Home Friendship Groups - The Individual

I doubt there has ever been a day or society more dysfunctional than the one we are living in today.

Children are growing up in homes with absent and all too often abusive fathers and mothers. These children grow up in an emotionally or physically abusive atmosphere. One recent statistic stated that 1/3 of the homes in America are verbally abusive homes. Where husbands stop short of hitting their wives, but instead wound them with words that cut deep into her heart and emotional make up. Many husbands are grown men with childhood scars that leave them wounded little boys for the rest of their lives. These same men are often emotionally unable to minister to the sensitive needs of their own children and thus a new generation of dysfunctional adults are born.

The individual is wounded, emotionally scarred and hurting spiritually. There is in America a vacuum of need in the individual's life. It may well be said that there has never been a time when this vacuum has been greater.

We have a Savior who can answer the needs of the individual, yet with this wonderful touch of God on our lives, we are all too often unable to transfer God's loving touch to the hurting, needy individual.

Where is the catalyst that will bring Christ to this hurting world? The catalyst is the Church, yet the catalyst is sometimes unable to accomplish her part. We have to ask ourselves, why? The disciples tried their best to shut Blind Bartimaeus up. They were so inebriated with their own relationship with Jesus that they almost angrily tried to shoo Bartimaeus away. Never noticing his need, they said, "Leave the Master alone".

The individual in America is an emotional mess, with wounds and scars that alcohol, drugs and psychologists cannot heal. The Church is this person's only hope. However, in the traditional church setting, the individual is not always wholly ministered to. Many people have needs that cannot be completely met in the traditional church service. If a silent poll were taken in the average church, I believe we would be surprised to hear what some people would say concerning their personal, spiritual and emotional needs being met.

In the Home Friendship Group setting, the individual has an opportunity to not only be ministered to, but to minister to others. The Bible does tell us to "edify one another". A true family unit is developed when adult members share in the responsibility of preparing food for fellowship times, praying & worshiping together, caring for the children of the group, and hosting meetings in one another's homes.

Those wonderful complainers!

Don't you love them? They add so much to a church or organization. Their destructive attitude is so encouraging. They build faith in all who fall prey to their vile contempt. They're such a blessing!

It is funny though, how some people hate to hear a complaint, but love to be the one complaining. I suppose there are many reasons why a person complains. However, I doubt anyone realizes the full impact of it's destructive ability.

Several years ago, I was working on a job with a fellow leader in the church. We were working the midnight shift in a factory. As the night went on, I found myself complaining to this brother about my situation. At the time I felt justified because it was late and I was tired. I was also hurting emotionally and felt that people in the church should be more sensitive to my families needs. I had a list of reasons why it was OK for me to complain.

It has been over 11 years since that night and I have regretted it ever since. I cannot tell you how many times I have asked God to forgive me for allowing that negative spirit to work through me that night.

The real reason I feel so bad about that particular night, is that in fact the church people had been absolutely wonderful to us. They treated us with respect. They often blessed us financially. They always encouraged us. They took us in when we had nothing to offer them in return and placed us in leadership. As I said they were wonderful to us!

I bare my soul today only to point out how simple it is at times to feel justified to complain. I believe it is true that the majority of people who complain, are complaining about people who they actually owe a great debt of gratitude to.

Some time ago we had a man in our church who was a graduate of the school of complaining. This guy had a Masters degree in it. At first, I thought he had a valid points. However, as the years went by and we all grew weary of his negative verbiage, we also began to see the real problem. In fact he was his own problem.

The people he complained about were actually wonderful people who he owed a great debt to. Even his boss who he often attacked, had to have been an angel to have kept this guy employed. The boss was actually trying to help the man by keeping him on. Yet all the time this guy did nothing but talk bad about him.

This man finally left our church. I am thankful for the strong folks in the church who would not listen to him destroy their Pastor. I am also thankful he is gone. I did not realize at the time how much of my energy was being spent trying to please a man who could never be pleased.

The day after he left, the sky was blue and the birds were again singing. In fact they were singing to me. They were singing me praises and telling me how good I am as a Pastor. They were singing these praises from the tops of the trees for all the world to hear. Opps...sorry about that...reality check! O.K. so it wasn't the birds, but it was one or two wonderful people who attended the church I Pastored. They saw what the man was trying to do and thwarted it with praises.

Praise someone today!

Check up From the Neck up

Five truths of attitudes:

Truth #1:  Our attitude determines how we approach life.

Are you someone who sees the glass half full or half empty?  Do you even see the glass?  The attitude we have whenever we wake up in the morning will usually dictate how the rest of our day will be. 

The story is told of the grandpa and grandma who visited their grandchildren.  Each afternoon, grandpa would lie down for a nap.  One day, as a practical joke, the kids decided to put Limburger cheese in his moustache.  Quite soon he awoke sniffing.  "Why, this room stinks," he exclaimed as he got up and went out into the kitchen.  He wasn't there long until he decided that the kitchen smelled too, so he walked outdoors for a breath of fresh air.  Much to the grandpa's surprise, the open air brought no relief, and he proclaimed, "The whole world stinks!"  How true is that in life?  When we carry "Limburger cheese" in our attitudes, the whole world smells bad to us. 

The Little Foxes

Pastor Philip Harrelson has contributed a fantastic sermon series titled, “The Little Foxes" to www.PreachIt.org.

We all have spiritual vineyards that we are to be the steward over.  The first vineyard that Rev. Harrelson mentions is that of the soul.  We also have the vineyard of our family and the church.  These are vineyards that we have been chosen to watch over and maintain.  However, there are little foxes that are working to destroy our vineyards.

In this encouraging and instructive series, Rev. Harrelson goes into detail and explains how to efficiently “improve the soil of these vineyards.”  He describes how we need to meditate on God’s Word every day and pray throughout the week as just a couple of the ways to “water” our vineyards. 

Every Pastor, ministry team member and saint of God would greatly benefit to read these messages and apply these life lessons.  This is a series that needs to be taught to every church and every team member. 

Here is the first paragraph of the first lesson in this series: 

Every person has a vineyard.  We may not perceive that we are keepers of vineyards but there are responsibilities that we all have for our vineyards.  First, we have the personal vineyard of our own soul.  It is perhaps the most important vineyard of all that we are to take the most care of.  Our soul is the most valuable possession that we have according to the Word of the Lord (Matthew 16:26; 10:28; Ecclesiastes 12:7).  The care of the soul is a very tedious and challenging process.  It involves the careful work of plowing, planting, cultivating, weeding, watering, and harvesting.  Just as a farmer is in a joint venture with God, to care for our soul will have to be a joint venture with God.  We cannot do it all alone!  We must have God to intervene with Spirit and Word to accomplish His will for us.  

Signs You Need A Church Administrator

Here are five symptoms that indicate you need a church administrator to help with the load:

1.  More than 25% of your time is spent on church administration. Pastors often find themselves attending to administrative needs that are beyond the scope of a secretary’s authority. This may include tasks such as directing the volunteers who clean the church, reviewing the accounts payable and managing the building maintenance.

2.  Your administrative tasks are increasing – with no relief on the horizon. A growing church will generate an ever-increasing amount of administrative tasks. Although the financial strength of the church is a key factor in determining the right time to hire an administrator, the problem of administrative overload will have to be faced and resolved sooner or later.

3.  You can’t seem to find enough time for prayer and sermon preparation. Too many hours spent on administration can result in a starving flock because your times with the Lord and your personal study of the Scriptures have been neglected.

A Leader's Courage - An Honest Look

Fear can and will keep many good leaders from becoming great leaders. Many mountain climbers have stood at the base camp of Mt. Everest, yet only a small percentage of them have had the courage it takes to actually climb to the top of that mountain.

Fear of the unknown. Fear of what people will say if we fail. Fear of the criticism along the way. Fear of being the only one saying “It can be done.” Fear of our vision being rejected by others.

Fear can kill our God given directive. It can suffocate our dream.

A position or office does not cause a person to become a leader. Though a person be chosen to Pastor a church, they are not truly a leader until they face their fears and actually lead that congregation into the places that God would want it to go. Being chosen to lead is easy. Actually leading is hard.

What defines a true visionary? Is it someone who has a lot of great ideas? Someone who sees the need for change, but never causes that change to take place? About 1 year ago I asked my wife to be very critical of me. I asked her to honestly tell me if I was someone who saw the things that needed to change and caused them to change or if I was someone who pointed out all the areas of needed change and did nothing. Her response though honest, was not what I wanted to hear.

I have determined, that if I am unable or unwilling to cause change in a given area, I will keep my mouth shut. Although I may see a need to change, I will say nothing, unless it is to spark a vision in another person who is capable of creating the needed change.

When I see another person or ministry who is successful, I go to them and find out how/why they are having success. I try to learn from them. Yet, I usually find that the reason they are having success is something I felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me about in the past. I get beat up pretty bad as I realize that God told me to do this same thing several years ago, only I lacked the courage to launch into it. You must admit with me that some of the more successful people around you are doing things that you yourself have considered, only they did it and you didn’t.

Shared Values Make A Difference

People work better when they are working towards the same goal.  When agendas or expectations differ, confusion often wins over production.

Take the time to get people on the same track.  Taking the time to educate and motivate people towards the same agenda will pay dividends.   You may want to start a project or ministry today, but consider that this vision may be for a future date.  God sometimes speaks to leaders about things we think are for today, but in reality, they are events God would cause to happen in the future.  Take the time to educate people and cause them to come under the same burden and vision that you have. This will make the process much easier once God’s plan begins to unfold.

Create teams.  People work better when they have someone else to lean on now and then.  A team can encourage each other and help to share burdens.  This also allows people who are inexperienced and who would otherwise be unable to get involved the opportunity to gain experience.  They may later be able to lead a team of their own.

Pastor/Leader – explain your vision thoroughly. Most people want to follow their leader’s vision.  This is absolutely necessary in the church.  Differing visions can kill revival in the church.  “One Vision” should be the theme of every new venture of the church.  When people are following the Pastor’s vision, their own agenda does not get into the way.

Eight Refocusing Questions

Every Church needs to answer the following eight strategic questions:

 1.  Why do we exist as a church?  (Biblical Purpose)

2.  How has God worked in our past?  (Ministry Milestones)

3.  Whom has God called us to reach?  (Ministry focus)

4.  Who has God shaped us to be?  (Core Values)

5.  Where is God leading us in the future?  (Vision)

10 Steps To An Empowered Team

Are you struggling to get things done?  Are you the one who is usually completing the projects of your church and overseeing every ministry?  Does it seem like there is never enough time to get all that you need done, even though you are not doing nearly what your vision would require?  Are you feeling used up and exhausted?

You are not alone!  Many Pastors and ministry leaders feel this same way. One of the reasons is because we are not very good at utilizing the talents and strengths of others.  Here are 10 ways you can begin utilizing the people in your ministry to create a more resourceful and accomplished ministry team.   

Cast a vision - The next time you get up to announce a new ministry in your church or the direction you feel the church should be taking, cast a vision.  Share with your ministry team the end result.  You don't have to tell them all of what it is going to take to get there, just tell them the end result.  "I believe our church can be running 200 by next Easter!"  Now there will be many facets of ministry that are going to be needed to cause your congregation to run 200 by Easter, but for now all you want to do is give the leadership team a goal.  "200 by Easter!"

Ask for help - Acknowledging you need help is liberating for the leader!  it is also a grand opportunity for the team to feel like they are coming alongside their pastor.  Asking for help is not becoming vulnerable, it is being honest.  It is also being responsible.  God gave you your ministry team for a reason.  That reason is so that you can utilize their talents, knowledge and energy to accomplish the work of ministry God has envisioned you with.  "Would you consider working together and with me to cause our church to be running 200 by Easter?"

Allow the Genius of the group to be found - The smartest person in the room is not you.  Nor is it any one other person in the group.  The Genius in the room is always the sum of all of those who are on your ministry team.  If allowed to be heard, there are people on your team who have ideas and experiences that can advance your vision much better than you can by yourself.  "What are some things that we could do to cause our church to be running 200 by Easter?"