vision? Are the goals of any one department pulling in a separate direction and counteracting the goals of another? Did the church develop its vision first and then have every department develop goals that are essential in order to reach the vision? Are your goals self-serving or do they benefit everyone else? Are any departments competing for people, calendar time, resources or talents in order to achieve your goals? How do you intend to measure these goals in order to track them? What data did you use in order to set your goals? Does anybody know exactly where this church is heading and what its vision is?”

These were just a few of the questions I asked. Surprisingly nobody had answers for any of these questions....

How to Lead a Spirit-filled Worship Service

There are many worship services going on today but too many lack Holy Ghost (Holy Spirit) involvement.  The only way to lead a Spirit-filled worship service is if those doing the leading are filled with the Spirit.  Sounds basic I know, but it really is the answer to leading a true Holy Ghost inspired worship service.  Those who are involved need to have a true love for worshipping God and they need to express that while leading.  The musicians, singers and anyone on the platform leading worship should be full of the Holy Ghost themselves (John 20:22)....

The Chinese Bamboo Tree

When I read of this amazing wonder of life, I can't help but think of the time and effort we invest into our ministries, often without any evidence of growth or life. There have been many times I have personally invested my time, talent and finances into a person or ministry without evidence that it would pay off. There have been times, because of this, that I have given up on a person. Yet, there have also been times after giving up, that I have seen a breakthrough, and that person I worked with finally accepts a bible study. They finally come to church. They receive the Holy Ghost. Those years of hard work and effort finally pay off.

The Bible states;

Gal 6:7-9

7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

Tired Of The Results You Are Seeing?

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.  If you are not pleased with the results you are seeing in a given ministry or program, make a change.

Positive change requires vision.  Vision is always needed to begin a new ministry or program, but it is also needed to continue it.  We too often allow vision to guide us to begin something, but then leave vision out of the picture when growth or decrease begin to happen.  It will take constant vision casting to cause a given ministry to continue to have growth.

Change it up!  It is in our nature to try to find a norm or comfort zone.  However, when people find these, they begin to relax.  Once they relax, it is very hard if possible at all to re-motivate them.  One pastor told me he will throw a hammer through a wall before he allows people to think that change is not happening in the church.  Constant change is exciting!

Change only what needs changing.  Don’t get in the way of progress.  Allow those areas and people who are having success to continue without interference.  There are always areas of the church that need help.  Only make changes there.  If modifications are to be made in an area of the church that is doing well, make sure they are small modifications that will not offend those who are causing progress.

Feed My Sheep

Few people will deny the theory that a local church stops growing as the size of the church building reaches 80% capacity.  The reason for this is purely human and not so spiritual.  Most people simply will not tolerate feeling crowded in the pews.  Using chairs instead of pews helps this problem somewhat, but eventually the congregants feel like their space is being invaded and they soon become uncomfortable. However this is not the biggest reason why churches plateau and stop growing.

We use the analogy that a fish will only grow to a certain size in a small fish bowl but in a larger pond for instance, the fish can grow much larger.  I’m not so sure however that God’s church should so easily be compared to a fish.  I suggest that the building is not necessarily the problem in most cases.  In fact, we have all seen churches who were literally bursting out at the seams.  In many parts of the world today, revival is happening at an unprecedented rate.  Pews are packed and chairs are in the aisles.  Some churches are utilizing 2-3 services per day to accommodate the crowds.....

Some Announcement Pointers

All churches must learn to use their announcements as a tool to create anticipation and excitement for the future growth of the church, both short and long term.

Announcements are part of the 'marketing' campaign of the Church. Why is it that corporations will spend millions of dollars and months of planning on their 'announcing', yet we spend very little time and money concerning the marketing of our church and its events.

·        Make sure to announce only those events that pertain to the entire body of the church.

·        If you start announcing personal events, you are guaranteed to forget something or somebody along the way, and you will end up offending somebody.

·        Personal events such as showers, weddings, etc. can be included in Church Bulletins, and Church Websites.

·        Another easy way to announce personal events is to create a power point slide show of all of the upcoming events of the church including these personal events. This slide show can be shown before each service as part of a countdown, or simply as a media presentation before service.

·        Announcements can also be used to create excitement for

Twenty Building Blocks Of Vision

1.     A vision begins as a concern.

As a pastor, you probably have a vision of great revival for your city. But it began as a concern for souls, then it grew into a burden for souls. It grew till it consumed your thoughts. This is the birthplace of vision. God has placed that vision there.

2.     A vision does not necessarily require immediate action.

When God speaks to you, he may not be giving you a vision for the immediate.  God’s timing is not our timing. When David was anointed king, he did not take the throne for many years.  He went through many hardships before he finally became king.

3.     Pray for opportunities and plan as if you expect God to answer your prayers.

The Bible says that the steps of the righteous are ordered by the Lord. Begin to pray for the right people and opportunities to be brought into your life...God will order your steps.

4.     God is using your circumstances to position and prepare you to accomplish His vision for your life.

Don't let your situation blind your vision. God will use a situation that seems totally opposite of your vision to enable you to accomplish it.

Think of Joseph, he literally had a dream of his brothers bowing down to him, the sun, the moon, and the stars made obeisance to him...he was going to be a ruler of people. Of course that didn't happen for a long time, God used circumstance after circumstance to prepare him for that vision. Joseph could have easily become blinded by each of those, but instead God used each situation to advance him closer to His dream.

5.     What God originates, he orchestrates.

If God started it, He will finish it. Many are the times when we can't see the way through, but nothing shall be impossible with God. The Red Sea crossing is a beautiful example of God orchestrating Moses' vision of deliverance for his people.

6.     Walk before you talk; investigate before you initiate.

Remember a vision does not require immediate action, a lot of planning and preparation needs to be done in advance.

7.     Communicate your vision as a solution to a problem that must be addressed immediately.

Jesus told his disciples, 'the harvest is great but the laborers are few.' Later in the book of John, Jesus said, "The fields are already white to harvest." Jesus was communicating His vision to His disciples in a way they could understand. Fields turn white after they turn golden, today we harvest golden fields of grain. In essence, Jesus was saying, It is almost too late for this harvest, I need laborers right now!

8.     Cast your vision to the appropriate people at the appropriate time.

In Acts, chapter one, Jesus has some very important words for some very important people.  He waited until this very critical time to cast His vision to them. The Holy Ghost would come after He ascended to heaven, and the Holy Ghost would give them power to be witnesses to all people.

It is very interesting to note that the number of people there was 120. This was the exact number which the Jewish people required to form a council in any city. There were others who had been followers of Jesus, but for one reason or another had departed from this group.

Jesus used these last words to cast His vision for mankind to the appropriate people at the perfect time. The result was life changing revival for millions of people around the world even to this day!

9.     Don't expect others to take greater risks or make greater sacrifices than you have.