The Need For True Friendship

It is so important that we recognize our need for close friends.

Luke 10:38-42

38 Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.

39 And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word.

40 But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.

41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:

42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.

During His ministry, Jesus had many friends and many people that He was friendly to. Yet Jesus was only very close to a few people. Mary, Martha, and Lazarus were three of Jesus' closest friends on this earth. This family of brother and sisters lived just outside of Jerusalem in the town of Bethany. Jesus would often stay with them on His journeys into the city. He became very close to them. You may all remember the story in this scripture...Mary and Martha heard that Jesus was coming. Martha immediately dropped everything that she was doing and began to prepare the house and the food and all of the things that are necessary to host a guest. Instead of helping her sister, Mary chose to sit at the feet of Jesus to hear His word and to fellowship with Him. This so upset Martha that she went to Jesus and vented her feelings on Him. Jesus responded and said, "Martha, you are so upset about this, don't you understand that what your sister has chosen to do is a needful thing!" What was this needful thing that Jesus was referring to? It was the communing together of close friends!

Jesus needed this and so did Martha. In fact what stands out to me about his story is what Martha was doing was also a needful thing. What host would not clean the house, prepare the food and make sure everything was in order? That was important. Yet Jesus made it very clear that a special time of sharing between friends was much more important than hosting a guest! You must find time, you must make time to spend with your closest friends. Even at the cost of neglecting something important! I call this 'planned neglect'. Make plans to neglect some things so you can spend some quality time with friends. It has to happen, it is of outmost importance!

Leadership's Limitations

In this unpredictable and changing world, the one thing we can always control is the way we think. While we have little control over circumstances or the actions of others, we can control our reactions to them. And anyone can learn how to think more positively and operate with a better attitude, regardless of circumstances, temperament, or intellect. To begin thinking more positively and leading your people to do the same, follow these guidelines:

Act like the person you wish to become.
To start thinking positively, begin by acting positively. Most of us wait until we feel like taking action, but that’s going about it backwards. Instead, by putting our desires into action, we can establish a habit of thinking positively – and this results in a positive attitude.

Cultivate a Consistent Positive Attitude.
To reap a successful harvest, a farmer doesn’t plant seeds and then just expect them to grow on their own. He must continually water, weed, fertilize and nurture the growing plants if he wants them to reach maturity. Likewise, if we want a successful life, we need to spend time everyday nurturing our attitude. Focus on the positive and successful. Don’t feed the weeds.

Feed My Sheep

Few people will deny the theory that a local church stops growing as the size of the church building reaches 80% capacity.  The reason for this is purely human and not so spiritual.  Most people simply will not tolerate feeling crowded in the pews.  Using chairs instead of pews helps this problem somewhat, but eventually the congregants feel like their space is being invaded and they soon become uncomfortable. However this is not the biggest reason why churches plateau and stop growing.

We use the analogy that a fish will only grow to a certain size in a small fish bowl but in a larger pond for instance, the fish can grow much larger.  I’m not so sure however that God’s church should so easily be compared to a fish.  I suggest that the building is not necessarily the problem in most cases.  In fact, we have all seen churches who were literally bursting out at the seams.  In many parts of the world today, revival is happening at an unprecedented rate.  Pews are packed and chairs are in the aisles.  Some churches are utilizing 2-3 services per day to accommodate the crowds. 

While it is true that most people don’t like to be in a crowded atmosphere, it is also true that people will come when they are being fed.  Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love me Peter?”   Peter responded in the affirmative and when he did, our Lord told him to “Feed my sheep.”  He did not tell Peter to house them or get them plenty of exercise.  He told him to “Feed Them”.

People who are starving in the natural will do everything they can to get even the smallest amount of food or water.   Something within them drives them on as they struggle to find something to fill their belly.  It is very sad that much of our world’s population goes to bed hungry and starving every day.

We are also living in a day when people are starving spiritually.  People are eating almost anything that comes along spiritually speaking.  Truth is often ignored in the famished rush to simply fill the starving spiritual belly.  People don’t care what you are preaching, just so it answers some of the gnawing that is in their heart and soul.  An alcoholic will receive the five (or is it six) step program and ignore the friend who is telling him about the delivering power of the Holy Ghost.  Why is that?   He’s hungry.  He wants whatever is going to fill his spiritual belly.  Mentally he makes the decision to do what is simplest and easiest to fix his spiritual problem.  That couple in the divorce court often don’t care if you say God is 3 or God is 1.  They are looking for the thing that is going to keep their family together.

What’s the greatest church growth program you could have this year?  Feed His sheep.  People won’t mind sitting closer to one another when your ministry is holding their family together.  When the Holy Spirit is the element that is behind every song and every sermon, people will crowd in to see and hear what is going on. 

When You're The New Pastor

New Pastors often make elementary mistakes when they assume the pastorate of a church. Even though you’re now the pastor, you’re still the “new kid on the block.” Listed are some strategies to employ during the first year of your new pastorate.

• Earn confidence by showing competence in decision-making.
  
• Focus on people first – programs second.
  
• Make no major changes the first year.
  
• Promote health through loving the people.
  
• Tackle the most critical problems one at a time – line them up single file.
  
• Respect culture – each church has its unique history.
  

Drawing From A Dry Well

I stared out of my office window. In 3 hours my congregation would be filling the auditorium to receive watering for their souls and seek direction and inspiration. The prospect used to snap my adrenaline to attention and send me bounding through the sanctuary straightening chairs, adjusting microphones, checking thermostats. Anticipation of the Holy Spirit’s ministry would stir my faith with expectation. It was my favorite time of the week – then. I managed to continue preparing messages, but careful planning of the services overloaded the limits of my emotional energy. I winged it more Sundays than I care to admit. Routine pastoral tasks were postponed or neglected. Knowing I wasn’t giving the pastorate my best effort nagged my conscience and compounded my distress. Thankfully, I survived. Ministry once again puts a bounce in my steps. My devotional life has regained its pulse. Vision and purpose flow through my veins. I’ve come through to the bright side of the “valley of the shadow of death.” Here are some things I learned about surviving when the well runs dry.

1. Recognize the Adversary. According to I Peter 5:8, we have an adversary who seeks to devour us. Satan’s strategy is seen throughout the Scriptures – to strike shepherds and scatter the sheep. For instance, he assaulted Timothy with insecurity and inadequacy. I was Timothy. Satan harassed me with thoughts: You’re a failure. You’re a terrible pastor. Your aren’t gifted enough. The church would be better off without you. You’ve missed your calling. They hounded my mind continually, and I gegan to believe them. Then I had to trust that He would equip and enable me to get the job done. I went to the Scriptures that speak of endurance and perseverance. Deep down I knew I had to press on, and God would see me through. He did. I’m thankful I didn’t quit.
   
2. Settle the Commitment Issue. Another breakthrough came by committing myself anew to the call of pasturing. Discouragement caused me to entertain ideas of quitting the ministry and pursuing other professions. Mentally I packed my bags daily. The fantasies provided brief oases in my desert, but ultimately they sucked me down into deeper depression. Indecision frustrated and complicated my state of mind. I became angry that the ministry forced me to say “No” to other options. Then Jesus’ words began to impress my thoughts, “Whosoever wishes to save his life shall lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake shall find it.” (Matt. 16:25). I was trying to save my life. Leaving the ministry would be a cop-out and would cost me long-term blessings and character development. Therefore, I determined to stick with it and be faithful to the call. Even if it killed me, I would give myself to the ministry. It was a turning point. The distracting, conflicting desires faded. Contentment came, followed by genuine joy.

Money Matters - Reasons For Our Working

There are reasons that we have to work.  Listed are some brief reasons that we are to work and the benefits we gain from it.

1.  We work to provide for our Family.  I Timothy 5:8 says, “but if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel.”

• God expects a Christian to labor to provide for family needs.  Providing for family necessities is a part of keeping the faith.  Failure to do so makes that person equivalent to an unbeliever.

 2.  We work in order to help others.  Ephesians 4:28 says, “Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.”

• Our generosity to help others is important to our Christian character.  We must be concerned with the needs of other.

3.  We work to render to God.  Mark 12:17 says, “…render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.”

• God gives us the 100% so that we might in turn give him 10%.  By doing so, he blesses the 90% that is remaining.

The Path to Freedom

Despise not the day of small things.

How do you build a church?

First you build a man. – Thou are Peter and upon this rock will I build my church.  If Peter did not mature, the church would not grow.

·       God has chosen to build his church upon people. 

·       He has chosen to use your life to build His church in the village you are from.

·       If you do not grow, your church will not grow.

·       This is why it’s important for you to study God’s Word.

·       If you do not pray your church will not pray.

·       If you do not have a genuine love for God, then your church will not have a genuine love for God.

·       If you do not have compassion on the lost, your church will not have compassion on the lost.

·       Your church will become a reflection of you.

Don’t be so quick to blame your people if they are not bringing someone to church with them.

·       Don’t be so hard on them if they are not reaching out to their neighbors.

·       Realize that a church most often, does what they see their pastor do.

·       If you want your church to grow, be a soul winner yourself.

·       If you want your church to reach out to others, be someone who reaches out to others.

·       By your example, teach them to reach others.

·       By your example teach them to win the lost.

Then you begin laying a foundation.

·       You invest in some people to stand beside you.

·       This time of building is not glorious.

·       This time of laying a foundation is not one that gets the  attention from everyone around you. 

·       Other Pastors are not going to stand up and take notice when you are building the Church’s foundation.

·       But understand a building can be no larger than the foundation,

·       And you cannot build upon something that is not there.

You will not have a strong stable church that is growing if you do not have a strong stable foundation to support it.

·       So you begin to invest yourself in some good people whose love for God us unquestionable.

·       Some people who will stand beside you, no matter what comes against the church.

·       Some people who know your vision for the church and are willing to allow their lives to be built upon.

·       You build that foundation.  You build that foundation strong. 

Ministering Amid Pandemonium

As technological progress continues, it axiomatically leads to increasing rates of stress, overload, complexity, and change, speed, debt, and meaninglessness. Yet how can we protect ourselves, or families and our churches from the exhaustion and burnout of our age? The following suggestions may provide some relief, both for you and for those you minister to.

• Put more control in your life.
• Learn to laugh.
• Generate good will. The greatest thing we can do to buffer ourselves against the ravages of stress is to continually spread good will to those around us.
• Limit negatives. Stop negative self- criticism. Limit your time with negative people.
• Stop digging. If you're in a hole, the first rule is to quit digging. If you're overloaded, start saying "NO!"
• Accept your limitations. God is the author of limitations, and He gave them to us for our protection. We violate them at our peril.
• Defend your boundaries. Establish appropriate boundaries and defend them against the onslaught of an extraordinarily demanding world.
• Prune the activity branches. Like new branches on a fruit tree, additional activities and commitments add themselves to our lives every year, often without our permission.
• Value simplicity. No one ever lived a simpler, more unencumbered than Jesus.
• De-accumulate. Everything we own also owns us. Each possession must be cared for, maintained and paid for.
• Control the "paper tumor." Every year the amount of paper and information it contains seems to metastasize without pity. When at all possible, use the "OHIO" rule - "Only Handle It Once."
• Restrain technology. Maintain a healthy skepticism of any new technology and don't buy it unless you can control it.
• Value traditions. Identify the traditions in your personal, family and church life that have special significance and protect them vigorously.
• Establish stability zones. People generally benefit from having certain areas in their lives where change is kept to a minimum, and stability and reliability are assured.
• Move less often. Church leaders are often called on to relocate frequently. But at a time when the rest of the world continues to change so wildly, leaders who have a choice may want to consider the benefits of greater longevity in one position.

Ten Procrastination Traps To Avoid

Here are some foot- dragging steps that are sure to keep you buried in things to do.

Floundering - The failure to focus attention and efforts in a single direction. The cause is a lack of clear-cut goals. This trap can be avoided by crystallizing your goals. Try writing them down on paper. Make them as specific as possible. And Give Them Accomplishment Dates.

Wheel-Spinning - Trying to do something so you'll feel busy but accomplishing little or nothing. This usually happens when we let ourselves get behind in our work and try to assuage out guilty feelings by doing everything at once. You won't solve the problem by frantic activity. Survey your list and make a schedule to accomplish everything in a realistic time frame.

Fire-Fighting - Living in a state of perpetual crisis. We often end up like this due to a lack of planning and goals. It's important to include in your schedule planning time. Take the time to sit down and review your schedule and you goals on a daily and weekly basis.

Vacillation - Indecision. This happens when we fail to weigh the alternatives or consider the possibilities. Get tough with yourself. Weigh the pros and cons, write down all the possibilities and make decisions. Trying to do something and failing is better than trying to do nothing and succeeding.

Dawdling - Drifting, daydreaming, dilly-dallying. This is a failure to keep your goals clearly in mind and make them a priority. Give yourself a deadline and stick to it. Promise yourself a reward when you've done it.

Spraying - Diverting your efforts to many tasks instead of one; spreading yourself too thin. This is also the result of a failure to focus on your goals. After you've written down your goals, focus all your energy on accomplishing them one at a time.