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"A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children's children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just" (Proverbs 13:22).
"Behold, the third time I am ready to come to you; and I will not be burdensome to you: for I seek not yours, but you: for the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children" (II Corinthians 12:14).
"Be a Man!" When we were boys, my brother Rick would say this to me after he slugged me and made cry. Brothers can be the best of friends and they can also be very cruel to one another. Rick was 6 years older than I was and without a father in our home at the time, he was the only male role-model in our home and at times, quite the bully.
Be a man. Wow! What volumes of pain and suffering in this world would be avoided if the husbands, fathers and leaders of our world would truly be men. To be a man, has been my personal quest since I was very young. I wasn't quite sure as a boy, what a man was, but something in my heart and mind told me that to be a man was something honorable and good.
Coming from a dysfunctional family, my understanding of the role of a man has been blurred to say the least. Looking back at my childhood, I realize that the example of a good man was never shown to me. In my early years of being a father, I realized this when I began feeling and expressing a father's love to my children. It was then that I realized that I had never truly been the benefactor of such caring, protective love. Painful memories flooded my mind often as I would compare the careful love my children received from my wife and I, with the careless and even abusive treatment my bothers, sisters and I received at the hands of our parents.
It was at this point in my life, that I realized I was more a true man than anyone in my family had ever modeled before me. No parent, grandparent, or uncle had shown me what it was to be a man. Their own dysfunctional upbringings had so marred their lives that they were incapable of it. I also realized that I had a Heavenly Father who had been and was my example.
We hear a lot about mentors these days. I myself have 3 men who are my mentors. I'm not sure they all know it. But, I have patterned my life and ministry after the example they have led in my life. As well, I also mentor more than one young minister. My Heavenly Father is my dearest mentor. As a young father, I would often ask myself, "How would my Heavenly Father react to this situation?" If I asked myself how my earthly father would react or respond to a given situation, I would get a host of harmful or dangerous answers. Yet, when I would ask myself how my Heavenly father would respond, I would get an answer that was helpful and healthy to my children.
I am a student of my heavenly father. I not only want to be a good father by His example, but I also want to be as good a man as he is. Jesus' example to men is by far the best example that anyone could follow. His manhood did not allow him to shirk his responsibility to humanity. It was his maleness that caused him to robe Himself in flesh and suffer for you and I. You might say that it was his Divinity or His God-ness that would cause such an act. I would argue that His maleness was the element of His Divine makeup that caused Him to risk everything to save His children. A true Father would do that. A genuine man would die for his children and His friends. Without hesitation, he would suffer as Jesus suffered for us. If it meant that my children would not have to live with pain and sickness as I have seen in this world, I would suffer the same beating that Christ suffered at the whipping post. Why? Because a real man would do that for His children.
We live in a world that does not understand or appreciate good men. In fact, we elect men of questionable character into public office every year. William Jefferson Clinton was one of the worst embarrassments this proud country ever had to endure. The nations of the world scoffed and ridiculed us for having such a man as our national leader. Yet, we held him high as our President. We gave him the same careful respect that we gave the many other honorable men who have lead this country. And at each turn, he took this country farther and farther away from the virtuous values that our great country was founded upon.
Where are the men? Where are the fellows who would rise up and say, "Follow Me!", and be someone worth following. Where are the great leaders of public office and church who would lead us to righteousness and Truth. Have we come so far in the wrong direction, that there is no way to return to our God given roles as fathers and men? It used to be that men were chosen to public office because of their good character. Now, he is chosen by the personal profit the voter would receive by his being elected. Political campaigns are no longer public endorsements of a man's good character and ability to lead, but now they are advertisements telling voters what they will gain personally if the man is elected. Who cares if the man is of extremely questionable character, as long as taxes go down and gross pay goes up.
I want to be a good man. In my old age, I want to be the honorable Patriarch of my children's children. When they need Godly advice, I pray that my life would be of such example that they would consider my counsel valuable. Proverbs 13:22 is speaking of more than financial wealth. I believe it is speaking of the example a good man would give to his children. I have spent most of my adult life making decisions and choices that are incorrect, because no good example was given to me as a child. My point of reference in life has had no true bearing. My life has not had the advantage of a righteous father's influence.
Admittingly, I have envied the fellows around me whose fathers are Godly men. I wonder how my life might have been different if I could have had such good influence. At the same time, I am so very thankful that my own son could have the influence of a Godly father. He is such a precious soul, and I pray that my example to him would somehow affect my family into the next generation. My prayer is that he would become a better man than myself, so that his influence would touch the lives of my great grandchildren.
"Be A Man." What a high calling. What an honorable place. Many ministries would still be intact if that minister would have been a truly good man. Many families would still be together if that husband would have understood what it meant to "be a man".
"Be A Man, Be A Good Man"
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- Showing your compassionate and caring nature will aid you in forging successful relationships.
- When you extinguish hope, you create desperation.
- Remember that your followers generally want to believe that what they do is their own idea and, more importantly, that it genuinely makes a difference.
- If you practice dictatorial leadership, you prepare yourself to be dictated to.
- Delegate responsibility and authority by empowering people to act on their own.
- When you make it to the top, turn and reach down for the person behind you.
- You must be consistently fair and decent in both the business and personal side of life.
- Never add the weight of your character to a charge against a person without knowing it to be true.
- Never crush a man out, thereby making him and his friends permanent enemies of your organization...
A Few Good Things To Know About People
- Showing your compassionate and caring nature will aid you in forging successful relationships.
- When you extinguish hope, you create desperation.
- Remember that your followers generally want to believe that what they do is their own idea and, more importantly, that it genuinely makes a difference.
- If you practice dictatorial leadership, you prepare yourself to be dictated to.
- Delegate responsibility and authority by empowering people to act on their own.
- When you make it to the top, turn and reach down for the person behind you.
- You must be consistently fair and decent in both the business and personal side of life.
- Never add the weight of your character to a charge against a person without knowing it to be true.
- Never crush a man out, thereby making him and his friends permanent enemies of your organization...
What to do When People Don't Worship
Although we put so much effort into preparing for our worship services with music practices and prayer meetings, there are some in our churches that we know are not going to worship. It doesn't matter how wonderful the music sounds or how exciting the service may be, some people just aren't going to be involved at all in worship. The Spirit can be so powerful and the anointing be so strong and there are people whose lives are clearly being changed, yet there will be that select few who are content sitting in their seats doing nothing. What do we do when people don't worship? How do we get those people to worship?......
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What to do When People Don't Worship
Although we put so much effort into preparing for our worship services with music practices and prayer meetings, there are some in our churches that we know are not going to worship. It doesn't matter how wonderful the music sounds or how exciting the service may be, some people just aren't going to be involved at all in worship. The Spirit can be so powerful and the anointing be so strong and there are people whose lives are clearly being changed, yet there will be that select few who are content sitting in their seats doing nothing. What do we do when people don't worship? How do we get those people to worship?......
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Why does it work in other churches, but not in our church?
One question we often hear is "Why does it work in other churches, but not in our church?" We recently came across these five reasons:
- One church may be in a small rural community where it is easy to develop close personal relationships. Another may be in a big city where shallow impersonal relationships are the standard. (In the country they all wave to each other – even to strangers. In the metro areas, they don’t speak to one another even when they walk abreast on the streets.
- One town may have a growing populating while another may have a shrinking population. Industry is brining people into one area and as a result the pews seem to fill up all by themselves. Factory shutdowns may be causing another town to be losing its population, hence it looks like the church is not doing a good job since it too is shrinking......
Why does it work in other churches, but not in our church?
One question we often hear is "Why does it work in other churches, but not in our church?" We recently came across these five reasons:
- One church may be in a small rural community where it is easy to develop close personal relationships. Another may be in a big city where shallow impersonal relationships are the standard. (In the country they all wave to each other – even to strangers. In the metro areas, they don’t speak to one another even when they walk abreast on the streets.
- One town may have a growing populating while another may have a shrinking population. Industry is brining people into one area and as a result the pews seem to fill up all by themselves. Factory shutdowns may be causing another town to be losing its population, hence it looks like the church is not doing a good job since it too is shrinking......
How important are relationships anyway?
Relationships. A good relationship can make you, but a bad relationship can destroy you. The chance we take to have a good relationship is almost not worth the risk to many people. They have been so hurt by relationships that they choose rather to become introvert and avoid relationships with other people at all costs. Their way of avoiding another painful experience is to avoid all close relationships....
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How important are relationships anyway?
Relationships. A good relationship can make you, but a bad relationship can destroy you. The chance we take to have a good relationship is almost not worth the risk to many people. They have been so hurt by relationships that they choose rather to become introvert and avoid relationships with other people at all costs. Their way of avoiding another painful experience is to avoid all close relationships....
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One of the biggest problems in many of our churches is a lack of leadership. Where do you find people who have leadership abilities?
"You don't have to bring in a hireling to find leadership in your church…the person you are looking for might be closer than you think."
- People who have displayed faithfulness in small things. He might be the usher who is constantly faithful to the duties of ushering. Don't leave that person doing the same thing for 30 years because they do it so well. Move them into areas of leadership....
Where to Look for Leadership in Your Church
One of the biggest problems in many of our churches is a lack of leadership. Where do you find people who have leadership abilities?
"You don't have to bring in a hireling to find leadership in your church…the person you are looking for might be closer than you think."
- People who have displayed faithfulness in small things. He might be the usher who is constantly faithful to the duties of ushering. Don't leave that person doing the same thing for 30 years because they do it so well. Move them into areas of leadership....
The Dangers of Liberty
Liberty, Liberation: Freedom from physical, political, and spiritual oppression.
- One of the dominant themes of the Old Testament is that Yahweh is the God who liberated the Israelites from their bondage in Egypt. (Passover)
- In the New Testament, God is the one who liberates people from bondage to sin through Jesus Christ. (Cross)
Freedom: The ability to be and do what one wants instead of being controlled by another.
- We are able to choose our actions and attitudes, our responses to others and to God.
- In another sense, we cannot be and do what we want because we are not independent of others or God.
- The Bible constantly affirms that the kind of freedom all persons have is the kind of freedom that slaves have.....
The Dangers of Liberty
Liberty, Liberation: Freedom from physical, political, and spiritual oppression.
- One of the dominant themes of the Old Testament is that Yahweh is the God who liberated the Israelites from their bondage in Egypt. (Passover)
- In the New Testament, God is the one who liberates people from bondage to sin through Jesus Christ. (Cross)
Freedom: The ability to be and do what one wants instead of being controlled by another.
- We are able to choose our actions and attitudes, our responses to others and to God.
- In another sense, we cannot be and do what we want because we are not independent of others or God.
- The Bible constantly affirms that the kind of freedom all persons have is the kind of freedom that slaves have.....
10 Tips For Leading Change
1. Define and understand your own reaction to change in order to compare it to the reactions of others.
Even the happiest of changes may cause a feeling of loss for what existed before. As a leader, perhaps you see that the change will save the company, enhance the product, diminish costs, or make the organization more competitive. But what will occur that is outside your own comfort zone? To be a leader of change, you must identify how the change will impact your own personal situation. What stresses will you experience that you will either consciously or unconsciously pass on to others? Will you also fear for the future of your job or your department? Will you survive, but see many of your colleagues go? Will you have to learn a new skill or move to a new location? Only if you take the time to specifically define your own reaction to change can you put yourself in the shoes of those you lead who will have their own reactions, fears, and behavioral fallout.
2. Involve those people who will be affected by change in both the planning and implementation process.
When change is dictated, resistance is the automatic response to the stimulus. Leaders are able to gain much more cooperation when they invite others to join the plan. Include them in figuring out how to implement change, even when they are obvious in their opposition. Co-opting the opposition is the best way to get their buy-in. Leaders may even end up with some better ideas for making the change work....
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10 Tips For Leading Change
1. Define and understand your own reaction to change in order to compare it to the reactions of others.
Even the happiest of changes may cause a feeling of loss for what existed before. As a leader, perhaps you see that the change will save the company, enhance the product, diminish costs, or make the organization more competitive. But what will occur that is outside your own comfort zone? To be a leader of change, you must identify how the change will impact your own personal situation. What stresses will you experience that you will either consciously or unconsciously pass on to others? Will you also fear for the future of your job or your department? Will you survive, but see many of your colleagues go? Will you have to learn a new skill or move to a new location? Only if you take the time to specifically define your own reaction to change can you put yourself in the shoes of those you lead who will have their own reactions, fears, and behavioral fallout.
2. Involve those people who will be affected by change in both the planning and implementation process.
When change is dictated, resistance is the automatic response to the stimulus. Leaders are able to gain much more cooperation when they invite others to join the plan. Include them in figuring out how to implement change, even when they are obvious in their opposition. Co-opting the opposition is the best way to get their buy-in. Leaders may even end up with some better ideas for making the change work....
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Are You Being Followed?
1Th 1:6 “And ye became followers of us, and of the Lord, having received the word in much affliction, with joy of the Holy Ghost:”
A young upstart in the ministry once asked an elder more seasoned minister, "When will I know that I am leader in the Church?" With that the seasoned minister responded simply, “When you are being followed.”
Leadership in God’s church is not position. It is not having or being in an office. Being elected by a group of people neither actually causes you to become their leader. They may have elected or chosen you to do a job, but that does not mean that you are their leader. Leadership only happens in the church when you are being followed.
Jesus’ followers literally followed him through deserts, mountains, and stormy seas. No obstacle was too great for the opportunity to be near to the master. Here is where many church leaders find out if they’ve made the grade or not. One statistic tells us that very often after a building program, many pastors too often leave a church to find another pastorate. Why is that? Could it be that the parishioners didn’t like the color of the paint the pastor chose? Did they not like the way he conducted the business of the project? Was too much money spent? Too little accomplished? Wrong decisions? Bad decisions? A leader will know if he is truly a leader if he followed even after a storm.
When Jesus’ followers were in the ship that was being tossed by the waves, they cried out to their leader and he healed the situation they were in. Here is where an elected person becomes a leader of people. Knowing what to do in the storm will validate your leadership. Knowing how to act in a crisis elevates you above your fellow. Not everybody is capable of making tough decisions. Only a leader worth following knows when and how to step to the forefront and take charge of a chaotic situation.
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Are You Being Followed?
1Th 1:6 “And ye became followers of us, and of the Lord, having received the word in much affliction, with joy of the Holy Ghost:”
A young upstart in the ministry once asked an elder more seasoned minister, "When will I know that I am leader in the Church?" With that the seasoned minister responded simply, “When you are being followed.”
Leadership in God’s church is not position. It is not having or being in an office. Being elected by a group of people neither actually causes you to become their leader. They may have elected or chosen you to do a job, but that does not mean that you are their leader. Leadership only happens in the church when you are being followed.
Jesus’ followers literally followed him through deserts, mountains, and stormy seas. No obstacle was too great for the opportunity to be near to the master. Here is where many church leaders find out if they’ve made the grade or not. One statistic tells us that very often after a building program, many pastors too often leave a church to find another pastorate. Why is that? Could it be that the parishioners didn’t like the color of the paint the pastor chose? Did they not like the way he conducted the business of the project? Was too much money spent? Too little accomplished? Wrong decisions? Bad decisions? A leader will know if he is truly a leader if he followed even after a storm.
When Jesus’ followers were in the ship that was being tossed by the waves, they cried out to their leader and he healed the situation they were in. Here is where an elected person becomes a leader of people. Knowing what to do in the storm will validate your leadership. Knowing how to act in a crisis elevates you above your fellow. Not everybody is capable of making tough decisions. Only a leader worth following knows when and how to step to the forefront and take charge of a chaotic situation.
[ read more...]
Guard the Gates - Part 2
The expression of guarding the gates really has to do with guarding the mind. As noted in the previous message, John Bunyan wrote another classic although much less recognized than Pilgrim’s Progress entitled The Holy War which tells the story of Mansoul being captured and taken over by Diabolus because of the gates being compromised. That same plan is still being effectively carried out in our generation. People of every kind and status within the church have a responsibility to not let this kind of thing take place. This is especially true of those who are actively called into the ministry. If the shepherd can be toppled, the sheep will scatter....
[ read more...]
Guard the Gates - Part 2
The expression of guarding the gates really has to do with guarding the mind. As noted in the previous message, John Bunyan wrote another classic although much less recognized than Pilgrim’s Progress entitled The Holy War which tells the story of Mansoul being captured and taken over by Diabolus because of the gates being compromised. That same plan is still being effectively carried out in our generation. People of every kind and status within the church have a responsibility to not let this kind of thing take place. This is especially true of those who are actively called into the ministry. If the shepherd can be toppled, the sheep will scatter....
[ read more...]
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